酷兔英语

章节正文

Take back, take back your viands; for a thousand drachmae I
would not give a drop of peace. (A young woman enters) But who is she?

WEDDING GUEST
She is the matron of honour; she wants to say something to you

from the bride privately.
DICAEOPOLIS

Come, what do you wish to say? (The MATRON OF HONOUR whispers in
his ear.) Ah! what a ridiculous demand! The bride burns with longing

to keep her husband's tool at home. Come! bring hither my truce; to
her alone will I give some of it, for she is a woman, and, as such,

should not suffer under the war. Here, friend, hand me your vial.
And as to the manner of applying this balm, tell the bride, when a

levy of soldiers is made, to rub some in bed on her husband, where
most needed. (The MATRON OF HONOUR and the WEDDING GUEST depart.)

There, slave, take away my truce! Now, quick, bring me the
wine-flagon, that I may fill up the drinking bowls!

(The slave leaves. A HERALD enters.)
LEADER OF THE CHORUS (in tragic style)

I see a man, "striding along apace, with knitted brows; he seems
to us the bearer of terrible tidings."

HERALD (in tragic style)
Oh! toils and battles and Lamachuses!

(He knocks on LAMACHUS' door.)
LAMACHUS (from within; in tragic style)

What noise resounds around my dwelling, where shines the glint
of arms.

(He comes out of his house.)
HERALD

The Generals order you forthwith to take your battalions and
your plumes, and, despite the snow, to go and guard our borders.

They have learnt that a band of Boeotians intend takingadvantage of
the Feast of Cups to invade our country.

LAMACHUS
Ah! the Generals! they are numerous, but not good for much! It's

cruel, not to be able to enjoy the feast!
DICAEOPOLIS

Oh! warlike host of Lamachus!
LAMACHUS

Wretch! do you dare to jeer me?
DICAEOPOLIS

Do you want to fight this four-winged Geryon?
LAMACHUS

Oh! oh! what fearful tidings!
DICAEOPOLIS

Ah! ah! I see another heraldrunning up; what news does he bring
me?

(Another HERALD enters.)
HERALD

Dicaeopolis!
DICAEOPOLIS

What is the matter?
HERALD

Come quickly to the feast and bring your basket and your cup; it
is the priest of Bacchus who invites you. But hasten, the guests

have been waiting for you a long while. All is ready-couches,
tables, cushions, chaplets, perfumes, dainties and whores to boot;

biscuits, cakes, sesamebread, tarts, lovely dancing women, and the
"Harmodius." But come with all speed.

LAMACHUS
Oh! hostile gods!

DICAEOPOLIS
This is not astounding; you have chosen this great ugly Gorgon's

head for your patron. (To a slave) You, shut the door, and let someone
get ready the meal.

LAMACHUS
Slave! slave! my knapsack!

DICAEOPOLIS
Slave! slave! a basket!

LAMACHUS
Take salt and thyme, slave, and don't forget the onions.

DICAEOPOLIS
Get some fish for me; I cannot bear onions.

LAMACHUS
Slave, wrap me up a little stale salt meat in a fig-leaf.

DICAEOPOLIS
And for me some nice fat tripe in a fig-leaf; I will have it

cooked here.
LAMACHUS

Bring me the plumes for my helmet.
DICAEOPOLIS

Bring me wild pigeons and thrushes.
LAMACHUS

How white and beautiful are these ostrich feathers!
DICAEOPOLIS

How fat and well browned is the flesh of this wood-pigeon!
LAMACHUS (to DICAEOPOLIS)

My friend, stop scoffing at my armour.
DICAEOPOLIS (to LAMACHUS)

My friend, stop staring at my thrushes.
LAMACHUS (to his slave)

Bring me the case for my triple plume.
DICAEOPOLIS (to his slave)

Pass me over that dish of hare.
LAMACHUS

Alas! the moths have eaten the hair of my crest.
DICAEOPOLIS

Shall I eat my hare before dinner?
LAMACHUS

My friend, will you kindly not speak to me?
DICAEOPOLIS

I'm not speaking to you; I'm scolding my slave. (To the slave)
Shall we wager and submit the matter to Lamachus, which of the two

is the best to eat, a locust or a thrush?
LAMACHUS

Insolent hound!
DICAEOPOLIS

He much prefers the locusts.
LAMACHUS

Slave, unhook my spear and bring it to me.
DICAEOPOLIS

Slave, slave, take the sausage from the fire and bring it to me.
LAMACHUS

Come, let me draw my spear from its sheath. Hold it, slave, hold
it tight.

DICAEOPOLIS
And you, slave, grip well hold of the skewer.

LAMACHUS
Slave, the bracings for my shield.

DICAEOPOLIS
Pull the loaves out of the oven and bring me these bracings of

my stomach.
LAMACHUS

My round buckler with the Gorgon's head.
DICAEOPOLIS

My round cheese-cake.
LAMACHUS

What clumsy wit!
DICAEOPOLIS

What delicious cheese-cake!
LAMACHUS

Pour oil on the buckler. Hah! hah I can see reflected there an old
man who will be accused of cowardice.

DICAEOPOLIS
Pour honey on the cake. Hah! hah! hah! I can see an old man who

makes Lamachus of the Gorgon's head weep with rage.
LAMACHUS

Slave, full war armour.
DICAEOPOLIS

Slave, my beaker; that is my armour.
LAMACHUS

With this I hold my ground with any foe.
DICAEOPOLIS

And I with this in any drinking bout.
LAMACHUS

Fasten the strappings to the buckler.
DICAEOPOLIS

Pack the dinner well into the basket.
LAMACHUS

Personally I shall carry the knapsack.
DICAEOPOLIS

Personally I shall carry the cloak.
LAMACHUS

Slave, take up the buckler and let's be off. It is snowing! God
help us! A wintry business!

DICAEOPOLIS
Take up the basket, mine's a festive business.

(They depart in opposite directions.)
LEADER OF THE CHORUS

We wish you both joy on your journeys, which differ so much. One
goes to mount guard and freeze, while the other will drink, crowned

with flowers, and then lie with a young beauty till he gets his tool
all sore.

CHORUS (singing)
I say it freely; may Zeus confound Antimachus, the poet-historian,

the son of Psacas! When Choregus at the Lenaea, alas! alas! he
dismissed me dinnerless. May I see him devouring with his eyes a

cuttle-fish, just served, well cooked, hot and properly salted; and
the moment that he stretches his hand to help himself, may a dog seize

it and run off with it. Such is my first wish. I also hope for him a
misfortune at night. That returning all-fevered from horse practice,

he may meet an Orestes, mad with drink, who will crack him over the
head; that wishing to seize a stone, he, in the dark, may pick up a

fresh turd, hurl, miss him and hit Cratinus.
(The slave of LAMACHUS enters.)

SLAVE OF LAMACHUS (knocking on the door of LAMACHUS' house, in
tragic style)

Captives present within the house of Lamachus, water, water in a
little pot! Make it warm, get ready cloths, cerate, greasy wool and

bandages for his ankle. In leaping a ditch, the master has hurt
himself against a stake; he has dislocated and twisted his ankle,

broken his head by falling on a stone, while his Gorgon shot far
away from his buckler. His mighty braggadocio plume rolled on the

ground; at this sight he uttered these doleful words, "Radiant star, I
gaze on thee for the last time; my eyes close to all light, I die."

Having said this, he falls into the water, gets out again, meets
some runaways and pursues the robbers with his spear at their

backsides. But here he comes, himself. Get the door open.
(In this final scene all the lines are sung.)

LAMACHUS (limping in with the help of two soldiers and singing a
song of woe)

Oh! heavens! oh! heavens! What cruel pain! I faint, I tremble!
Alas! I die! the foe's lance has struck me! But what would hurt me

most would be for Dicaeopolis to see me wounded thus and laugh at my
ill-fortune.

DICAEOPOLIS (enters with two courtesans, singing gaily)
Oh! my gods! what breasts! Swelling like quinces! Come, my

treasures, give me voluptuous kisses Glue your lips to mine. Haha! I
was the first to empty my cup.

LAMACHUS
Oh! cruel fate! how I suffer! accursed wounds!

DICAEOPOLIS


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