back to the house.
DAUGHTERS

Wee-wee, wee-wee!
MEGARIAN

Is that a little sow, or not?
DICAEOPOLIS

Yes, it seems so; but let it grow up, and it will be a fine fat
thing.

MEGARIAN
In five years it will be just like its mother.

DICAEOPOLIS
But it cannot be sacrificed.

MEGARIAN
And why not?

DICAEOPOLIS
It has no tail.

MEGARIAN
Because it is quite young, but in good time it will have a big

one, thick and red. But if you are willing to bring it up you will
have a very fine sow.

DICAEOPOLIS
The two are as like as two peas.

MEGARIAN
They are born of the same father and mother; let them be fattened,

let them grow their bristles, and they will be the finest sows you can
offer to Aphrodite.

DICAEOPOLIS
But sows are not immolated to Aphrodite.

MEGARIAN
Not sows to Aphrodite! Why, she's the only goddess to whom they

are offered! the flesh of my sows will be excellent on your spit.
DICAEOPOLIS

Can they eat alone? They no longer need their mother?
MEGARIAN

Certainly not, nor their father.
DICAEOPOLIS

What do they like most?
MEGARIAN

Whatever is given them; but ask for yourself.
DICAEOPOLIS

Speak! little sow.
DAUGHTERS

Wee-wee, wee-wee!
DICAEOPOLIS

Can you eat chick-pease?
DAUGHTERS

Wee-wee, wee-wee, wee-wee!
DICAEOPOLIS

And Attic figs?
DAUGHTERS

Wee-wee, wee-wee!
DICAEOPOLIS

What sharp squeaks at the name of figs. Come, let some figs be
brought for these little pigs. Will they eat them? Goodness! how

they munch them, what a grinding of teeth, mighty Heracles! I
believe those pigs hail from the land of the Voracians.

MEGARIAN (aside)
But they have not eaten all the figs; I took this one myself.

DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! what curious creatures! For what sum will you sell them?

MEGARIAN
I will give you one for a bunch of garlic, and the other, if you

like, for a quart measure of salt.
DICAEOPOLIS

I'll buy them. Wait for me here.
(He goes into the house.)

MEGARIAN
The deal is done. Hermes, god of good traders, grant I may sell

both my wife and my mother in the same way!
(An INFORMER enters.)

INFORMER
Hi! fellow, what country are you from?

MEGARIAN
I am a pig-merchant from Megara.

INFORMER
I shall denounce both your pigs and yourself as public enemies.

MEGARIAN
Ah! here our troubles begin afresh!

INFORMER
Let go of that sack. I'll teach you to talk Megarian!

MEGARIAN (loudly)
Dicaeopolis, want to denounce me.

DICAEOPOLIS (from within)
Who dares do this thing? (He comes out of his house.)

Inspectors, drive out the informers. Ah! you offer to enlighten us
without a lamp!

INFORMER
What! I may not denounce our enemies?

DICAEOPOLIS (With a threatening gesture)
Watch out for yourself, and go off pretty quick and denounce

elsewhere.
(The INFORMER runs away.)

MEGARIAN
What a plague to Athens!

DICAEOPOLIS
Be reassured, Megarian. Here is the price for your two sowlets,

the garlic and the salt. Farewell and much happiness!
MEGARIAN

Ah! we never have that amongst us.
DICAEOPOLIS

Oh, I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing
MEGARIAN

Farewell, dear little sows, and seek, far from your father, to
munch your bread with salt, if they give you any.

(He departs and DICAEOPOLIS takes the "sows" into his house.)
CHORUS (singing)

Here is a man truly happy. See how everything succeeds to his
wish. Peacefully seated in his market, he will earn his living; woe to

Ctesias, and all other informers who dare to enter there! You will not
be cheated as to the value of wares, you will not again see Prepis

wiping his big arse, nor will Cleonymus jostle you; you will take your
walks, clothed in a fine tunic, without meeting Hyperbolus and his

unceasing quibblings, without being accosted on the public place by
any importunate fellow, neither by Cratinus, shaven in the fashion

of the adulterers, nor by this musician, who plagues us with his silly
improvisations, that hyper-rogue Artemo, with his arm-pits stinking as

foul as a goat, like his father before him. You will not be the butt
of the villainous Pauson's jeers, nor of Lysistratus, the disgrace

of the Cholargian deme, who is the incarnation of all the vices, and
endures cold and hunger more than thirty days in the month.

(A BOEOTIAN enters, followed by his slave, who is carrying a large
assortment of articles of food, and by a troop of flute players.)

BOEOTIAN
By Heracles! my shoulder is quite black and blue. Ismenias, put

the penny-royal down there very gently, and all of you, musicians from
Thebes, strike up on your bone flutes "The Dog's Arse."

(The Musicians immediately begin an atrocious rendition of a vulgar
tune.)

DICAEOPOLIS
Enough, damn you; get out of here Rascally hornets, away with you!

Whence has sprung this accursed swarm of Chaeris fellows which comes
assailing my door?

(The Musicians depart.)
BOEOTIAN

Ah! by Iolas! Drive them off, my dear host, you will please me
immensely; all the way from Thebes, they were there piping behind me

and they have completely stripped my penny-royal of its blossom. But
will you buy anything of me, some chickens or some locusts?

DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! good day, Boeotian. eater of good round loaves. What do you

bring?
BOEOTIAN

All that is good in Boeotia, marjoram, penny-royal, rush-mats,
lampwicks, ducks, jays, woodcocks, water-fowl, wrens, divers.

DICAEOPOLIS
A regular hail of birds is beating down on my market.

BOEOTIAN
I also bring geese, hares, foxes, moles, hedgehogs, cats, lyres,

martins, otters and eels from the Copaic lake.
DICAEOPOLIS

Ah! my friend, you, who bring me the most delicious of fish, let
me salute your eels.

BOEOTIAN (in tragic style)
Come, thou, the eldest of my fifty Copaic virgins, come and

complete the joy of our host.
DICAEOPOLIS (likewise)

Oh! my well-beloved, thou object of my long regrets, thou art here
at last then, thou, after whom the comic poets sigh, thou, who art

dear to Morychus. Slaves, hither with the stove and the bellows.
Look at this charming eel, that returns to us after six long years

of absence. Salute it, my children; as for myself, I will supply
coal to do honour to the stranger. Take it into my house; death itself

could not separate me from her, if cooked with beet leaves.
BOEOTIAN

And what will you give me in return?
DICAEOPOLIS

It will pay for your market dues. And as to the rest, what do
you wish to sell me?

BOEOTIAN
Why, everything.

DICAEOPOLIS
On what terms? For ready-money or in wares from these parts?

BOEOTIAN
I would take some Athenian produce, that we have not got in

Boeotia,
DICAEOPOLIS

Phaleric anchovies, pottery?
BOEOTIAN

Anchovies, pottery? But these we have. I want produce that is
wanting with us and that is plentiful here.

DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! I have the very thing; take away an informer, packed up

carefully as crockery-ware.
BOEOTIAN

By the twin gods! I should earn big money, if I took one; I
would exhibit him as an ape full of spite.

DICAEOPOLIS (as an informer enters)
Hah! here we have Nicarchus, who comes to denounce you.

BOEOTIAN
How small he is!

DICAEOPOLIS
But all pure evil.

NICARCHUS
Whose are these goods?

DICAEOPOLIS
Mine, they come from Boeotia, I call Zeus to witness.

NICARCHUS
I denounce them as coming from an enemy's country.

BOEOTIAN
What! you declare war against birds?

NICARCHUS

• willing [´wiliŋ] a.情愿的，乐意的 (初中英语单词)
• goddess [´gɔdis] n.女神 (初中英语单词)
• measure [´meʒə] n.量度；范围 vt.测量 (初中英语单词)
• farewell [feə´wel] int.再见 n.&a.告别 (初中英语单词)
• hunger [´hʌŋgə] n.饥饿；渴望 (初中英语单词)
• gently [´dʒentli] ad.温和地；静静地 (初中英语单词)
• blossom [´blɔsəm] n.花；开花期 vi.开花 (初中英语单词)
• delicious [di´liʃəs] a.美味的，可口的 (初中英语单词)
• salute [sə´lu:t] n.&v.招呼；行礼；敬礼 (初中英语单词)
• hither [´hiðə] ad.到此处 (初中英语单词)
• charming [´tʃɑ:miŋ] a.可爱的；极好的 (初中英语单词)
• absence [´æbsəns] n.不在，缺席；缺乏 (初中英语单词)
• exhibit [ig´zibit] vt.展出 n.展览品 (初中英语单词)
• mighty [´maiti] a.强有力的 ad.很 (高中英语单词)
• denounce [di´nauns] vt.指责；告发；揭发 (高中英语单词)
• plague [pleig] n.瘟疫 vt.使...染疫 (高中英语单词)
• amongst [ə´mʌŋst] prep.其中之一 =among (高中英语单词)
• musician [mju:´ziʃən] n.音乐家，作曲家 (高中英语单词)
• sprung [sprʌŋ] spring的过去分词 (高中英语单词)
• tragic [´trædʒik] a.悲剧的；悲惨的 (高中英语单词)
• eldest [´eldist] a.最年长的 (高中英语单词)
• plentiful [´plentifəl] a.丰富的；多的 (高中英语单词)
• enlighten [in´laitn] vt.启发，开导 (英语四级单词)
• jostle [´dʒɔsəl] v.&n.推，撞，挤(人) (英语四级单词)
• accursed [ə´kə:sid] a.被诅咒的；可憎的 (英语四级单词)
• garlic [´gɑ:lik] n.蒜，大蒜 (英语六级单词)
• peacefully [´pisfuli] ad.平静地；安宁地 (英语六级单词)
• beating [´bi:tiŋ] n.敲；搅打；失败 (英语六级单词)
• athenian [ə´θi:njən] a.雅典(人)的n.雅典人 (英语六级单词)
• pottery [´pɔtəri] n.陶器；陶器制造厂 (英语六级单词)