That the lover, sick to death,
Wish'd himself the heaven's breath.
"Air," quoth he "thy cheeks may blow;
Air, would I might
triumph so!
But, alack, my hand is sworn
Ne'er to pluck thee from thy thorn;
Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,
Youth so apt to pluck a sweet.
Do not call it sin in me
That I am forsworn for thee;
Thou for whom Jove would swear
Juno but an Ethiope were;
And deny himself for Jove,
Turning
mortal for thy love."'
This will I send; and something else more plain
That shall express my true love's fasting pain.
O, would the King, Berowne and Longaville,
Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,
Would from my
forehead wipe a perjur'd note;
For none
offend where all alike do dote.
LONGAVILLE. [Advancing] Dumain, thy love is far from charity,
That in love's grief desir'st society;
You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,
To be o'erheard and taken napping so.
KING. [Advancing] Come, sir, you blush; as his, your case is such.
You chide at him,
offending twice as much:
You do not love Maria! Longaville
Did never
sonnet for her sake compile;
Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart
His
loving bosom, to keep down his heart.
I have been closely shrouded in this bush,
And mark'd you both, and for you both did blush.
I heard your
guilty rhymes, observ'd your fashion,
Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your
passion.
'Ay me!' says one. 'O Jove!' the other cries.
One, her hairs were gold;
crystal the other's eyes.
[To LONGAVILLE] You would for
paradise break faith and troth;
[To Dumain] And Jove for your love would infringe an oath.
What will Berowne say when that he shall hear
Faith infringed which such zeal did swear?
How will he scorn, how will he spend his wit!
How will he
triumph, leap, and laugh at it!
For all the
wealth that ever I did see,
I would not have him know so much by me.
BEROWNE. [Descending] Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy,
Ah, good my liege, I pray thee
pardon me.
Good heart, what grace hast thou thus to reprove
These worms for
loving, that art most in love?
Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears
There is no certain
princess that appears;
You'll not be perjur'd; 'tis a
hateful thing;
Tush, none but minstrels like of
sonneting.
But are you not
ashamed? Nay, are you not,
All three of you, to be thus much o'ershot?
You found his mote; the King your mote did see;
But I a beam do find in each of three.
O, what a scene of fool'ry have I seen,
Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow, and of teen!
O, me, with what
strictpatience have I sat,
To see a king transformed to a gnat!
To see great Hercules whipping a gig,
And
profound Solomon to tune a jig,
And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,
And
critic Timon laugh at idle toys!
Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumain?
And, gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?
And where my liege's? All about the breast.
A caudle, ho!
KING. Too bitter is thy jest.
Are we betrayed thus to thy over-view?
BEROWNE. Not you by me, but I betrayed to you.
I that am honest, I that hold it sin
To break the vow I am engaged in;
I am betrayed by keeping company
With men like you, men of inconstancy.
When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?
Or groan for Joan? or spend a minute's time
In pruning me? When shall you hear that I
Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,
A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,
A leg, a limb-
KING. Soft! whither away so fast?
A true man or a thief that gallops so?
BEROWNE. I post from love; good lover, let me go.
Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD
JAQUENETTA. God bless the King!
KING. What present hast thou there?
COSTARD. Some certain
treason.
KING. What makes
treason here?
COSTARD. Nay, it makes nothing, sir.
KING. If it mar nothing neither,
The
treason and you go in peace away together.
JAQUENETTA. I
beseech your Grace, let this letter be read;
Our person misdoubts it: 'twas
treason, he said.
KING. Berowne, read it over. [BEROWNE reads the letter]
Where hadst thou it?
JAQUENETTA. Of Costard.
KING. Where hadst thou it?
COSTARD. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
[BEROWNE tears the letter]
KING. How now! What is in you? Why dost thou tear it?
BEROWNE. A toy, my liege, a toy! Your Grace needs not fear it.
LONGAVILLE. It did move him to
passion, and
therefore let's hear
it.
DUMAIN. It is Berowne's
writing, and here is his name.
[Gathering up the pieces]
BEROWNE. [ To COSTARD] Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, you were born
to do me shame.
Guilty, my lord,
guilty! I
confess, I
confess.
KING. What?
BEROWNE. That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess;
He, he, and you- and you, my liege!- and I
Are pick-purses in love, and we
deserve to die.
O,
dismiss this
audience, and I shall tell you more.
DUMAIN. Now the number is even.
BEROWNE. True, true, we are four.
Will these turtles be gone?
KING. Hence, sirs, away.
COSTARD. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTA
BEROWNE. Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!
As true we are as flesh and blood can be.
The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;
Young blood doth not obey an old decree.
We cannot cross the cause why we were born,
Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
KING. What, did these rent lines show some love of thine?
BEROWNE. 'Did they?' quoth you. Who sees the
heavenly Rosaline
That, like a rude and
savage man of Inde
At the first op'ning of the
gorgeous east,
Bows not his
vassal head and, strucken blind,
Kisses the base ground with
obedient breast?
What peremptory eagle-sighted eye
Dares look upon the heaven of her brow
That is not blinded by her majesty?
KING. What zeal, what fury hath inspir'd thee now?
My love, her
mistress, is a
gracious moon;
She, an attending star,
scarce seen a light.
BEROWNE. My eyes are then no eves, nor I Berowne.
O, but for my love, day would turn to night!
Of all
complexions the cull'd sovereignty
Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek,
Where several worthies make one dignity,
Where nothing wants that want itself doth seek.
Lend me the
flourish of all gentle tongues-
Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not!
To things of sale a seller's praise belongs:
She passes praise; then praise too short doth blot.
A wither'd
hermit, five-score winters worn,
Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye.
Beauty doth
varnish age, as if new-born,
And gives the
crutch the cradle's infancy.
O, 'tis the sun that maketh all things shine!
KING. By heaven, thy love is black as ebony.
BEROWNE. Is ebony like her? O wood divine!
A wife of such wood were felicity.
O, who can give an oath? Where is a book?
That I may swear beauty doth beauty lack,
If that she learn not of her eye to look.
No face is fair that is not full so black.
KING. O paradox! Black is the badge of hell,
The hue of dungeons, and the school of night;
And beauty's crest becomes the heavens well.
BEROWNE. Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.
O, if in black my lady's brows be deckt,
It mourns that
painting and usurping hair
Should ravish doters with a false aspect;
And
therefore is she born to make black fair.
Her favour turns the fashion of the days;
For native blood is counted
painting now;
And
therefore red that would avoid dispraise
Paints itself black, to
imitate her brow.
DUMAIN. To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
LONGAVILLE. And since her time are colliers counted bright.
KING. And Ethiopes of their sweet
complexion crack.
DUMAIN. Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.
BEROWNE. Your
mistresses dare never come in rain
For fear their colours should be wash'd away.
KING. 'Twere good yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,
I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day.
BEROWNE. I'll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
KING. No devil will
fright thee then so much as she.
DUMAIN. I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
LONGAVILLE. Look, here's thy love: my foot and her face see.
[Showing his shoe]
BEROWNE. O, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
Her feet were much too
dainty for such tread!
DUMAIN. O vile! Then, as she goes, what
upward lies
The street should see as she walk'd overhead.
KING. But what of this? Are we not all in love?
BEROWNE. Nothing so sure; and
thereby all forsworn.
KING. Then leave this chat; and, good Berowne, now prove
Our
lovinglawful, and our faith not torn.
DUMAIN. Ay, marry, there; some
flattery for this evil.
LONGAVILLE. O, some authority how to proceed;
Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil!
DUMAIN. Some salve for perjury.
BEROWNE. 'Tis more than need.
Have at you, then, affection's men-at-arms.
Consider what you first did swear unto:
To fast, to study, and to see no woman-