shameful, I admit,
unworthy of him, I admit, and
therefore . . . not
his true character.
MRS. CHEVELEY. How you men stand up for each other!
LORD GORING. How you women war against each other!
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Bitterly.] I only war against one woman, against
Gertrude Chiltern. I hate her. I hate her now more than ever.
LORD GORING. Because you have brought a real
tragedy into her life,
I suppose.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [With a sneer.] Oh, there is only one real
tragedyin a woman's life. The fact that her past is always her lover, and
her future
invariably her husband.
LORD GORING. Lady Chiltern knows nothing of the kind of life to
which you are alluding.
MRS. CHEVELEY. A woman whose size in gloves is seven and three-
quarters never knows much about anything. You know Gertrude has
always worn seven and three-quarters? That is one of the reasons why
there was never any moral
sympathy between us. . . . Well, Arthur, I
suppose this
romanticinterview may be regarded as at an end. You
admit it was
romantic, don't you? For the
privilege of being your
wife I was ready to
surrender a great prize, the
climax of my
diplomatic
career. You decline. Very well. If Sir Robert doesn't
uphold my Argentine
scheme, I
expose him. VOILE TOUT.
LORD GORING. You mustn't do that. It would be vile,
horrible,
infamous.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Shrugging her shoulders.] Oh! don't use big words.
They mean so little. It is a
commercial transaction. That is all.
There is no good mixing up sentimentality in it. I offered to sell
Robert Chiltern a certain thing. If he won't pay me my price, he
will have to pay the world a greater price. There is no more to be
said. I must go. Good-bye. Won't you shake hands?
LORD GORING. With you? No. Your transaction with Robert Chiltern
may pass as a
loathsomecommercial transaction of a
loathsomecommercial age; but you seem to have forgotten that you came here to-
night to talk of love, you whose lips desecrated the word love, you
to whom the thing is a book closely sealed, went this afternoon to
the house of one of the most noble and gentle women in the world to
degrade her husband in her eyes, to try and kill her love for him, to
put
poison in her heart, and
bitterness in her life, to break her
idol, and, it may be, spoil her soul. That I cannot
forgive you.
That was
horrible. For that there can be no
forgiveness.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Arthur, you are
unjust to me. Believe me, you are
quite
unjust to me. I didn't go to taunt Gertrude at all. I had no
idea of doing anything of the kind when I entered. I called with
Lady Markby simply to ask whether an
ornament, a jewel, that I lost
somewhere last night, had been found at the Chilterns'. If you don't
believe me, you can ask Lady Markby. She will tell you it is true.
The scene that occurred happened after Lady Markby had left, and was
really forced on me by Gertrude's rudeness and sneers. I called, oh!
- a little out of
malice if you like - but really to ask if a diamond
brooch of mine had been found. That was the
origin of the whole
thing.
LORD GORING. A diamond snake-brooch with a ruby?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Yes. How do you know?
LORD GORING. Because it is found. In point of fact, I found it
myself, and stupidly forgot to tell the
butler anything about it as I
was leaving. [Goes over to the writing-table and pulls out the
drawers.] It is in this
drawer. No, that one. This is the brooch,
isn't it? [Holds up the brooch.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. Yes. I am so glad to get it back. It was . . a
present.
LORD GORING. Won't you wear it?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Certainly, if you pin it in. [LORD GORING suddenly
clasps it on her arm.] Why do you put it on as a
bracelet? I never
knew it could he worn as a
bracelet.
LORD GORING. Really?
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Holding out her handsome arm.] No; but it looks
very well on me as a
bracelet, doesn't it?
LORD GORING. Yes; much better than when I saw it last.
MRS. CHEVELEY. When did you see it last?
LORD GORING. [Calmly.] Oh, ten years ago, on Lady Berkshire, from
whom you stole it.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Starting.] What do you mean?
LORD GORING. I mean that you stole that
ornament from my cousin,
Mary Berkshire, to whom I gave it when she was married. Suspicion
fell on a
wretched servant, who was sent away in
disgrace. I
recognised it last night. I determined to say nothing about it till
I had found the thief. I have found the thief now, and I have heard
her own
confession.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Tossing her head.] It is not true.
LORD GORING. You know it is true. Why, thief is written across your
face at this moment.
MRS. CHEVELEY. I will deny the whole affair from
beginning to end.
I will say that I have never seen this
wretched thing, that it was
never in my possession.
[MRS. CHEVELEY tries to get the
bracelet off her arm, but fails.
LORD GORING looks on amused. Her thin fingers tear at the jewel to
no purpose. A curse breaks from her.]
LORD GORING. The
drawback of stealing a thing, Mrs. Cheveley, is
that one never knows how wonderful the thing that one steals is. You
can't get that
bracelet off, unless you know where the spring is.
And I see you don't know where the spring is. It is rather difficult
to find.
MRS. CHEVELEY. You brute! You coward! [She tries again to unclasp
the
bracelet, but fails.]
LORD GORING. Oh! don't use big words. They mean so little.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Again tears at the
bracelet in a paroxysm of rage,
with inarticulate sounds. Then stops, and looks at LORD GORING.]
What are you going to do?
LORD GORING. I am going to ring for my servant. He is an
admirableservant. Always comes in the moment one rings for him. When he
comes I will tell him to fetch the police.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Trembling.] The police? What for?
LORD GORING. To-morrow the Berkshires will
prosecute you. That is
what the police are for.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Is now in an agony of
physicalterror. Her face is
distorted. Her mouth awry. A mask has fallen from her. She it, for
the moment,
dreadful to look at.] Don't do that. I will do anything
you want. Anything in the world you want.
LORD GORING. Give me Robert Chiltern's letter.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Stop! Stop! Let me have time to think.
LORD GORING. Give me Robert Chiltern's letter.
MRS. CHEVELEY. I have not got it with me. I will give it to you to-
morrow.
LORD GORING. You know you are lying. Give it to me at once. [MRS.
CHEVELEY pulls the letter out, and hands it to him. She is horribly
pale.] This is it?
MRS. CHEVELEY. [In a
hoarse voice.] Yes.
LORD GORING. [Takes the letter, examines it, sighs, and burns it
with the lamp.] For so well-dressed a woman, Mrs. Cheveley, you have
moments of
admirable common sense. I
congratulate you.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Catches sight of LADY CHILTERN'S letter, the cover
of which is just showing from under the blotting-book.] Please get
me a glass of water.
LORD GORING. Certainly. [Goes to the corner of the room and pours
out a glass of water. While his back is turned MRS. CHEVELEY steals
LADY CHILTERN'S letter. When LORD GORING returns the glass she
refuses it with a gesture.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. Thank you. Will you help me on with my cloak?
LORD GORING. With pleasure. [Puts her cloak on.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. Thanks. I am never going to try to harm Robert
Chiltern again.
LORD GORING. Fortunately you have not the chance, Mrs. Cheveley.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Well, if even I had the chance, I wouldn't. On the
contrary, I am going to render him a great service.
LORD GORING. I am charmed to hear it. It is a reformation.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Yes. I can't bear so
upright a gentleman, so
honourable an English gentleman, being so
shamefully deceived, and so
-
LORD GORING. Well?
MRS. CHEVELEY. I find that somehow Gertrude Chiltern's dying speech
and
confession has strayed into my pocket.
LORD GORING. What do you mean?
MRS. CHEVELEY. [With a bitter note of
triumph in her voice.] I mean
that I am going to send Robert Chiltern the love-letter his wife
wrote to you to-night.
LORD GORING. Love-letter?
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Laughing.] 'I want you. I trust you. I am coming
to you. Gertrude.'
[LORD GORING rushes to the
bureau and takes up the
envelope, finds is
empty, and turns round.]
LORD GORING. You
wretched woman, must you always be thieving? Give
me back that letter. I'll take it from you by force. You shall not
leave my room till I have got it.
[He rushes towards her, but MRS. CHEVELEY at once puts her hand on
the electric bell that is on the table. The bell sounds with shrill
reverberations, and PHIPPS enters.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. [After a pause.] Lord Goring merely rang that you
should show me out. Good-night, Lord Goring!
[Goes out followed by PHIPPS. Her face it illumined with evil
triumph. There is joy in her eyes. Youth seems to have come back to
her. Her last glance is like a swift arrow. LORD GORING bites his
lip, and lights his a cigarette.]
ACT DROPS
FOURTH ACT
SCENE
Same as Act II.
[LORD GORING is
standing by the
fireplace with his hands in his
pockets. He is looking rather bored.]
LORD GORING. [Pulls out his watch, inspects it, and rings the bell.]
It is a great
nuisance. I can't find any one in this house to talk
to. And I am full of interesting information. I feel like the
latest
edition of something or other.
[Enter servant.]
JAMES. Sir Robert is still at the Foreign Office, my lord.
LORD GORING. Lady Chiltern not down yet?
JAMES. Her ladyship has not yet left her room. Miss Chiltern has
just come in from riding.
LORD GORING. [To himself.] Ah! that is something.
JAMES. Lord Caversham has been
waiting some time in the library for
Sir Robert. I told him your
lordship was here.
LORD GORING. Thank you! Would you kindly tell him I've gone?
JAMES. [Bowing.] I shall do so, my lord.
[Exit servant.]
LORD GORING. Really, I don't want to meet my father three days
running. It is a great deal too much
excitement for any son. I hope
to
goodness he won't come up. Fathers should be neither seen nor
heard. That is the only proper basin for family life. Mothers are
different. Mothers are darlings. [Throws himself down into a chair,
picks up a paper and begins to read it.]
[Enter LORD CAVERSHAM.]
LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir, what are you doing here? Wasting your
time as usual, I suppose?
LORD GORING. [Throws down paper and rises.] My dear father, when
one pays a visit it is for the purpose of
wasting other people's
time, not one's own.
LORD CAVERSHAM. Have you been thinking over what I spoke to you
about last night?
LORD GORING. I have been thinking about nothing else.
LORD CAVERSHAM. Engaged to be married yet?
LORD GORING. [Genially.] Not yet: but I hope to be before lunch-
time.