it. In my time, of course, we were taught not to understand
anything. That was the old
system, and
wonderfully interesting it
was. I assure you that the
amount of things I and my poor dear
sister were taught not to understand was quite
extraordinary. But
modem women understand everything, I am told.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Except their husbands. That is the one thing the
modern woman never understands.
LADY MARKBY. And a very good thing too, dear, I dare say. It might
break up many a happy home if they did. Not yours, I need hardly
say, Gertrude. You have married a pattern husband. I wish I could
say as much for myself. But since Sir John has taken to attending
the debates
regularly, which he never used to do in the good old
days, his language has become quite impossible. He always seems to
think that he is addressing the House, and
consequentlywhenever he
discusses the state of the
agricultural labourer, or the Welsh
Church, or something quite
improper of that kind, I am obliged to
send all the servants out of the room. It is not pleasant to see
one's own
butler, who has been with one for twenty-three years,
actually blushing at the side-board, and the footmen making
contortions in corners like persons in circuses. I assure you my
life will be quite ruined unless they send John at once to the Upper
House. He won't take any interest in
politics then, will he? The
House of Lords is so
sensible. An
assembly of gentlemen. But in his
present state, Sir John is really a great trial. Why, this morning
before breakfast was half over, he stood up on the hearthrug, put his
hands in his pockets, and appealed to the country at the top of his
voice. I left the table as soon as I had my second cup of tea, I
need hardly say. But his
violent language could be heard all over
the house! I trust, Gertrude, that Sir Robert is not like that
LADY CHILTERN. But I am very much interested in
politics, Lady
Markby. I love to hear Robert talk about them.
LADY MARKBY. Well, I hope he is not as
devoted to Blue Books as Sir
John is. I don't think they can be quite improving
reading for any
one.
MRS. CHEVELEY [Languidly.] I have never read a Blue Book. I prefer
books . . . in yellow covers.
LADY MARKBY. [Genially unconscious.] Yellow is a gayer colour, is
it not? I used to wear yellow a good deal in my early days, and
would do so now if Sir John was not so
painfully personal in his
observations, and a man on the question of dress is always
ridiculous, is he not?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, no! I think men are the only authorities on
dress.
LADY MARKBY. Really? One wouldn't say so from the sort of hats they
wear? would one?
[The
butler enters, followed by the
footman. Tea is set on a small
table close to LADY CHILTERN.]
LADY CHILTERN. May I give you some tea, Mrs. Cheveley?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Thanks. [The
butler hands MRS. CHEVELEY a cup of tea
on a salver.]
LADY CHILTERN. Some tea, Lady Markby?
LADY MARKBY. No thanks, dear. [The servants go out.] The fact is,
I have promised to go round for ten minutes to see poor Lady
Brancaster, who is in very great trouble. Her daughter, quite a
well-brought-up girl, too, has
actually become engaged to be married
to a curate in Shropshire. It is very sad, very sad indeed. I can't
understand this modern mania for curates. In my time we girls saw
them, of course,
running about the place like rabbits. But we never
took any notice of them, I need hardly say. But I am told that
nowadays country society is quite honeycombed with them. I think it
most irreligious. And then the
eldest son has quarrelled with his
father, and it is said that when they meet at the club Lord
Brancaster always hides himself behind the money article in THE
TIMES. However, I believe that is quite a common
occurrence nowadays
and that they have to take in extra copies of THE TIMES at all the
clubs in St. James's Street; there are so many sons who won't have
anything to do with their fathers, and so many fathers who won't
speak to their sons. I think myself, it is very much to be
regretted.
MRS. CHEVELEY. So do I. Fathers have so much to learn from their
sons nowadays.
LADY MARKBY. Really, dear? What?
MRS. CHEVELEY. The art of living. The only really Fine Art we have
produced in modern times.
LADY MARKBY. [Shaking her head.] Ah! I am afraid Lord Brancaster
knew a good deal about that. More than his poor wife ever did.
[Turning to LADY CHILTERN.] You know Lady Brancaster, don't you,
dear?
LADY CHILTERN. Just
slightly. She was staying at Langton last
autumn, when we were there.
LADY MARKBY. Well, like all stout women, she looks the very picture
of happiness, as no doubt you noticed. But there are many tragedies
in her family, besides this affair of the curate. Her own sister,
Mrs. Jekyll, had a most
unhappy life; through no fault of her own, I
am sorry to say. She
ultimately was so broken-hearted that she went
into a
convent, or on to the operatic stage, I forget which. No; I
think it was
decorative art-needlework she took up. I know she had
lost all sense of pleasure in life. [Rising.] And now, Gertrude, if
you will allow me, I shall leave Mrs. Cheveley in your
charge and
call back for her in a quarter of an hour. Or perhaps, dear Mrs.
Cheveley, you wouldn't mind
waiting in the
carriage while I am with
Lady Brancaster. As I intend it to be a visit of condolence, I
shan't stay long.
MRS. CHEVELEY [Rising.] I don't mind
waiting in the
carriage at all,
provided there is somebody to look at one.
LADY MARKBY. Well, I hear the curate is always prowling about the
house.
MRS. CHEVELEY. I am afraid I am not fond of girl friends.
LADY CHILTERN [Rising.] Oh, I hope Mrs. Cheveley will stay here a
little. I should like to have a few minutes' conversation with her.
MRS. CHEVELEY. How very kind of you, Lady Chiltern! Believe me,
nothing would give me greater pleasure.
LADY MARKBY. Ah! no doubt you both have many pleasant reminiscences
of your schooldays to talk over together. Good-bye, dear Gertrude!
Shall I see you at Lady Bonar's to-night? She has discovered a
wonderful new
genius. He does . . . nothing at all, I believe. That
is a great comfort, is it not?
LADY CHILTERN. Robert and I are dining at home by ourselves to-
night, and I don't think I shall go
anywhere afterwards. Robert, of
course, will have to be in the House. But there is nothing
interesting on.
LADY MARKBY. Dining at home by yourselves? Is that quite prudent?
Ah, I forgot, your husband is an
exception. Mine is the general
rule, and nothing ages a woman so rapidly as having married the
general rule. [Exit LADY MARKBY.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. Wonderful woman, Lady Markby, isn't she? Talks more
and says less than anybody I ever met. She is made to be a public
speaker. Much more so than her husband, though he is a typical
Englishman, always dull and usually
violent.
LADY CHILTERN. [Makes no answer, but remains
standing. There is a
pause. Then the eyes of the two women meet. LADY CHILTERN looks
stern and pale. MRS. CHEVELEY seem rather amused.] Mrs. Cheveley, I
think it is right to tell you quite
frankly that, had I known who you
really were, I should not have invited you to my house last night.
MRS. CHEVELEY [With an impertinent smile.] Really?
LADY CHILTERN. I could not have done so.
MRS. CHEVELEY. I see that after all these years you have not changed
a bit, Gertrude.
LADY CHILTERN. I never change.
MRS. CHEVELEY [Elevating her eyebrows.] Then life has taught you
nothing?
LADY CHILTERN. It has taught me that a person who has once been
guilty of a
dishonest and dishonourable action may be
guilty of it a
second time, and should be shunned.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Would you apply that rule to every one?
LADY CHILTERN. Yes, to every one, without
exception.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Then I am sorry for you, Gertrude, very sorry for
you.
LADY CHILTERN. You see now, I was sure, that for many reasons any
further
acquaintance between us during your stay in London is quite
impossible?
MRS. CHEVELEY [Leaning back in her chair.] Do you know, Gertrude, I
don't mind your talking
morality a bit. Morality is simply the
attitude we adopt towards people whom we
personallydislike. You
dislike me. I am quite aware of that. And I have always detested
you. And yet I have come here to do you a service.
LADY CHILTERN. [Contemptuously.] Like the service you wished to
render my husband last night, I suppose. Thank heaven, I saved him
from that.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Starting to her feet.] It was you who made him
write that
insolent letter to me? It was you who made him break his
promise?
LADY CHILTERN. Yes.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Then you must make him keep it. I give you till to-
morrow morning - no more. If by that time your husband does not
solemnly bind himself to help me in this great
scheme in which I am
interested -
LADY CHILTERN. This fraudulent
speculation -
MRS. CHEVELEY. Call it what you choose. I hold your husband in the
hollow of my hand, and if you are wise you will make him do what I
tell him.
LADY CHILTERN. [Rising and going towards her.] You are impertinent.
What has my husband to do with you? With a woman like you?
MRS. CHEVELEY [With a bitter laugh.] In this world like meets with
like. It is because your husband is himself fraudulent and
dishonestthat we pair so well together. Between you and him there are chasms.
He and I are closer than friends. We are enemies linked together.
The same sin binds us.
LADY CHILTERN. How dare you class my husband with yourself? How
dare you
threaten him or me? Leave my house. You are unfit to enter
it.
[SIR ROBERT CHILTERN enters from behind. He hears his wife's last
words, and sees to whom they are addressed. He grows
deadly pale.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. Your house! A house bought with the price of
dishonour. A house, everything in which has been paid for by fraud.
[Turns round and sees SIR ROBERT CHILTERN.] Ask him what the origin
of his fortune is! Get him to tell you how he sold to a stockbroker
a Cabinet secret. Learn from him to what you owe your position.
LADY CHILTERN. It is not true! Robert! It is not true!
MRS. CHEVELEY. [Pointing at him with
outstretched finger.] Look at
him! Can he deny it? Does he dare to?
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Go! Go at once. You have done your worst now.
MRS. CHEVELEY. My worst? I have not yet finished with you, with
either of you. I give you both till to-morrow at noon. If by then
you don't do what I bid you to do, the whole world shall know the
origin of Robert Chiltern.
[SIR ROBERT CHILTERN strikes the bell. Enter MASON.]
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Show Mrs. Cheveley out.
[MRS. CHEVELEY starts; then bows with somewhat exaggerated politeness
to LADY CHILTERN, who makes no sign of
response. As she passes by
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN, who is
standing close to the door, she pauses
for a moment and looks him straight in the face. She then goes out,
followed by the servant, who closes the door after him. The husband
and wife are left alone. LADY CHILTERN stands like some one in a
dreadful dream. Then she turns round and looks at her husband. She
looks at him with strange eyes, as though she were
seeing him for the
first time.]
LADY CHILTERN. You sold a Cabinet secret for money! You began your
life with fraud! You built up your
career on dishonour! Oh, tell me
it is not true! Lie to me! Lie to me! Tell me it is not true!
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. What this woman said is quite true. But,