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certainly not go away with you.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. What nonsense, Rachel!
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Do you think I would allow my son -

LORD ILLINGWORTH. OUR son.
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My son [LORD ILLINGWORTH shrugs his shoulders] -

to go away with the man who spoiled my youth, who ruined my life,
who has tainted every moment of my days? You don't realise what my

past has been in suffering and in shame.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, I must candidly say that I think

Gerald's future considerably more important than your past.
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald cannot separate his future from my past.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is exactly what he should do. That is
exactly what you should help him to do. What a typical woman you

are! You talk sentimentally, and you are thoroughlyselfish the
whole time. But don't let us have a scene. Rachel, I want you to

look at this matter from the common-sense point of view, from the
point of view of what is best for our son, leaving you and me out

of the question. What is our son at present? An underpaid clerk
in a small Provincial Bank in a third-rate English town. If you

imagine he is quite happy in such a position, you are mistaken. He
is thoroughlydiscontented" target="_blank" title="a.不平的;不满的">discontented.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He was not discontented" target="_blank" title="a.不平的;不满的">discontented till he met you. You have
made him so.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Of course, I made him so. Discontent is the
first step in the progress of a man or a nation. But I did not

leave him with a mere longing for things he could not get. No, I
made him a charming offer. He jumped at it, I need hardly say.

Any young man would. And now, simply because it turns out that I
am the boy's own father and he my own son, you propose practically

to ruin his career. That is to say, if I were a perfect stranger,
you would allow Gerald to go away with me, but as he is my own

flesh and blood you won't. How utterly illogical you are!
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not allow him to go.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. How can you prevent it? What excuse can you
give to him for making him decline such an offer as mine? I won't

tell him in what relations I stand to him, I need hardly say. But
you daren't tell him. You know that. Look how you have brought

him up.
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have brought him up to be a good man.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite so. And what is the result? You have
educated him to be your judge if he ever finds you out. And a

bitter, an unjust judge he will be to you. Don't be deceived,
Rachel. Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they

judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. George, don't take my son away from me. I have

had twenty years of sorrow, and I have only had one thing to love
me, only one thing to love. You have had a life of joy, and

pleasure, and success. You have been quite happy, you have never
thought of us. There was no reason, according to your views of

life, why you should have remembered us at all. Your meeting us
was a mere accident, a horrible accident. Forget it. Don't come

now, and rob me of . . . of all I have in the whole world. You are
so rich in other things. Leave me the little vineyard of my life;

leave me the walled-in garden and the well of water; the ewe-lamb
God sent me, in pity or in wrath, oh! leave me that. George, don't

take Gerald from me.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, at the present moment you are not

necessary to Gerald's career; I am. There is nothing more to be
said on the subject.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not let him go.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Here is Gerald. He has a right to decide for

himself.
[Enter GERALD.]

GERALD. Well, dear mother, I hope you have settled it all with
Lord Illingworth?

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have not, Gerald.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother seems not to like your coming with

me, for some reason.
GERALD. Why, mother?

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I thought you were quite happy here with me,
Gerald. I didn't know you were so anxious to leave me.

GERALD. Mother, how can you talk like that? Of course I have been
quite happy with you. But a man can't stay always with his mother.

No chap does. I want to make myself a position, to do something.
I thought you would have been proud to see me Lord Illingworth's

secretary.
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not think you would be suitable as a private

secretary to Lord Illingworth. You have no qualifications.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don't wish to seem to interfere for a moment,

Mrs. Arbuthnot, but as far as your last objection is concerned, I
surely am the best judge. And I can only tell you that your son

has all the qualifications I had hoped for. He has more, in fact,
than I had even thought of. Far more. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT remains

silent.] Have you any other reason, Mrs. Arbuthnot, why you don't
wish your son to accept this post?

GERALD. Have you, mother? Do answer.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. If you have, Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray, pray say it.

We are quite by ourselves here. Whatever it is, I need not say I
will not repeat it.

GERALD. Mother?
LORD ILLINGWORTH. If you would like to be alone with your son, I

will leave you. You may have some other reason you don't wish me
to hear.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have no other reason.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then, my dear boy, we may look on the thing as

settled. Come, you and I will smoke a cigarette on the terrace
together. And Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray let me tell you, that I think

you have acted very, very wisely.
[Exit with GERALD. MRS. ARBUTHNOT is left alone. She stands

immobile with a look of unutterable sorrow on her face.]
ACT DROP

THIRD ACT
SCENE

The Picture Gallery at Hunstanton. Door at back leading on to
terrace.

[LORD ILLINGWORTH and GERALD, R.C. LORD ILLINGWORTH lolling on a
sofa. GERALD in a chair.]

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Thoroughly sensible woman, your mother, Gerald.
I knew she would come round in the end.

GERALD. My mother is awfullyconscientious, Lord Illingworth, and
I know she doesn't think I am educated enough to be your secretary.

She is perfectly right, too. I was fearfully idle when I was at
school, and I couldn't pass an examination now to save my life.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Gerald, examinations are of no value
whatsoever. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if

he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.
GERALD. But I am so ignorant of the world, Lord Illingworth.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Don't be afraid, Gerald. Remember that you've
got on your side the most wonderful thing in the world - youth!

There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to
Life. The old are in life's lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of

Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for it. Every one is born a
king, and most people die in exile, like most kings. To win back

my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn't do - except take
exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.

GERALD. But you don't call yourself old, Lord Illingworth?
LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am old enough to be your father, Gerald.

GERALD. I don't remember my father; he died years ago.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. So Lady Hunstanton told me.

GERALD. It is very curious, my mother never talks to me about my
father. I sometimes think she must have married beneath her.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Winces slightly.] Really? [Goes over and puts
his hand on GERALD'S shoulder.] You have missed not having a

father, I suppose, Gerald?
GERALD. Oh, no; my mother has been so good to me. No one ever had

such a mother as I have had.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am quite sure of that. Still I should imagine

that most mothers don't quite understand their sons. Don't
realise, I mean, that a son has ambitions, a desire to see life, to

make himself a name. After all, Gerald, you couldn't be expected
to pass all your life in such a hole as Wrockley, could you?

GERALD. Oh, no! It would be dreadful!
LORD ILLINGWORTH. A mother's love is very touching, of course, but

it is often curiouslyselfish. I mean, there is a good deal of
selfishness in it.

GERALD. [Slowly.] I suppose there is.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother is a thoroughly good woman. But

good women have such limited views of life, their horizon is so
small, their interests are so petty, aren't they?

GERALD. They are awfully interested, certainly, in things we don't
care much about.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose your mother is very religious, and
that sort of thing.

GERALD. Oh, yes, she's always going to church.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Ah! she is not modern, and to be modern is the

only thing worth being nowadays. You want to be modern, don't you,
Gerald? You want to know life as it really is. Not to be put of

with any old-fashioned theories about life. Well, what you have to
do at present is simply to fit yourself for the best society. A

man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.
The future belongs to the dandy. It is the exquisites who are

going to rule.
GERALD. I should like to wear nice things awfully, but I have

always been told that a man should not think too much about his
clothes.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. People nowadays are so absolutelysuperficial
that they don't understand the philosophy of the superficial. By

the way, Gerald, you should learn how to tie your tie better.
Sentiment is all very well for the button-hole. But the essential

thing for a necktie is style. A well-tied tie is the first serious
step in life.

GERALD. [Laughing.] I might be able to learn how to tie a tie,
Lord Illingworth, but I should never be able to talk as you do. I

don't know how to talk.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh! talk to every woman as if you loved her, and

to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first
season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect

social tact.
GERALD. But it is very difficult to get into society isn't it?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. To get into the best society, nowadays, one has
either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people - that is all!

GERALD. I suppose society is wonderfully delightful!
LORD ILLINGWORTH. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of

it simply a tragedy. Society is a necessary thing. No man has any
real success in this world unless he has got women to back him, and

women rule society. If you have not got women on your side you are
quite over. You might just as well be a barrister, or a

stockbroker, or a journalist at once.
GERALD. It is very difficult to understand women, is it not?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. You should never try to understand them. Women
are pictures. Men are problems. If you want to know what a woman

really means - which, by the way, is always a dangerous thing to do
- look at her, don't listen to her.

GERALD. But women are awfully clever, aren't they?
LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always tell them so. But, to the

philosopher, my dear Gerald, women represent the triumph of matter
over mind - just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

GERALD. How then can women have so much power as you say they
have?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. The history of women is the history of the worst
form of tyranny the world has ever known. The tyranny of the weak



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