A Woman of No Importance
by Oscar Wilde
THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY
Lord Illingworth
Sir John Pontefract
Lord Alfred Rufford
Mr. Kelvil, M.P.
The Ven. Archdeacon Daubeny, D.D.
Gerald Arbuthnot
Farquhar, Butler
Francis, Footman
Lady Hunstanton
Lady Caroline Pontefract
Lady Stutfield
Mrs. Allonby
Miss Hester Worsley
Alice, Maid
Mrs. Arbuthnot
THE SCENES OF THE PLAY
ACT I. The Terrace at Hunstanton Chase.
ACT II. The Drawing-room at Hunstanton Chase.
ACT III. The Hall at Hunstanton Chase.
ACT IV. Sitting-room in Mrs. Arbuthnot's House at Wrockley.
TIME: The Present.
PLACE: The Shires.
The action of the play takes place within twenty-four hours.
LONDON: HAYMARKET THEATRE
Lessee and Manager: Mr. H Beerbohm Tree
April 19th, 1893
Lord Illingworth, Mr. Tree
Sir John Pontefract, Mr. E. Holman Clark
Lord Alfred Rufford, Mr. Ernest Lawford
Mr. Kelvil, M.P., Mr. Charles Allan.
The Ven. Archdeacon Daubeny, D.D., Mr. Kemble
Gerald Arbuthnot, Mr. Terry
Farquhar, Butler, Mr. Hay
Francis, Footman, Mr. Montague
Lady Hunstanton, Miss Rose Leclercq
Lady Caroline Pontefract, Miss Le Thiere
Lady Stutfield, Miss Blanche Horlock
Mrs. Allonby, Mrs. Tree
Miss Hester Worsley, Miss Julia Neilson
Alice, Maid, Miss Kelly
Mrs. Arbuthnot, Mrs. Bernard-Beere
FIRST ACT
SCENE
Lawn in front of the
terrace at Hunstanton.
[SIR JOHN and LADY CAROLINE PONTEFRACT, MISS WORSLEY, on chairs
under large yew tree.]
LADY CAROLINE. I believe this is the first English country house
you have stayed at, Miss Worsley?
HESTER. Yes, Lady Caroline.
LADY CAROLINE. You have no country houses, I am told, in America?
HESTER. We have not many.
LADY CAROLINE. Have you any country? What we should call country?
HESTER. [Smiling.] We have the largest country in the world, Lady
Caroline. They used to tell us at school that some of our states
are as big as France and England put together.
LADY CAROLINE. Ah! you must find it very draughty, I should fancy.
[To SIR JOHN.] John, you should have your muffler. What is the
use of my always
knitting mufflers for you if you won't wear them?
SIR JOHN. I am quite warm, Caroline, I assure you.
LADY CAROLINE. I think not, John. Well, you couldn't come to a
more
charming place than this, Miss Worsley, though the house is
excessively damp, quite unpardonably damp, and dear Lady Hunstanton
is sometimes a little lax about the people she asks down here. [To
SIR JOHN.] Jane mixes too much. Lord Illingworth, of course, is a
man of high
distinction. It is a
privilege to meet him. And that
member of Parliament, Mr. Kettle -
SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil.
LADY CAROLINE. He must be quite
respectable. One has never heard
his name before in the whole course of one's life, which speaks
volumes for a man, nowadays. But Mrs. Allonby is hardly a very
suitable person.
HESTER. I
dislike Mrs. Allonby. I
dislike her more than I can
say.
LADY CAROLINE. I am not sure, Miss Worsley, that foreigners like
yourself should
cultivate likes or
dislikes about the people they
are invited to meet. Mrs. Allonby is very well born. She is a
niece of Lord Brancaster's. It is said, of course, that she ran
away twice before she was married. But you know how
unfair people
often are. I myself don't believe she ran away more than once.
HESTER. Mr. Arbuthnot is very
charming.
LADY CAROLINE. Ah, yes! the young man who has a post in a bank.
Lady Hunstanton is most kind in asking him here, and Lord
Illingworth seems to have taken quite a fancy to him. I am not
sure, however, that Jane is right in
taking him out of his
position. In my young days, Miss Worsley, one never met any one in
society who worked for their living. It was not considered the
thing.
HESTER. In America those are the people we respect most.
LADY CAROLINE. I have no doubt of it.
HESTER. Mr. Arbuthnot has a beautiful nature! He is so simple, so
sincere. He has one of the most beautiful natures I have ever come
across. It is a
privilege to meet HIM.
LADY CAROLINE. It is not
customary in England, Miss Worsley, for a
young lady to speak with such
enthusiasm of any person of the
opposite sex. English women
conceal their feelings till after they
are married. They show them then.
HESTER. Do you, in England, allow no friendship to exist between a
young man and a young girl?
[Enter LADY HUNSTANTON, followed by Footman with shawls and a
cushion.]
LADY CAROLINE. We think it very inadvisable. Jane, I was just
saying what a pleasant party you have asked us to meet. You have a
wonderful power of
selection. It is quite a gift.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Dear Caroline, how kind of you! I think we all
do fit in very
nicely together. And I hope our
charming American
visitor will carry back pleasant recollections of our English
country life. [To Footman.] The
cushion, there, Francis. And my
shawl. The Shetland. Get the Shetland. [Exit Footman for shawl.]
[Enter GERALD ARBUTHNOT.]
GERALD. Lady Hunstanton, I have such good news to tell you. Lord
Illingworth has just offered to make me his secretary.
LADY HUNSTANTON. His secretary? That is good news indeed, Gerald.
It means a very
brilliant future in store for you. Your dear
mother will be
delighted. I really must try and induce her to come
up here to-night. Do you think she would, Gerald? I know how
difficult it is to get her to go anywhere.
GERALD. Oh! I am sure she would, Lady Hunstanton, if she knew
Lord Illingworth had made me such an offer.
[Enter Footman with shawl.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. I will write and tell her about it, and ask her
to come up and meet him. [To Footman.] Just wait, Francis.
[Writes letter.]
LADY CAROLINE. That is a very wonderful
opening for so young a man
as you are, Mr. Arbuthnot.
GERALD. It is indeed, Lady Caroline. I trust I shall be able to
show myself
worthy of it.
LADY CAROLINE. I trust so.
GERALD. [To HESTER.] YOU have not congratulated me yet, Miss
Worsley.
HESTER. Are you very pleased about it?
GERALD. Of course I am. It means everything to me - things that
were out of the reach of hope before may be within hope's reach
now.
HESTER. Nothing should be out of the reach of hope. Life is a
hope.
LADY HUNSTANTON. I fancy, Caroline, that Diplomacy is what Lord
Illingworth is aiming at. I heard that he was offered Vienna. But
that may not be true.
LADY CAROLINE. I don't think that England should be represented
abroad by an
unmarried man, Jane. It might lead to complications.
LADY HUNSTANTON. You are too
nervous, Caroline. Believe me, you
are too
nervous. Besides, Lord Illingworth may marry any day. I
was in hopes he would have married lady Kelso. But I believe he
said her family was too large. Or was it her feet? I forget
which. I regret it very much. She was made to be an ambassador's
wife.
LADY CAROLINE. She certainly has a wonderful
faculty of
remembering people's names, and forgetting their faces.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, that is very natural, Caroline, is it not?
[To Footman.] Tell Henry to wait for an answer. I have written a
line to your dear mother, Gerald, to tell her your good news, and
to say she really must come to dinner.
[Exit Footman.]
GERALD. That is
awfully kind of you, Lady Hunstanton. [To
HESTER.] Will you come for a
stroll, Miss Worsley?
HESTER. With pleasure [Exit with GERALD.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. I am very much gratified at Gerald Arbuthnot's
good fortune. He is quite a PROTEGE of mine. And I am
particularly pleased that Lord Illingworth should have made the
offer of his own
accord without my suggesting anything. Nobody
likes to be asked favours. I remember poor Charlotte Pagden making
herself quite
unpopular one season, because she had a French
governess she wanted to
recommend to every one.
LADY CAROLINE. I saw the
governess, Jane. Lady Pagden sent her to
me. It was before Eleanor came out. She was far too good-looking
to be in any
respectable household. I don't wonder Lady Pagden was
so
anxious to get rid of her.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, that explains it.
LADY CAROLINE. John, the grass is too damp for you. You had
better go and put on your overshoes at once.
SIR JOHN. I am quite comfortable, Caroline, I assure you.
LADY CAROLINE. You must allow me to be the best judge of that,
John. Pray do as I tell you.
[SIR JOHN gets up and goes off.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. You spoil him, Caroline, you do indeed!
[Enter MRS. ALLONBY and LADY STUTFIELD.]
[To MRS. ALLONBY.] Well, dear, I hope you like the park. It is
said to be well timbered.
MRS. ALLONBY. The trees are wonderful, Lady Hunstanton.
LADY STUTFIELD. Quite, quite wonderful.
MRS. ALLONBY. But somehow, I feel sure that if I lived in the
country for six months, I should become so unsophisticated that no
one would take the slightest notice of me.
LADY HUNSTANTON. I assure you, dear, that the country has not that
effect at all. Why, it was from Melthorpe, which is only two miles
from here, that Lady Belton eloped with Lord Fethersdale. I
remember the
occurrenceperfectly. Poor Lord Belton died three
days afterwards of joy, or gout. I forget which. We had a large
party staying here at the time, so we were all very much interested
in the whole affair.
MRS. ALLONBY. I think to elope is
cowardly. It's
running away
from danger. And danger has become so rare in modern life.
LADY CAROLINE. As far as I can make out, the young women of the
present day seem to make it the sole object of their lives to be
always playing with fire.
MRS. ALLONBY. The one
advantage of playing with fire, Lady
Caroline, is that one never gets even singed. It is the people who
don't know how to play with it who get burned up.