straight along the
horizon. Somewhere very far off, a horn was
being blown, clear and thin; it sounded like the golden streak
grown
audible, while the gold seemed the
visible sound. It
pricked my ebbing courage, this blended
strain of music and
colour, and I turned for a last effort; and Fortune
thereupon, as
if half-ashamed of the
unworthy game she had been playing with
me, relented,
opening her clenched fist. Hardly had I put my
hand once more to the obdurate wood, when with a sort of
small sigh, almost a sob--as it were--of
relief, the secret
drawersprang open.
I drew it out and carried it to the window, to examine it in the
failing light. Too
hopeless had I gradually grown, in my
dispiriting search, to expect very much; and yet at a glance I
saw that my basket of glass lay in fragments at my feet. No
ingots or dollars were here, to crown me the little Monte Cristo
of a week. Outside, the distant horn had ceased its gnat-song,
the gold was paling to
primrose, and everything was
lonely and
still. Within, my
confident little castles were tumbling down
like card-houses, leaving me stripped of
estate, both real and
personal, and dominated by the depressing reaction.
And yet,--as I looked again at the small
collection that lay
within that
drawer of disillusions, some
warmth crept back to my
heart as I recognised that a
kindred spirit to my own had been at
the making of it. Two tarnished gilt buttons,--naval,
apparently,--a
portrait of a
monarch unknown to me, cut from some
antique print and
deftly coloured by hand in just my own bold
style of brush-work,--some foreign
copper coins, thicker and
clumsier of make than those I hoarded myself,--and a list of
birds' eggs, with names of the places where they had been found.
Also, a ferret's
muzzle, and a twist of tarry string, still
faintly
aromatic. It was a real boy's hoard, then, that I had
happened upon. He too had found out the secret
drawer, this
happy starred young person; and here he had stowed away his
treasures, one by one, and had cherished them
secretly awhile;
and then--what? Well, one would never know now the reason why
these
priceless possessions still lay here unreclaimed; but
across the void stretch of years I seemed to touch hands a moment
with my little comrade of seasons long since dead.
I restored the
drawer, with its
contents, to the
trusty bureau,
and heard the spring click with a certain
satisfaction. Some
other boy, perhaps, would some day
release that spring again. I
trusted he would be
equallyappreciative. As I opened the door
to go, I could hear from the
nursery at the end of the passage
shouts and yells, telling that the hunt was up. Bears,
apparently, or bandits, were on the evening bill of fare, judging
by the
character of the noises. In another minute I would be in
the thick of it, in all the
warmth and light and laughter.
And yet--what a long way off it all seemed, both in space and
time, to me yet lingering on the
threshold of that old-world
chamber!
"EXIT TYRANNUS"
The eventful day had arrived at last, the day which, when first
named, had seemed--like all golden dates that promise anything
definite--so immeasurably
remote. When it was first announced, a
fortnight before, that Miss Smedley was really going, the
resultant ecstasies had occupied a full week, during which we
blindly revelled in the
contemplation and
discussion of her past
tyrannies, crimes, malignities; in recalling to each other this
or that
insult, dishonour, or
physicalassault,
sullenly endured
at a time when
deliverance was not even a small star on the
horizon; and in mapping out the golden days to come, with special
new troubles of their own, no doubt, since this is but a work-a-
day world, but at least free from one familiar
scourge. The time
that remained had been taken up by the planning of practical
expressions of the popular
sentiment. Under Edward's masterly
direction, arrangements had been made for a flag to be run
up over the hen-house at the very moment when the fly, with Miss
Smedley's boxes on top and the grim oppressor herself inside,
began to move off down the drive. Three brass cannons, set on
the brow of the sunk-fence, were to
proclaim our deathless
sentiments in the ears of the retreating foe: the dogs were to
wear ribbons, and later--but this depended on our powers of
evasiveness and dissimulation--there might be a small bonfire,
with a
cracker or two, if the public funds could bear the
unwonted
strain.
I was awakened by Harold digging me in the ribs, and "She's going
to-day!" was the morning hymn that scattered the clouds of sleep.
Strange to say, it was with no
corresponding jubilation of
spirits that I slowly realised the momentous fact. Indeed, as I
dressed, a dull
disagreeable feeling that I could not
define grew
within me--something like a
physicalbruise. Harold was
evidently feeling it too, for after repeating "She's going to-
day!" in a tone more befitting the Litany, he looked hard in my
face for direction as to how the situation was to be taken. But
I crossly bade him look sharp and say his prayers and not
bother me. What could this gloom portend, that on a day of days
like the present seemed to hang my heavens with black?
Down at last and out in the sun, we found Edward before us,
swinging on a gate, and chanting a farm-yard ditty in which all
the beasts appear in due order, jargoning in their several
tongues, and every verse begins with the couplet--
"Now, my lads, come with me,
Out in the morning early!"
The fateful exodus of the day had
evidently slipped his memory
entirely. I touched him on the shoulder. "She's going to-day!"
I said. Edward's carol subsided like a water-tap turned off.
"So she is!" he replied, and got down at once off the gate: and
we returned to the house without another word.
At breakfast Miss Smedley behaved in a most mean and uncalled-for
manner. The right
divine of
governesses to
govern wrong includes
no right to cry. In thus usurping the
prerogative of their
victims, they
ignore the rules of the ring, and hit below
the belt. Charlotte was crying, of course; but that counted for
nothing. Charlotte even cried when the pigs' noses were ringed
in due season;
thereby evoking the
cheerycontempt of the
operators, who asserted they liked it, and
doubtless knew. But
when the cloud-compeller, her bolts laid aside, resorted to
tears, mutinous
humanity had a right to feel aggrieved, and
placed in a false and difficult position. What would the Romans
have done, supposing Hannibal had cried? History has not even
considered the
possibility. Rules and precedents should be
strictly observed on both sides; when they are violated, the
other party is justified in feeling injured.
There were no lessons that morning, naturally--another grievance!
The
fitness of things required that we should have struggled to
the last in a confused medley of moods and tenses, and parted for
ever, flushed with
hatred, over the dismembered
corpse of the
multiplication table. But this thing was not to be; and I was
free to
stroll by myself through the garden, and
combat, as best
I might, this growing feeling of
depression. It was a wrong
system
altogether, I thought, this going of people one had
got used to. Things ought always to continue as they had been.
Change there must be, of course; pigs, for
instance, came and
went with disturbing frequency--
"Fired their ringing shot and passed,
Hotly charged and sank at last,"--
but Nature had ordered it so, and in requital had provided for
rapid successors. Did you come to love a pig, and he was taken
from you, grief was quickly assuaged in the delight of selection
from the new
litter. But now, when it was no question of a
peerless pig, but only of a
governess, Nature seemed helpless,
and the future held no
litter of
oblivion. Things might be
better, or they might be worse, but they would never be the same;
and the innate conservatism of youth asks neither
poverty nor