章节正文
But I was not destined, as it happened, to converse with her for more
than an instant on either of these points. I sent her no message;
I simply went down to the sala and walked to and fro there.
I knew she would come out; she would very soon discover I was there.
Somehow I preferred not to be shut up with her; gardens and big
halls seemed better places to talk. It was a splendid morning,
with something in the air that told of the waning of the long
Venetian summer; a freshness from the sea which stirred the
flowers in the garden and made a pleasant draught in the house,
less shuttered and darkened now than when the old woman was alive.
It was the beginning of autumn, of the end of the golden months.
With this it was the end of my experiment--or would be in the course
of half an hour, when I should really have learned that the papers
had been reduced to ashes. After that there would be nothing left
for me but to go to the station; for seriously (and as it struck me
in the morning light) I could not linger there to act as guardian
to a piece of middle-agedfemalehelplessness. If she had not saved
the papers wherein should I be indebted to her? I think I winced
a little as I asked myself how much, if she HAD saved them,
I should have to recognize and, as it were, to reward such a courtesy.
Might not that circumstance after all saddle me with a guardianship?
If this idea did not make me more uncomfortable as I walked up
and down it was because I was convinced I had nothing to look to.
If the old woman had not destroyed everything before she pounced
upon me in the parlor she had done so afterward.
It took Miss Tita rather longer than I had expected to guess that I was there;
but when at last she came out she looked at me without surprise.
I said to her that I had been waiting for her, and she asked why I had not let
her know. I was glad the next day that I had checked myself before remarking
that I had wished to see if a friendly intuition would not tell her:
it became a satisfaction to me that I had not indulged in that rather
tender joke. What I did say was virtually the truth--that I was too nervous,
since I expected her now to settle my fate.
"Your fate?" said Miss Tita, giving me a queer look;
and as she spoke I noticed a rare change in her.
She was different from what she had been the evening before--
less natural, less quiet. She had been crying the day before and
she was not crying now, and yet she struck me as less confident.
It was as if something had happened to her during the night,
or at least as if she had thought of something that troubled her--
something in particular that affected her relations
with me, made them more embarrassing and complicated.
Had she simply perceived that her aunt's not being there now
altered my position?
"I mean about our papers. ARE there any? You must know now."
"Yes, there are a great many; more than I supposed."
I was struck with the way her voice trembled as she told me this.
"Do you mean that you have got them in there--and that I may see them?"
"I don't think you can see them," said Miss Tita with an extraordinary
expression of entreaty in her eyes, as if the dearest hope she had in the
world now was that I would not take them from her. But how could she expect
me to make such a sacrifice as that after all that had passed between us?
What had I come back to Venice for but to see them, to take them?
My delight in learning they were still in existence was such that
if the poor woman had gone down on her knees to beseech me never to
mention them again I would have treated the proceeding as a bad joke.
"I have got them but I can't show them," she added.
"Not even to me? Ah, Miss Tita!" I groaned, with a voice of infinite
remonstrance and reproach.
She colored, and the tears came back to her eyes;
I saw that it cost her a kind of anguish to take such a stand
but that a dreadful sense of duty had descended upon her.
It made me quite sick to find myself confronted with that
particular obstacle; all the more that it appeared to me I
had been extremely encouraged to leave it out of account.
I almost considered that Miss Tita had assured me that if she
had no greater hindrance than that--! "You don't mean to say
you made her a deathbed promise? It was precisely against
your doing anything of that sort that I thought I was safe.
Oh, I would rather she had burned the papers outright than that!"
"No, it isn't a promise," said Miss Tita.
"Pray what is it then?"
She hesitated and then she said, "She tried to burn them, but I prevented it.
She had hid them in her bed."
"In her bed?"
"Between the mattresses. That's where she put them when she
took them out of the trunk. I can't understand how she did it,
because Olimpia didn't help her. She tells me so, and I believe her.
My aunt only told her afterward, so that she shouldn't touch
the bed--anything but the sheets. So it was badly made,"
added Miss Tita simply.
"I should think so! And how did she try to burn them?"
"She didn't try much; she was too weak, those last days.
But she told me--she charged me. Oh, it was terrible!
She couldn't speak after that night; she could only make signs."
"And what did you do?"
"I took them away. I locked them up."
"In the secretary?"
"Yes, in the secretary," said Miss Tita, reddening again.
"Did you tell her you would burn them?"
"No, I didn't--on purpose."
"On purpose to gratify me?"
"Yes, only for that."
"And what good will you have done me if after all you won't show them?"
"Oh, none; I know that--I know that."
"And did she believe you had destroyed them?"
"I don't know what she believed at the last. I couldn't tell--
she was too far gone."
"Then if there was no promise and no assurance I can't see what ties you."
"Oh, she hated it so--she hated it so! She was so jealous.
But here's the portrait--you may have that," Miss Tita announced,
taking the little picture, wrapped up in the same manner
in which her aunt had wrapped it, out of her pocket.
"I may have it--do you mean you give it to me?"
I questioned, staring, as it passed into my hand.
"Oh, yes."
"But it's worth money--a large sum."
"Well!" said Miss Tita, still with her strange look.
I did not know what to make of it, for it could scarcely mean that she wanted
to bargain like her aunt. She spoke as if she wished to make me a present.
"I can't take it from you as a gift," I said, "and yet I can't afford
to pay you for it according to the ideas Miss Bordereau had of its value.
She rated it at a thousand pounds."
"Couldn't we sell it?" asked Miss Tita.
"God forbid! I prefer the picture to the money."
"Well then keep it."
"You are very generous."
"So are you."
"I don't know why you should think so," I replied; and this
was a truthful speech, for the singular creature appeared
to have some very fine reference in her mind, which I did
not in the least seize.
"Well, you have made a great difference for me," said Miss Tita.
I looked at Jeffrey Aspern's face in the little picture,
partly in order not to look at that of my interlocutress,
which had begun to trouble me, even to frighten me a little--
it was so self-conscious, so unnatural. I made no answer to this
last declaration; I only privately consulted Jeffrey Aspern's
delightful eyes with my own (they were so young and brilliant,
and yet so wise, so full of vision); I asked him what on earth
was the matter with Miss Tita. He seemed to smile at me
with friendly mockery, as if he were amused at my case.
I had got into a pickle for him--as if he needed it!
He was unsatisfactory, for the only moment since I had
known him. Nevertheless, now that I held the little picture
in my hand I felt that it would be a precious possession.
"Is this a bribe to make me give up the papers?"
I demanded in a moment, perversely. "Much as I value it,
if I were to be obliged to choose, the papers are what I
should prefer. Ah, but ever so much!"
"How can you choose--how can you choose?" Miss Tita
asked, slowly, lamentably.
"I see! Of course there is nothing to be said, if you regard
the interdiction that rests upon you as quite insurmountable.
In this case it must seem to you that to part with them would
be an impiety of the worst kind, a simple sacrilege!"
Miss Tita shook her head, full of her dolefulness. "You would understand
if you had known her. I'm afraid," she quavered suddenly--"I'm afraid!
She was terrible when she was angry."
"Yes, I saw something of that, that night. She was terrible.
Then I saw her eyes. Lord, they were fine!"
"I see them--they stare at me in the dark!" said Miss Tita.
"You are nervous, with all you have been through."
"Oh, yes, very--very!"
"You mustn't mind; that will pass away," I said, kindly.
Then I added, resignedly, for it really seemed to me that I must
accept the situation, "Well, so it is, and it can't be helped.
I must renounce." Miss Tita, at this, looking at me, gave a low,
soft moan, and I went on: "I only wish to heaven she had
destroyed them; then there would be nothing more to say.
And I can't understand why, with her ideas, she didn't."
"Oh, she lived on them!" said Miss Tita.
"You can imagine whether that makes me want less to see them,"
I answered, smiling. "But don't let me stand here as if I
had it in my soul to tempt you to do anything base.
Naturally you will understand if I give up my rooms.
I leave Venice immediately." And I took up my hat, which I
had placed on a chair. We were still there rather awkwardly,
on our feet, in the middle of the sala. She had left
the door of the apartments open behind her but she had not led
me that way.
A kind of spasm came into her face as she saw me take my hat.
"Immediately--do you mean today?" The tone of the words was tragical--
they were a cry of desolation.
"Oh, no; not so long as I can be of the least service to you."
"Well, just a day or two more--just two or three days," she panted.
Then controlling herself, she added in another manner, "She wanted
to say something to me--the last day--something very particular,
but she couldn't."
"Something very particular?"
"Something more about the papers."
"And did you guess--have you any idea?"
"No, I have thought--but I don't know. I have thought all kinds of things."
"And for instance?"
"Well, that if you were a relation it would be different."
"If I were a relation?"
"If you were not a stranger. Then it would be the same for you as for me.
Anything that is mine--would be yours, and you could do what you like.
I couldn't prevent you--and you would have no responsibility."
She brought out this droll explanation with a little nervous rush,
as if she were speaking words she had got by heart. They gave
me an impression of subtlety and at first I failed to follow.
But after a moment her face helped me to see further,
and then a light came into my mind. It was embarrassing,
and I bent my head over Jeffrey Aspern's portrait.
What an odd expression was in his face! "Get out of it as
you can, my dear fellow!" I put the picture into the pocket
of my coat and said to Miss Tita, "Yes, I'll sell it for you.
I shan't get a thousand pounds by any means, but I shall
get something good."
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, but she seemed to try to smile
than an instant on either of these points. I sent her no message;
I simply went down to the sala and walked to and fro there.
I knew she would come out; she would very soon discover I was there.
Somehow I preferred not to be shut up with her; gardens and big
halls seemed better places to talk. It was a splendid morning,
with something in the air that told of the waning of the long
Venetian summer; a freshness from the sea which stirred the
flowers in the garden and made a pleasant draught in the house,
less shuttered and darkened now than when the old woman was alive.
It was the beginning of autumn, of the end of the golden months.
With this it was the end of my experiment--or would be in the course
of half an hour, when I should really have learned that the papers
had been reduced to ashes. After that there would be nothing left
for me but to go to the station; for seriously (and as it struck me
in the morning light) I could not linger there to act as guardian
to a piece of middle-agedfemalehelplessness. If she had not saved
the papers wherein should I be indebted to her? I think I winced
a little as I asked myself how much, if she HAD saved them,
I should have to recognize and, as it were, to reward such a courtesy.
Might not that circumstance after all saddle me with a guardianship?
If this idea did not make me more uncomfortable as I walked up
and down it was because I was convinced I had nothing to look to.
If the old woman had not destroyed everything before she pounced
upon me in the parlor she had done so afterward.
It took Miss Tita rather longer than I had expected to guess that I was there;
but when at last she came out she looked at me without surprise.
I said to her that I had been waiting for her, and she asked why I had not let
her know. I was glad the next day that I had checked myself before remarking
that I had wished to see if a friendly intuition would not tell her:
it became a satisfaction to me that I had not indulged in that rather
tender joke. What I did say was virtually the truth--that I was too nervous,
since I expected her now to settle my fate.
"Your fate?" said Miss Tita, giving me a queer look;
and as she spoke I noticed a rare change in her.
She was different from what she had been the evening before--
less natural, less quiet. She had been crying the day before and
she was not crying now, and yet she struck me as less confident.
It was as if something had happened to her during the night,
or at least as if she had thought of something that troubled her--
something in particular that affected her relations
with me, made them more embarrassing and complicated.
Had she simply perceived that her aunt's not being there now
altered my position?
"I mean about our papers. ARE there any? You must know now."
"Yes, there are a great many; more than I supposed."
I was struck with the way her voice trembled as she told me this.
"Do you mean that you have got them in there--and that I may see them?"
"I don't think you can see them," said Miss Tita with an extraordinary
expression of entreaty in her eyes, as if the dearest hope she had in the
world now was that I would not take them from her. But how could she expect
me to make such a sacrifice as that after all that had passed between us?
What had I come back to Venice for but to see them, to take them?
My delight in learning they were still in existence was such that
if the poor woman had gone down on her knees to beseech me never to
mention them again I would have treated the proceeding as a bad joke.
"I have got them but I can't show them," she added.
"Not even to me? Ah, Miss Tita!" I groaned, with a voice of infinite
remonstrance and reproach.
She colored, and the tears came back to her eyes;
I saw that it cost her a kind of anguish to take such a stand
but that a dreadful sense of duty had descended upon her.
It made me quite sick to find myself confronted with that
particular obstacle; all the more that it appeared to me I
had been extremely encouraged to leave it out of account.
I almost considered that Miss Tita had assured me that if she
had no greater hindrance than that--! "You don't mean to say
you made her a deathbed promise? It was precisely against
your doing anything of that sort that I thought I was safe.
Oh, I would rather she had burned the papers outright than that!"
"No, it isn't a promise," said Miss Tita.
"Pray what is it then?"
She hesitated and then she said, "She tried to burn them, but I prevented it.
She had hid them in her bed."
"In her bed?"
"Between the mattresses. That's where she put them when she
took them out of the trunk. I can't understand how she did it,
because Olimpia didn't help her. She tells me so, and I believe her.
My aunt only told her afterward, so that she shouldn't touch
the bed--anything but the sheets. So it was badly made,"
added Miss Tita simply.
"I should think so! And how did she try to burn them?"
"She didn't try much; she was too weak, those last days.
But she told me--she charged me. Oh, it was terrible!
She couldn't speak after that night; she could only make signs."
"And what did you do?"
"I took them away. I locked them up."
"In the secretary?"
"Yes, in the secretary," said Miss Tita, reddening again.
"Did you tell her you would burn them?"
"No, I didn't--on purpose."
"On purpose to gratify me?"
"Yes, only for that."
"And what good will you have done me if after all you won't show them?"
"Oh, none; I know that--I know that."
"And did she believe you had destroyed them?"
"I don't know what she believed at the last. I couldn't tell--
she was too far gone."
"Then if there was no promise and no assurance I can't see what ties you."
"Oh, she hated it so--she hated it so! She was so jealous.
But here's the portrait--you may have that," Miss Tita announced,
taking the little picture, wrapped up in the same manner
in which her aunt had wrapped it, out of her pocket.
"I may have it--do you mean you give it to me?"
I questioned, staring, as it passed into my hand.
"Oh, yes."
"But it's worth money--a large sum."
"Well!" said Miss Tita, still with her strange look.
I did not know what to make of it, for it could scarcely mean that she wanted
to bargain like her aunt. She spoke as if she wished to make me a present.
"I can't take it from you as a gift," I said, "and yet I can't afford
to pay you for it according to the ideas Miss Bordereau had of its value.
She rated it at a thousand pounds."
"Couldn't we sell it?" asked Miss Tita.
"God forbid! I prefer the picture to the money."
"Well then keep it."
"You are very generous."
"So are you."
"I don't know why you should think so," I replied; and this
was a truthful speech, for the singular creature appeared
to have some very fine reference in her mind, which I did
not in the least seize.
"Well, you have made a great difference for me," said Miss Tita.
I looked at Jeffrey Aspern's face in the little picture,
partly in order not to look at that of my interlocutress,
which had begun to trouble me, even to frighten me a little--
it was so self-conscious, so unnatural. I made no answer to this
last declaration; I only privately consulted Jeffrey Aspern's
delightful eyes with my own (they were so young and brilliant,
and yet so wise, so full of vision); I asked him what on earth
was the matter with Miss Tita. He seemed to smile at me
with friendly mockery, as if he were amused at my case.
I had got into a pickle for him--as if he needed it!
He was unsatisfactory, for the only moment since I had
known him. Nevertheless, now that I held the little picture
in my hand I felt that it would be a precious possession.
"Is this a bribe to make me give up the papers?"
I demanded in a moment, perversely. "Much as I value it,
if I were to be obliged to choose, the papers are what I
should prefer. Ah, but ever so much!"
"How can you choose--how can you choose?" Miss Tita
asked, slowly, lamentably.
"I see! Of course there is nothing to be said, if you regard
the interdiction that rests upon you as quite insurmountable.
In this case it must seem to you that to part with them would
be an impiety of the worst kind, a simple sacrilege!"
Miss Tita shook her head, full of her dolefulness. "You would understand
if you had known her. I'm afraid," she quavered suddenly--"I'm afraid!
She was terrible when she was angry."
"Yes, I saw something of that, that night. She was terrible.
Then I saw her eyes. Lord, they were fine!"
"I see them--they stare at me in the dark!" said Miss Tita.
"You are nervous, with all you have been through."
"Oh, yes, very--very!"
"You mustn't mind; that will pass away," I said, kindly.
Then I added, resignedly, for it really seemed to me that I must
accept the situation, "Well, so it is, and it can't be helped.
I must renounce." Miss Tita, at this, looking at me, gave a low,
soft moan, and I went on: "I only wish to heaven she had
destroyed them; then there would be nothing more to say.
And I can't understand why, with her ideas, she didn't."
"Oh, she lived on them!" said Miss Tita.
"You can imagine whether that makes me want less to see them,"
I answered, smiling. "But don't let me stand here as if I
had it in my soul to tempt you to do anything base.
Naturally you will understand if I give up my rooms.
I leave Venice immediately." And I took up my hat, which I
had placed on a chair. We were still there rather awkwardly,
on our feet, in the middle of the sala. She had left
the door of the apartments open behind her but she had not led
me that way.
A kind of spasm came into her face as she saw me take my hat.
"Immediately--do you mean today?" The tone of the words was tragical--
they were a cry of desolation.
"Oh, no; not so long as I can be of the least service to you."
"Well, just a day or two more--just two or three days," she panted.
Then controlling herself, she added in another manner, "She wanted
to say something to me--the last day--something very particular,
but she couldn't."
"Something very particular?"
"Something more about the papers."
"And did you guess--have you any idea?"
"No, I have thought--but I don't know. I have thought all kinds of things."
"And for instance?"
"Well, that if you were a relation it would be different."
"If I were a relation?"
"If you were not a stranger. Then it would be the same for you as for me.
Anything that is mine--would be yours, and you could do what you like.
I couldn't prevent you--and you would have no responsibility."
She brought out this droll explanation with a little nervous rush,
as if she were speaking words she had got by heart. They gave
me an impression of subtlety and at first I failed to follow.
But after a moment her face helped me to see further,
and then a light came into my mind. It was embarrassing,
and I bent my head over Jeffrey Aspern's portrait.
What an odd expression was in his face! "Get out of it as
you can, my dear fellow!" I put the picture into the pocket
of my coat and said to Miss Tita, "Yes, I'll sell it for you.
I shan't get a thousand pounds by any means, but I shall
get something good."
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, but she seemed to try to smile
- instant [´instənt]
a.立即的 n.紧迫；瞬间 (初中英语单词) - beginning [bi´giniŋ] n.开始，开端；起源 (初中英语单词)
- seriously [´siəriəsli] ad.严肃；严重，重大 (初中英语单词)
- linger [´liŋgə] v.逗留；留恋；拖延 (初中英语单词)
- female [´fi:meil] a.女(性)的 n.女人 (初中英语单词)
- reward [ri´wɔ:d] n.&v.报答；报酬；奖赏 (初中英语单词)
- saddle [´sædl] n.鞍子 v.装鞍(于) (初中英语单词)
- parlor [´pɑ:lə] n.客厅；起居室 (初中英语单词)
- waiting [´weitiŋ] n.等候；伺候 (初中英语单词)
- satisfaction [,sætis´fækʃən] n.满意；满足 (初中英语单词)
- learning [´lə:niŋ] n.学习；学问；知识 (初中英语单词)
- existence [ig´zistəns] n.存在；生存；生活 (初中英语单词)
- dreadful [´dredful] a.可怕的；讨厌的 (初中英语单词)
- extremely [ik´stri:mli] ad.极端地；非常地 (初中英语单词)
- bargain [´bɑ:gin] n.买卖合同 v.议(价) (初中英语单词)
- reference [´refərəns] n.参考；参照；出处 (初中英语单词)
- frighten [´fraitn] vt.吓唬，使惊惧 (初中英语单词)
- nevertheless [,nevəðə´les] conj.&ad.然而；不过 (初中英语单词)
- nervous [´nə:vəs] a.神经的；神经过敏的 (初中英语单词)
- explanation [,eksplə´neiʃən] n.解释；说明；辩解 (初中英语单词)
- impression [im´preʃən] n.印刷；印象；效果 (初中英语单词)
- converse [´kɔnvə:s] n.交谈 a.相反的 (高中英语单词)
- draught [drɑ:ft] n.通风，通气；吸出 (高中英语单词)
- learned [´lə:nid] a.有学问的，博学的 (高中英语单词)
- wherein [weər´in] ad.那里面 (高中英语单词)
- uncomfortable [ʌn´kʌmftəbəl] a.不舒服的，不自在的 (高中英语单词)
- venice [´venis] n.威尼斯 (高中英语单词)
- beseech [bi´si:tʃ] v.恳求，哀求 (高中英语单词)
- proceeding [prə´si:diŋ] n.程序；进程；行动 (高中英语单词)
- anguish [´æŋgwiʃ] n.(极度的)痛苦；苦恼 (高中英语单词)
- obstacle [´ɔbstəkl] n.障碍(物)；妨碍 (高中英语单词)
- precisely [pri´saisli] ad.精确地；刻板地 (高中英语单词)
- gratify [´grætifai] vt.使高兴；满足 (高中英语单词)
- assurance [ə´ʃuərəns] n.保证；自信；信任 (高中英语单词)
- singular [´siŋgjulə] a.单一的；非凡的 (高中英语单词)
- declaration [,deklə´reiʃən] n.宣布；宣言；申报 (高中英语单词)
- pickle [´pikəl] n.盐汁；腌菜 v.腌渍 (高中英语单词)
- freshness [´freʃnis] n.新鲜 (英语四级单词)
- virtually [´və:tʃuəli] ad.实际上，实质上 (英语四级单词)
- unnatural [,ʌn´nætʃərəl] a.不自然的 (英语四级单词)
- middle-aged [´midl´eidʒid] a.中年的 (英语六级单词)
- helplessness [´helplisnis] n.无能为力 (英语六级单词)
- indebted [in´detid] a.负债的；感恩的 (英语六级单词)
- affected [ə´fektid] a.做作的；假装的 (英语六级单词)
- entreaty [in´tri:ti] n.恳求，哀求 (英语六级单词)
- assured [ə´ʃuəd] a.确实的 n.被保险人 (英语六级单词)
- hindrance [´hindrəns] n.障碍，妨碍 (英语六级单词)
- truthful [´tru:θfəl] a.诚实的；真实的 (英语六级单词)
- privately [´praivitli] ad.秘密，一个人 (英语六级单词)
- mockery [´mɔkəri] n.嘲笑；笑柄 (英语六级单词)
- unsatisfactory [,ʌnsætis´fæktəri] a.不能令人满意的 (英语六级单词)
- speaking [´spi:kiŋ] n.说话 a.发言的 (英语六级单词)
- subtlety [´sʌtlti] n.敏锐；巧妙；微妙 (英语六级单词)
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