风中玫瑰



你知道我在等你吗？你如果真的在乎我，又怎会让玫瑰在风中颤抖

那是一个初春的下午，游子一般的我又提起行李来到了广州机场，我坐在大厅的一个角落，看着人来人往，就是不见你的身影出现。你说过你会来送我的，你说过你会爱我直至我不再爱你为止的。可是

登上飞机的一刹那，一串思念的泪水止不住地滑落。

回到北京的我倒下了，整整一个月。一天，你托你的朋友给我送来一束玫瑰，但我的心已死了。玫瑰，送回给你吧！一年后，我回到广州，当我们再有机会坐下来，好好地谈一谈的时候，我的爱依旧，只是不想在让你知道了。我们相识在不该相识的年代，能认识你，能爱上你，这是我一辈子最幸运的事了。我能理解你，正如我理解自己一般。记得我跟你说过吗？激情握在手里边顷刻会化为灰烬，而藏在心底却可以历久常新。就让你在我的心上占山为王吧，我可不想有人能将你赶跑的。

今天，北京下雪了，白茫茫的一片，堆了一个雪人，越看就越像你，我不自禁地笑了

命运曾在我猝不及防的时候亮出了重锤

可是在一年后，我从你的眼中读懂了一切。我们没有再说过什么。

美好的玫瑰花曾让一颗冰封的心淌过暖流，感受过温暖；美好的玫瑰花让一段灰暗的人生至少出现了一点缤纷的色彩。在感情上我已是踏上了一条不归之路，可日后路上有你送的花香伴随，何愁寂寞呢？足矣！

你送的玫瑰我虽然没有接受，可我心领了呀！冥冥之中，我仿佛听到你对我说了什么我于是笑着站了起来。从此，玫瑰在我的心中盛开、在我的梦中飘香。整整一年时间，我们天各一方，音信杳无。那种相思之苦，常痛彻心肺！

一年后我回到广州，我们之间的异常冷淡让敏感的朋友察觉，他们精心设下了布局。我们在卡拉OK厅再次见面了。我们的表演是那么的出色，没人能猜出我和你有任何情感的牵连。你笑着跟我碰了杯，眼里的忧郁一掠而过，不小心地让我看到了，我也笑了，真的，低下头，轻轻地笑了

你让我不晓得去恨你呀！

在北国这一个下雪的晚上，又将无眠。远方的你，可好？



[补白]

第一个帖子贴出了。网络上静悄悄的，没有回音。

从来没有写过文章的我，为自己起了个网名"风中玫瑰"。

其实，这个帖子不是写给别人看的，我希望在大海一样的网络里，有一双眼睛能读这个帖子。我是为他写的。

后来，想不到一写写了十个月。我的帖子就要变成书了，我的"写"成了"创作"，这让我很不习惯啊，但是还是要谈一谈"创作谈"的，于是，就这样写了：



千禧年元旦刚过，玫瑰初次走进泉聊的BBS，一直想写点什么东西，却又觉得无从着手，

有网友问玫瑰："老听你说想写点什么东西的，怎么不见你发帖子呢？"

玫瑰总是不好意思地说："没有灵感，都不知道要写什么才好呢，等等吧，再说。"

于是，在BBS上闲逛了好几天。这天，不经意的看到一个网友写了一篇关于机场送别的帖子，情深感人。玫瑰心下颇多感慨，不禁遥想起一段难忘的往事，于是，情不自禁地写下了《玫瑰在风中颤抖》的第一个帖子，并马上贴了上去。

初时玫瑰也没有想过会将这个故事如连载小说般慢慢写来的，后来不断有网友给玫瑰支持，鼓励玫瑰写下去，于是这个故事便如书卷般慢慢地铺展了开来。在这艰辛的创作路上，玫瑰经历了不少的风风雨雨，网友们的评论毁誉参半，帖子的承载内容超重，不得不开新帖等等，也曾试过有"不再写下去放弃了吧"的念头，可现在都一一挺了过来，而这一写，却也是半年有多了，实在是始料不及的。



这些话自然是官样文章。其实，最初是为他而动笔的。想让他在远方，静静地读玫瑰的心声。没想到这本书却属于了许许多多的网友。

这样的结局，似乎更合我的心意呢。



"一开始，你就和我约定，

我们之间，连手也不要拉一下。

起初，我以为我能做到。

可是，当你再次约我的时候，我发现我做不到......"



是的，我到今天也明白了，

我也做不到......



不论以前我们是怎样，

不论以后我们会怎样，

我只知道，我的心，永远地留在了这里，

这一刻的美丽，

已被我牢牢锁在了心中。



Rose in the Wind



Do you know I have been waiting for you？If you really care about me, why

do you keep the rose trembling in the wind..?

That was an early spring afternoon, I, like a tramp, picked up my luggage

and came to Guangzhou Airport. Sitting in a corner of the hall, I watched

people coming and going, but just could not see you show up. You said you

would come to see me off, you swore you would love me until I stop loving

you. However...

At the moment of enplaning, I could no longer constrain a string of yearning

tears from sliding down.

Back in Beijing, I collapsed, for the whole month. One day, you entrusted

a friend of yours to bring a rose to me, but my heart had died away. The

rose， return to you! A year later, I returned to Guangzhou. When we have

a chance again to sit down and have a heart-to-hear talk, my love is still

as ever, only that I will not let you know. We got acquainted in a time

we should not, and being able to know you and fall in love with you is

the luckiest thing in my life. I can understand you, just as I can understand

myself. Do you still remember what I said to you？"The passion held in hand

will be reduced to ashes at once, but that hidden at the bottom of the

heart will endure and remain fresh forever." Just let you be the King in

my heart, I never wish anyone can drive you away.

Today, it snowed in Beijing, and in the vast expanse of whiteness, I made

a snowman, the more I saw it, the more it was like you, I could not help

laughing out...

Fate once gave me a big attack when I had no preparation at all...

But I spelled out everything from your eyes one year later. We did not

say anything since then.

The charming rose once offered a warm current across a frozen heart, and

let her feel warm; at least, the nice rose once added a little bright color

to the dismal life. I have stepped onto a non-return road in love, but,

with the rose you sent to accompany me on my road, why should I worry about

loneliness? Enough!

Though I did not accept your rose, my heart has accepted it! In the unseen

world, I seemed to have heard something you said to me... Then I stood

up with a laugh. From then on，the rose has been in blossom in my heart,

sending off fragrance in my dream. For the whole year, we lived far apart

from each other, no message from each other at all. That lovesickness often

tortured me to death!

One year later, I came back to Guangzhou, and the unusual nonchalance between

us was sensed by our sensitive friends, who set a trap for us. We met again

at a karaoke hall. Our acting was so marvelous that no one could guess

any emotional involvement between you and me. You clinked glasses with

me in a smile, and a melancholy flickered across your eyes, but it was

noticed by me unluckily. I smiled, too, really, lowered my head and smiled

lightly...

Do you want to let me wonder how to hate you?

In such a snowy night in the norland, I will remain awake again. Faraway，how

are you？



[Tailpiece]

The first poster was put onto the Internet. The web world was silent，without

answer.

I gave myself a name on the Internet, "Rose in the Wind", although I had

never written articles before.

Actually, the poster was not written for others to read, I just hoped to

find a pair of eyes in the ocean-like Internet, which could read it. I

wrote for him.

Afterwards，unexpectedly, I wrote for ten months in succession. My poster

was about to become a book, and my "writing" became "literary creation",

which is very uncustomary to me, but still I have to give opinions on "literature",

thus, I wrote the following words:



Shortly after the New Year of the millennium, Rose went into the chatting

BBS, hoping to write something, but not knowing how to start.

A net friend asked Rose： "Often hear you say want to write something,

but why do I not see your poster?"

Rose always said shyly："No inspiration，I don't know what to write, wait

a while."

Thus, I wandered on the BBS for many days. That day, accidentally, I saw

a net friend's poster about seeing someone off at the airport, very touching

in deed. Rose signed with deep feelings, and could not help thinking up

an unforgettable story of the remote past, then, unable to control her

feelings, she wrote her first poster, "Rose in the Wind..." and put it

up at once.

At first, Rose did not imagine that she would make the story into a serial

novel and keep it going, however, her net friends always gave support to

her, encouraging her to work on, thus, the story was uncoiled slowly like

a volume of book. In the hard course of writing, Rose went through countless

winds and rains. The comments from the net friends contained both praise

and blame. The poster became over-loaded and she had to open new ones...

Such an idea as "Stop it and give it up" also occurred to her. But now

she has overcome all those obstacles. She has been writing for more than

half a year, which is quite unexpected to her.



Of course, those words are gobbledygook on the whole. As a matter of fact,

it was for him that she started to write. Hoped that he would read the

heart of Rose silently, in the distance. What she was not aware of is that

the book has become the public property of many net friends.

Such an outcome seems to be more to my taste.



"At the very start，you promised to me，

Between us，even a touch of the hand would not occur.

At first，I thought I could.

But I found I couldn't when you dated with me again..."



Yes，to this day, I have understood，

I can not, either...



No matter how we were before，

No matter how we will be later，

I only know my heart stays here forever，

This moment of beauty，

Has been firmly locked in my mind.


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