酷兔英语

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(AGATHON appears on the eccyclema, softly reposing on a bed,
clothed in a saffron tunic, and surrounded with feminine toilet

articles.)
MNESILOCHUS

I am blind then! I see no man here, I only see Cyrene.
EURIPIDES

Be still! He is getting ready to sing.
MNESILOCHUS

What subtle trill, I wonder, is he going to warble to us?
AGATHON

(He now sings a selection from one of his tragedies, taking first
the part of the leader of the chorus and then that of the whole

chorus.)
(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)

Damsels, with the sacred torch in hand, unite your dance to shouts
of joy in honour of the nethergoddesses; celebrate the freedom of

your country.
(As CHORUS)

To what divinity is your homage addressed? I wish to mingle mine
with it.

(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
Oh! Muse! glorify Phoebus with his golden bow, who erected the

walls of the city of the Simois.
(As CHORUS)

To thee, oh Phoebus, I dedicate my most beauteous songs; to
thee, the sacredvictor in the poetical contests.

(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
And praise Artemis too, the maiden huntress, who wanders on the

mountains and through the woods....
(As CHORUS)

I, in my turn, celebrate the everlasting happiness of the chaste
Artemis, the mighty daughter of Leto!

(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
....and Leto and the tones of the Asiatic lyre, which wed so

well with the dances of the Phrygian Graces.
(As CHORUS)

I do honour to the divine Leto and to the lyre, the mother of
songs of male and noble strains. The eyes of the goddesssparkle while

listening to our enthusiastic chants. Honour to the powerful
Phoebus! Hail! thou blessed son of Leto.

MNESILOCHUS
Oh! ye venerable Genetyllides, what tender and voluptuous songs!

They surpass the most lascivious kisses in sweetness; I feel a
thrill of delight pass up me as I listen to them. (To EURIPIDES) Young

man, if you are one, answer my questions, which I am borrowing from
Aeschylus' "Lycurgeia." Whence comes this androgyne? What is his

country? his dress? What contradictions his life shows! A lyre and a
hair-net! A wrestling school oil flask and a girdle! What could be

more contradictory? What relation has a mirror to a sword? (To
AGATHON) And you yourself, who are you? Do you pretend to be a man?

Where is your tool, pray? Where is the cloak, the footgear that belong
to that sex? Are you a woman? Then where are your breasts? Answer

me. But you keep silent. Oh! just as you choose; your songs display
your character quite sufficiently.

AGATHON
Old man, old man, I hear the shafts of jealousy whistling by my

ears, but they do not hit me. My dress is in harmony with my thoughts.
A poet must adopt the nature of his characters. Thus, if he is placing

women on the stage, he must contract all their habits in his own
person.

MNESILOCHUS (aside)
Then you make love horse-fashion when you are composing a Phaedra.

AGATHON
If the heroes are men, everything in him will be manly. What we

don't possess by nature, we must acquire by imitation.
MNESILOCHUS (aside)

When you are staging Satyrs, call me; I will do my best to help
you from behind, if I can get my tool up.

AGATHON
Besides, it is bad taste for a poet to be coarse and hairy. Look

at the famous Ibycus, at Anacreon of Teos, and at Alcaeus, who handled
music so well; they wore head-bands and found pleasure in the

lascivious dances of Ionia. And have you not heard what a dandy
Phrynichus was and how careful in his dress? For this reason his

pieces were also beautiful, for the works of a poet are copied from
himself.

MNESILOCHUS
Ah! so it is for this reason that Philocles, who is so hideous,

writes hideous pieces; Xenocles, who is malicious, malicious ones, and
Theognis, who is cold, such cold ones?

AGATHON
Yes, necessarily and unavoidably; and it is because I knew this

that I have so well cared for my person.
MNESILOCHUS

How, in the gods' name?
EURIPIDES

Come, leave off badgering him; I was just the same at his age,
when I began to write.

MNESILOCHUS
Ah! then, by Zeus! I don't envy you your fine manners.

EURIPIDES (to AGATHON)
But listen to the cause that brings me here.

AGATHON
Say on.

EURIPIDES
Agathon, wise is he who can compress many thoughts into few words.

Struck by a most cruel misfortune, I come to you as a suppliant.
AGATHON

What are you asking?
EURIPIDES

The women purpose killing me to-day during the Thesmophoria,
because I have dared to speak ill of them.

AGATHON
And what can I do for you in the matter?

EURIPIDES
Everything. Mingle secretly with the women by making yourself pass

as one of themselves; then do you plead my cause with your own lips,
and I am saved. You, and you alone, are capable of speaking of me

worthily.
AGATHON

But why not go and defend yourself?
EURIPIDES

Impossible. First of all, I am known; further, I have white hair
and a long beard; whereas you, you are good-looking, charming, and are

close-shaven; you are fair, delicate, and have a woman's voice.
AGATHON

Euripides!
EURIPIDES

Well?
AGATHON

Have you not said in one of your pieces, "You love to see the
light, and don't you believe your father loves it too?"

EURIPIDES
Yes.

AGATHON
Then never you think I am going to expose myself in your stead; it

would be madness. It's up to you to submit to the fate that
overtakes you; one must not try to trick misfortune, but resign

oneself to it with good grace.
MNESILOCHUS

You fairy! That's why your arse is so accessible to lovers.
EURIPIDES

But what prevents your going there?
AGATHON

I should run more risk than you would.
EURIPIDES

Why?
AGATHON

Why? I should look as if I were wanting to trespass on secret
nightly pleasures of the women and to rape their Aphrodite.

MNESILOCHUS (aside)
Wanting to rape indeed! you mean wanting to be raped. Ah! great

gods! a fine excuse truly!
EURIPIDES

Well then, do you agree?
AGATHON

Don't count upon it.
EURIPIDES

Oh! I am unfortunate indeed! I am undone!
MNESILOCHUS

Euripides, my friend, my son-in-law, never despair.
EURIPIDES

What can be done?
MNESILOCHUS

Send him to the devil and do with me as you like.
EURIPIDES

Very well then, since you devote yourself to my safety, take off
your cloak first.

MNESILOCHUS
There, it lies on the ground. But what do you want to do with me?

EURIPIDES
To shave off this beard of yours, and to remove all your other

hair as well.
MNESILOCHUS

Do what you think fit; I yield myself entirely to you.
EURIPIDES

Agathon, you always have razors about you; lend me one.
AGATHON

Take it yourself, there, out of that case.
EURIPIDES

Thanks. (To MNESILOCHUS) Now sit down and puff out your right
cheek.

MNESILOCHUS (as he is being shaved)
Ow! Ow! Ow!

EURIPIDES
What are you houting for? I'll cram a spit down your gullet, if

you're not quiet.
MNESILOCHUS

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (He jumps up and starts running away.)
EURIPIDES

Where are you running to now?
MNESILOCHUS

To the temple of the Eumenides. No, by Demeter! I won't let myself
be gashed like that.

EURIPIDES
But you will get laughed at, with your face half-shaven like that.

MNESILOCHUS
Little care I.

EURIPIDES
In the gods' names, don't leave me in the lurch. Come here.

MNESILOCHUS
Oh! by the gods! (He turns reluctantly and resumes his seat.)

EURIPIDES
Keep still and hold up your head. Why do you want to fidget

about like this?
MNESILOCHUS

Mm, mm.
EURIPIDES

Well! why mm, mm? There! it's done and well done too!
MNESILOCHUS

Alas, I shall fight without armour.


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