(AGATHON appears on the eccyclema,
softly reposing on a bed,
clothed in a saffron tunic, and surrounded with
feminine toilet
articles.)
MNESILOCHUS
I am blind then! I see no man here, I only see Cyrene.
EURIPIDES
Be still! He is getting ready to sing.
MNESILOCHUS
What subtle trill, I wonder, is he going to
warble to us?
AGATHON
(He now sings a
selection from one of his tragedies,
taking first
the part of the leader of the
chorus and then that of the whole
chorus.)
(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
Damsels, with the
sacred torch in hand, unite your dance to shouts
of joy in honour of the
nethergoddesses;
celebrate the freedom of
your country.
(As CHORUS)
To what
divinity is your
homage addressed? I wish to
mingle mine
with it.
(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
Oh! Muse!
glorify Phoebus with his golden bow, who erected the
walls of the city of the Simois.
(As CHORUS)
To thee, oh Phoebus, I
dedicate my most
beauteous songs; to
thee, the
sacredvictor in the
poetical contests.
(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
And praise Artemis too, the
maiden huntress, who wanders on the
mountains and through the woods....
(As CHORUS)
I, in my turn,
celebrate the
everlasting happiness of the chaste
Artemis, the
mighty daughter of Leto!
(As LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
....and Leto and the tones of the Asiatic lyre, which wed so
well with the dances of the Phrygian Graces.
(As CHORUS)
I do honour to the
divine Leto and to the lyre, the mother of
songs of male and noble strains. The eyes of the
goddesssparkle while
listening to our
enthusiastic chants. Honour to the powerful
Phoebus! Hail! thou
blessed son of Leto.
MNESILOCHUS
Oh! ye
venerable Genetyllides, what tender and voluptuous songs!
They
surpass the most lascivious kisses in
sweetness; I feel a
thrill of delight pass up me as I listen to them. (To EURIPIDES) Young
man, if you are one, answer my questions, which I am borrowing from
Aeschylus' "Lycurgeia." Whence comes this androgyne? What is his
country? his dress? What contradictions his life shows! A lyre and a
hair-net! A wrestling school oil flask and a girdle! What could be
more contradictory? What relation has a mirror to a sword? (To
AGATHON) And you yourself, who are you? Do you
pretend to be a man?
Where is your tool, pray? Where is the cloak, the footgear that belong
to that sex? Are you a woman? Then where are your breasts? Answer
me. But you keep silent. Oh! just as you choose; your songs display
your
character quite sufficiently.
AGATHON
Old man, old man, I hear the shafts of
jealousy whistling by my
ears, but they do not hit me. My dress is in
harmony with my thoughts.
A poet must adopt the nature of his
characters. Thus, if he is placing
women on the stage, he must contract all their habits in his own
person.
MNESILOCHUS (aside)
Then you make love horse-fashion when you are composing a Phaedra.
AGATHON
If the heroes are men, everything in him will be manly. What we
don't possess by nature, we must
acquire by imitation.
MNESILOCHUS (aside)
When you are staging Satyrs, call me; I will do my best to help
you from behind, if I can get my tool up.
AGATHON
Besides, it is bad taste for a poet to be
coarse and hairy. Look
at the famous Ibycus, at Anacreon of Teos, and at Alcaeus, who handled
music so well; they wore head-bands and found pleasure in the
lascivious dances of Ionia. And have you not heard what a dandy
Phrynichus was and how careful in his dress? For this reason his
pieces were also beautiful, for the works of a poet are copied from
himself.
MNESILOCHUS
Ah! so it is for this reason that Philocles, who is so
hideous,
writes
hideous pieces; Xenocles, who is
malicious,
malicious ones, and
Theognis, who is cold, such cold ones?
AGATHON
Yes,
necessarily and unavoidably; and it is because I knew this
that I have so well cared for my person.
MNESILOCHUS
How, in the gods' name?
EURIPIDES
Come, leave off badgering him; I was just the same at his age,
when I began to write.
MNESILOCHUS
Ah! then, by Zeus! I don't envy you your fine manners.
EURIPIDES (to AGATHON)
But listen to the cause that brings me here.
AGATHON
Say on.
EURIPIDES
Agathon, wise is he who can
compress many thoughts into few words.
Struck by a most cruel
misfortune, I come to you as a suppliant.
AGATHON
What are you asking?
EURIPIDES
The women purpose killing me to-day during the Thesmophoria,
because I have dared to speak ill of them.
AGATHON
And what can I do for you in the matter?
EURIPIDES
Everything. Mingle
secretly with the women by making yourself pass
as one of themselves; then do you plead my cause with your own lips,
and I am saved. You, and you alone, are
capable of
speaking of me
worthily.
AGATHON
But why not go and defend yourself?
EURIPIDES
Impossible. First of all, I am known; further, I have white hair
and a long beard;
whereas you, you are
good-looking,
charming, and are
close-shaven; you are fair,
delicate, and have a woman's voice.
AGATHON
Euripides!
EURIPIDES
Well?
AGATHON
Have you not said in one of your pieces, "You love to see the
light, and don't you believe your father loves it too?"
EURIPIDES
Yes.
AGATHON
Then never you think I am going to
expose myself in your stead; it
would be
madness. It's up to you to
submit to the fate that
overtakes you; one must not try to trick
misfortune, but resign
oneself to it with good grace.
MNESILOCHUS
You fairy! That's why your arse is so
accessible to lovers.
EURIPIDES
But what prevents your going there?
AGATHON
I should run more risk than you would.
EURIPIDES
Why?
AGATHON
Why? I should look as if I were
wanting to
trespass on secret
nightly pleasures of the women and to rape their Aphrodite.
MNESILOCHUS (aside)
Wanting to rape indeed! you mean
wanting to be raped. Ah! great
gods! a fine excuse truly!
EURIPIDES
Well then, do you agree?
AGATHON
Don't count upon it.
EURIPIDES
Oh! I am
unfortunate indeed! I am undone!
MNESILOCHUS
Euripides, my friend, my son-in-law, never despair.
EURIPIDES
What can be done?
MNESILOCHUS
Send him to the devil and do with me as you like.
EURIPIDES
Very well then, since you devote yourself to my safety, take off
your cloak first.
MNESILOCHUS
There, it lies on the ground. But what do you want to do with me?
EURIPIDES
To shave off this beard of yours, and to remove all your other
hair as well.
MNESILOCHUS
Do what you think fit; I yield myself entirely to you.
EURIPIDES
Agathon, you always have razors about you; lend me one.
AGATHON
Take it yourself, there, out of that case.
EURIPIDES
Thanks. (To MNESILOCHUS) Now sit down and puff out your right
cheek.
MNESILOCHUS (as he is being shaved)
Ow! Ow! Ow!
EURIPIDES
What are you houting for? I'll cram a spit down your gullet, if
you're not quiet.
MNESILOCHUS
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (He jumps up and starts
running away.)
EURIPIDES
Where are you
running to now?
MNESILOCHUS
To the
temple of the Eumenides. No, by Demeter! I won't let myself
be gashed like that.
EURIPIDES
But you will get laughed at, with your face half-shaven like that.
MNESILOCHUS
Little care I.
EURIPIDES
In the gods' names, don't leave me in the lurch. Come here.
MNESILOCHUS
Oh! by the gods! (He turns
reluctantly and resumes his seat.)
EURIPIDES
Keep still and hold up your head. Why do you want to fidget
about like this?
MNESILOCHUS
Mm, mm.
EURIPIDES
Well! why mm, mm? There! it's done and well done too!
MNESILOCHUS
Alas, I shall fight without
armour.