I will pluck out your white hairs and make you young again.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Take this hare's tail to wipe the rheum from your eyes.
CLEON
When you wipe your nose, clean your fingers on my head.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, on mine.
CLEON
On mine. (To the SAUSAGE-SELLER) I will have you made a
trierarch and you will get ruined through it; I will arrange that
you are given an old
vessel with
rotten sails, which you will have
to
repairconstantly and at great cost.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Our man is on the boil; enough, enough, enough, he is boiling
over; remove some of the embers from under him and skim off his
threats.
CLEON
I will
punish your self-importance; I will crush you with imposts;
I will have you inscribed on the list of the rich.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
For me no threat-only one simple wish. That you may be having some
cuttle-fish fried on the stove just as you are going to set forth to
plead the cause of the Milesians, which, if you gain it, means a
talent in your, pocket; that you hurry over
devouring the fish to rush
off to the Assembly; suddenly you are called and run off with your
mouth full so as not to lose the
talent and choke yourself. There!
that is my wish.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Splendid! by Zeus, Apollo and Demeter!
DEMOS
Faith! here is an excellent citizen indeed, such as has not been
seen for a long time. He's truly a man of the lowest scum! As for you,
Paphlagonian, who
pretend to love me, you only feed me on garlic.
Return me my ring, for you cease to be my steward.
CLEON
Here it is, but be
assured, that if you bereave me of my power, my
successor will be worse than I am.
DEMOS
This cannot be my ring; I see another
device, unless I am going
purblind.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
What was your
device?
DEMOS
A fig-leaf, stuffed with bullock's fat.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, that is not it.
DEMOS
What is it then?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
It's a gull with beak wide open, haranguing the people from the
top of a stone.
DEMOS
Ah! great gods!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
What is the matter?
DEMOS
Away! away out of my sight! It's not my ring he had, it was that
of Cleonymus. (To the SAUSAGE-SELLER) Wait, I'll give you this one;
you shall be my steward.
CLEON
Master, I adjure you, decide nothing till you have heard my
oracles.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And mine.
CLEON
If you believe him, you will have to prostitute yourself for him.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
If you listen to him, you'll have to let him peel you to the
very stump.
CLEON
My
oracles say that you are to reign over the whole earth, crowned
with chaplets.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And mine say that, clothed in an embroidered
purple robe, you
shall
pursue Smicythe and her
spouse,
standing in a
chariot of gold
and with a crown on your head.
DEMOS
Go, fetch me your
oracles, that the Paphlagonian may hear them.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Willingly.
DEMOS
And you yours.
CLEON
I'll run.
(He rushes into the house of DEMOS.)
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I'll run too; nothing could suit me better!
(He departs in haste.)
CHORUS (singing)
Oh! happy day for us and for our children if Cleon
perish. Yet
just now I heard some old cross-grained pleaders on the marketplace
who hold not this opinion discoursing together. Said they, "If Cleon
had not had the power, we should have lacked two most useful tools,
the pestle and the soup-ladle." You also know what a pig's education
he has had; his school-fellows can recall that he only liked the
Dorian style and would study no other; his music-master in displeasure
sent him away,
saying; "This youth, in matters of
harmony, will only
learn the Dorian style because it is akin to bribery."
CLEON (coming out of the house with a large package)
There, look at this heap; and yet I'm not bringing them all.
SAUSAGE-SELLER (entering witk an even larger package)
Ugh! The weight of them is squeezing the crap right out of me, and
still I'm not bringing them all!
DEMOS
What are these?
CLEON
Oracles.
DEMOS
All these?
CLEON
Does that
astonish you? Why, I have another whole boxful of them.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I the whole of my attic and two rooms besides.
DEMOS
Come, let us see, whose are these
oracles?
CLEON
Mine are those of Bacis.
DEMOS (to the SAUSAGE-SELLER)
And whose are yours?
SAUSAGE-SELLER (without hesitating)
Glanis's, the elder brother of Bacis.
DEMOS
And of what do they speak?
CLEON
Of Athens and Pylos and you and me and everything.
DEMOS
And yours?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Of Athens and lentils and Lacedaemonians and fresh mackerel and
scoundrelly flour-sellers and you and me. Ah ha! now watch him gnaw
his own tool with chagrin!
DEMOS
Come, read them out to me and especially that one I like so
much, which says that I shall become an eagle and soar among the
clouds.
CLEON
Then listen and be attentive! "Son of Erechtheus, understand the
meaning of the words, which the
sacred tripods set resounding in the
sanctuary of Apollo. Preserve the
sacred dog with the jagged teeth,
that barks and howls in your defence; he will ensure you a salary and,
if he fails, will
perish as the
victim of the swarms of jays that hunt
him down with their screams."
DEMOS
By Demeter! I do not understand a word of it. What
connection is
there between Erechtheus, the jays and the dog?
CLEON
I am the dog, since I bark in your defence. Well! Phoebus commands
you to keep and
cherish your dog.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
That is not what the god says; this dog seems to me to gnaw at the
oracles as others gnaw at doorposts. Here is exactly what Apollo
says of the dog.
DEMOS
Let us hear, but I must first pick up a stone; an
oracle which
speaks of a dog might bite my tool.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
"Son of Erechtheus,
beware of this Cerberus that enslaves free
men; he fawns upon you with his tail when you are dining, but he is
lying in wait to
devour your dishes should you turn your head an
instant; at night he sneaks into the kitchen and, true dog that he is,
licks up with one lap of his tongue both your dishes and.... the
islands."
DEMOS
By god, Glanis, you speak better than your brother.
CLEON
Condescend again to hear me and then judge: "A woman in
sacredAthens will be delivered of a lion, who shall fight for the people
against clouds of gnats with the same
ferocity as if he were defending
his whelps; care ye for him, erect
wooden walls around him and
towers of brass." Do you understand that?
DEMOS
Not the least bit in the world.
CLEON
The god tells you here to look after me, for I am your lion.
DEMOS
How! You have become a lion and I never knew a thing about it?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
There is only one thing which he purposely keeps from you; he does
not say what this wall of wood and brass is in which Apollo warns
you to keep and guard him.
DEMOS
What does the god mean, then?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
He advises you to fit him into a five-holed
wooden collar.
DEMOS
Hah! I think that
oracle is about to be fulfilled.
CLEON
Do not believe it; these are but
jealous crows, that caw against
me; but never cease to
cherish your good hawk; never forget that he
brought you those Lacedaemonian fish, loaded with chains.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Ah! if the Paphlagonian ran any risk that day, it was because he
was drunk. Oh, too
credulous son of Cecrops, do you accept that as a
glorious
exploit? A woman would carry a heavy burden if only a man had
put it on her shoulders. But to fight! Go to! he would empty his
bowels before he would ever fight.
CLEON
Note this Pylos in front of Pylos, of which the
oracle speaks,
"Pylos is before Pylos."
DEMOS
How "in front of Pylos"? What does he mean by that?