SCAN. Nay, nay, 'tis
manifest; I do not
flatter you. But Sir
Sampson is hasty, very hasty. I'm afraid he is not scrupulous
enough, Mr Foresight. He has been
wicked, and heav'n grant he may
mean well in his affair with you. But my mind gives me, these
things cannot be
whollyinsignificant. You are wise, and should not
be over-reached,
methinks you should not -
FORE. Alas, Mr Scandal,--humanum est errare.
SCAN. You say true, man will err; mere man will err--but you are
something more. There have been wise men; but they were such as
you, men who consulted the stars, and were observers of omens.
Solomon was wise, but how?--by his judgment in astrology. So says
Pineda in his third book and eighth chapter -
FORE. You are
learned, Mr Scandal.
SCAN. A trifler--but a lover of art. And the Wise Men of the East
owed their
instruction to a star, which is
rightly observed by
Gregory the Great in favour of astrology. And Albertus Magnus makes
it the most
valuable science, because, says he, it teaches us to
consider the causation of causes, in the causes of things.
FORE. I protest I honour you, Mr Scandal. I did not think you had
been read in these matters. Few young men are inclined -
SCAN. I thank my stars that have inclined me. But I fear this
marriage and making over this
estate, this transferring of a
rightful
inheritance, will bring judgments upon us. I
prophesy it,
and I would not have the fate of Cassandra not to be believed.
Valentine is disturbed; what can be the cause of that? And Sir
Sampson is
hurried on by an
unusualviolence. I fear he does not
act
wholly from himself;
methinks he does not look as he used to do.
FORE. He was always of an
impetuous nature. But as to this
marriage, I have consulted the stars, and all appearances are
prosperous -
SCAN. Come, come, Mr Foresight, let not the
prospect of worldly
lucre carry you beyond your judgment, nor against your
conscience.
You are not satisfied that you act justly.
FORE. How?
SCAN. You are not satisfied, I say. I am loth to
discourage you,
but it is palpable that you are not satisfied.
FORE. How does it appear, Mr Scandal? I think I am very well
satisfied.
SCAN. Either you suffer yourself to
deceive yourself, or you do not
know yourself.
FORE. Pray explain yourself.
SCAN. Do you sleep well o' nights?
FORE. Very well.
SCAN. Are you certain? You do not look so.
FORE. I am in health, I think.
SCAN. So was Valentine this morning; and looked just so.
FORE. How? Am I altered any way? I don't
perceive it.
SCAN. That may be, but your beard is longer than it was two hours
ago.
FORE. Indeed! Bless me!
SCENE XII.
[To them] MRS FORESIGHT.
MRS FORE. Husband, will you go to bed? It's ten a'clock. Mr
Scandal, your servant.
SCAN. Pox on her, she has interrupted my design--but I must work
her into the
project. You keep early hours, madam.
MRS FORE. Mr Foresight is
punctual; we sit up after him.
FORE. My dear, pray lend me your glass, your little looking-glass.
SCAN. Pray lend it him, madam. I'll tell you the reason.
[She gives him the glass: SCANDAL and she whisper.] My
passion for
you is grown so
violent, that I am no longer master of myself. I
was interrupted in the morning, when you had
charity enough to give
me your attention, and I had hopes of
finding another opportunity of
explaining myself to you, but was disappointed all this day; and the
uneasiness that has attended me ever since brings me now
hither at
this unseasonable hour.
MRS FORE. Was there ever such impudence, to make love to me before
my husband's face? I'll swear I'll tell him.
SCAN. Do. I'll die a
martyr rather than disclaim my
passion. But
come a little farther this way, and I'll tell you what
project I had
to get him out of the way; that I might have an opportunity of
waiting upon you. [Whisper. FORESIGHT looking in the glass.]
FORE. I do not see any revolution here;
methinks I look with a
serene and benign aspect--pale, a little pale--but the roses of
these cheeks have been gathered many years;--ha! I do not like that
sudden flushing. Gone already! hem, hem, hem! faintish. My heart
is pretty good; yet it beats; and my pulses, ha!--I have none--mercy
on me--hum. Yes, here they are--
gallop,
gallop,
gallop,
gallop,
gallop,
gallop, hey! W
hither will they hurry me? Now they're gone
again. And now I'm faint again, and pale again, and hem! and my
hem!
breath, hem! grows short; hem! hem! he, he, hem!
SCAN. It takes:
pursue it in the name of love and pleasure.
MRS FORE. How do you do, Mr Foresight!
FORE. Hum, not so well as I thought I was. Lend me your hand.
SCAN. Look you there now. Your lady says your sleep has been
unquiet of late.
FORE. Very likely.
MRS FORE. Oh,
mightyrestless, but I was afraid to tell him so. He
has been subject to talking and starting.
SCAN. And did not use to be so?
MRS FORE. Never, never, till within these three nights; I cannot
say that he has once broken my rest since we have been married.
FORE. I will go to bed.
SCAN. Do so, Mr Foresight, and say your prayers. He looks better
than he did.
MRS FORE. Nurse, nurse!
FORE. Do you think so, Mr Scandal?
SCAN. Yes, yes. I hope this will be gone by morning,
taking it in
time.
FORE. I hope so.
SCENE XIII.
[To them] NURSE.
MRS FORE. Nurse; your master is not well; put him to bed.
SCAN. I hope you will be able to see Valentine in the morning. You
had best take a little diacodion and cowslip-water, and lie upon
your back: maybe you may dream.
FORE. I thank you, Mr Scandal, I will. Nurse, let me have a watch-
light, and lay the Crumbs of Comfort by me.
NURSE. Yes, sir.
FORE. And--hem, hem! I am very faint.
SCAN. No, no, you look much better.
FORE. Do I? And, d'ye hear, bring me, let me see--within a quarter
of twelve, hem--he, hem!--just upon the turning of the tide, bring
me the urinal; and I hope, neither the lord of my ascendant, nor the
moon will be combust; and then I may do well.
SCAN. I hope so. Leave that to me; I will erect a
scheme; and I
hope I shall find both Sol and Venus in the sixth house.
FORE. I thank you, Mr Scandal, indeed that would be a great comfort
to me. Hem, hem! good night.
SCENE XIV.
SCANDAL, MRS FORESIGHT.
SCAN. Good night, good Mr Foresight; and I hope Mars and Venus will
be in conjunction;--while your wife and I are together.
MRS FORE. Well; and what use do you hope to make of this
project?
You don't think that you are ever like to succeed in your design
upon me?
SCAN. Yes, faith I do; I have a better opinion both of you and
myself than to despair.
MRS FORE. Did you ever hear such a toad? Hark'ee, devil: do you
think any woman honest?
SCAN. Yes, several, very honest; they'll cheat a little at cards,
sometimes, but that's nothing.
MRS FORE. Pshaw! but
virtuous, I mean?
SCAN. Yes, faith, I believe some women are
virtuous too; but 'tis
as I believe some men are
valiant, through fear. For why should a
man court danger or a woman shun pleasure?
MRS FORE. Oh, monstrous! What are
conscience and honour?
SCAN. Why, honour is a public enemy, and
conscience a domestic
thief; and he that would secure his pleasure must pay a
tribute to
one and go halves with t'other. As for honour, that you have
secured, for you have purchased a
perpetual opportunity for
pleasure.
MRS FORE. An opportunity for pleasure?
SCAN. Ay, your husband, a husband is an opportunity for pleasure:
so you have taken care of honour, and 'tis the least I can do to
take care of
conscience.
MRS FORE. And so you think we are free for one another?
SCAN. Yes, faith I think so; I love to speak my mind.
MRS FORE. Why, then, I'll speak my mind. Now as to this affair
between you and me. Here you make love to me; why, I'll
confess it
does not
displease me. Your person is well enough, and your
understanding is not amiss.
SCAN. I have no great opinion of myself, but I think I'm neither
deformed nor a fool.
MRS FORE. But you have a villainous
character: you are a libertine
in speech, as well as practice.
SCAN. Come, I know what you would say: you think it more dangerous
to be seen in conversation with me than to allow some other men the
last favour; you mistake: the liberty I take in talking is purely
affected for the service of your sex. He that first cries out stop
thief is often he that has stol'n the treasure. I am a juggler,
that act by
confederacy; and if you please, we'll put a trick upon
the world.
MRS FORE. Ay; but you are such an
universal juggler, that I'm
afraid you have a great many confederates.
SCAN. Faith, I'm sound.
MRS FORE. Oh, fie--I'll swear you're impudent.
SCAN. I'll swear you're handsome.
MRS FORE. Pish, you'd tell me so, though you did not think so.
SCAN. And you'd think so, though I should not tell you so. And now
I think we know one another pretty well.
MRS FORE. O Lord, who's here?
SCENE XV.
[To them] MRS FRAIL and BEN.
BEN. Mess, I love to speak my mind. Father has nothing to do with
me. Nay, I can't say that neither; he has something to do with me.
But what does that
signify? If so be that I ben't
minded to be
steered by him; 'tis as thof he should
strive against wind and tide.
MRS FRAIL. Ay, but, my dear, we must keep it secret till the
estatebe settled; for you know, marrying without an
estate is like sailing
in a ship without ballast.
BEN. He, he, he; why, that's true; just so for all the world it is
indeed, as like as two cable ropes.
MRS FRAIL. And though I have a good
portion, you know one would not
venture all in one bottom.
BEN. Why, that's true again; for mayhap one bottom may spring a
leak. You have hit it indeed: mess, you've nicked the channel.
MRS FRAIL. Well, but if you should
forsake me after all, you'd
break my heart.
BEN. Break your heart? I'd rather the Mary-gold should break her
cable in a storm, as well as I love her. Flesh, you don't think I'm
false-hearted, like a landman. A sailor will be honest, thof mayhap
he has never a penny of money in his pocket. Mayhap I may not have
so fair a face as a citizen or a
courtier; but, for all that, I've
as good blood in my veins, and a heart as sound as a biscuit.
MRS FRAIL. And will you love me always?
BEN. Nay, an I love once, I'll stick like pitch; I'll tell you
that. Come, I'll sing you a song of a sailor.
MRS FRAIL. Hold, there's my sister, I'll call her to hear it.
MRS FORE. Well; I won't go to bed to my husband to-night, because
I'll
retire to my own
chamber, and think of what you have said.