To ca' the howdie.

Wae's me, for the puir callant than!
He wambles like a poke o' bran,

An' the lowse rein, as hard's he can,
Pu's, trem'lin' handit;

Till, blaff! upon his hinderlan'
Behauld him landit.

Sic-like - I awn the weary fac' -
Whan on my muse the gate I tak,

An' see her gleed e'e raxin' back
To keek ahint her; -

To me, the brig o' Heev'n gangs black
As blackest winter.

"LORDSAKE! WE'RE AFF," thinks I, "BUT WHAUR?
ON WHAT ABHORRED AN' WHINNY SCAUR,

OR WHAMMLED IN WHAT SEA O' GLAUR,
WILL SHE DESERT ME?

AN' WILL SHE JUST DISGRACE? OR WAUR -
WILL SHE NO HURT ME?"

Kittle the quaere! But at least
The day I've backed the fashious beast,

While she, wi' mony a spang an' reist,
Flang heels ower bonnet;

An' a' triumphant - for your feast,
Hae! there's your sonnet!

XI - EMBRO HIE KIRK
The Lord Himsel' in former days

Waled out the proper tunes for praise
An' named the proper kind o' claes

For folk to preach in:
Preceese and in the chief o' ways

Important teachin'.
He ordered a' things late and air';

He ordered folk to stand at prayer,
(Although I cannae just mind where

He gave the warnin',)
An' pit pomatum on their hair

On Sabbath mornin'.
The hale o' life by His commands

Was ordered to a body's hands;
But see! this CORPUS JURIS stands

By a' forgotten;
An' God's religion in a' lands

Is deid an' rotten.
While thus the lave o' mankind's lost,

O' Scotland still God maks His boast -
Puir Scotland, on whase barren coast

A score or twa
Auld wives wi' mutches an' a hoast

Still keep His law.
In Scotland, a wheen canty, plain,

Douce, kintry-leevin' folk retain
The Truth - or did so aince - alane

Of a' men leevin';
An' noo just twa o' them remain -

Just Begg an' Niven.
For noo, unfaithfu', to the Lord

Auld Scotland joins the rebel horde;
Her human hymn-books on the board

She noo displays:
An' Embro Hie Kirk's been restored

In popish ways.
O PUNCTUM TEMPORIS for action

To a' o' the reformin' faction,
If yet, by ony act or paction,

Thocht, word, or sermon,
This dark an' damnable transaction

Micht yet determine!
For see - as Doctor Begg explains -

Hoo easy 't's dune! a pickle weans,
Wha in the Hie Street gaither stanes

By his instruction,
The uncovenantit, pentit panes

Ding to destruction.
Up, Niven, or ower late - an' dash

Laigh in the glaur that carnal hash;
Let spires and pews wi' gran' stramash

Thegether fa';
The rumlin' kist o' whustles smash

In pieces sma'.
Noo choose ye out a walie hammer;

About the knottit buttress clam'er;
Alang the steep roof stoyt an' stammer,

A gate mis-chancy;
On the aul' spire, the bells' hie cha'mer,

Dance your bit dancie.
Ding, devel, dunt, destroy, an' ruin,

Wi' carnal stanes the square bestrewin',
Till your loud chaps frae Kyle to Fruin,

Frae Hell to Heeven,
Tell the guid wark that baith are doin' -

Baith Begg an' Niven.
XII - THE SCOTSMAN'S RETURN FROM ABROAD

In a letter from Mr. Thomson to Mr. Johnstone.
In mony a foreign pairt I've been,

An' mony an unco ferlie seen,
Since, Mr. Johnstone, you and I

Last walkit upon Cocklerye.
Wi' gleg, observant een, I pass't

By sea an' land, through East an' Wast,
And still in ilka age an' station

Saw naething but abomination.
In thir uncovenantit lands

The gangrel Scot uplifts his hands
At lack of a' sectarian fush'n,

An' cauld religious destitution.
He rins, puir man, frae place to place,

Tries a' their graceless means o' grace,
Preacher on preacher, kirk on kirk -

This yin a stot an' thon a stirk -
A bletherin' clan, no warth a preen,

As bad as Smith of Aiberdeen!
At last, across the weary faem,

Frae far, outlandish pairts I came.
On ilka side o' me I fand

Fresh tokens o' my native land.
Wi' whatna joy I hailed them a' -

The hilltaps standin' raw by raw,
The public house, the Hielan' birks,

And a' the bonny U.P. kirks!
But maistly thee, the bluid o' Scots,

Frae Maidenkirk to John o' Grots,
The king o' drinks, as I conceive it,

Talisker, Isla, or Glenlivet!
For after years wi' a pockmantie

Frae Zanzibar to Alicante,
In mony a fash and sair affliction

I gie't as my sincereconviction -
Of a' their foreign tricks an' pliskies,

I maist abominate their whiskies.
Nae doot, themsel's, they ken it weel,

An' wi' a hash o' leemon peel,
And ice an' siccan filth, they ettle

The stawsome kind o' goo to settle;
Sic wersh apothecary's broos wi'

As Scotsmen scorn to fyle their moo's wi'.
An', man, I was a blithe hame-comer

Whan first I syndit out my rummer.
Ye should hae seen me then, wi' care

The less important pairts prepare;
Syne, weel contentit wi' it a',

Pour in the sperrits wi' a jaw!
I didnae drink, I didnae speak, -

I only snowkit up the reek.
I was sae pleased therein to paidle,

I sat an' plowtered wi' my ladle.
An' blithe was I, the morrow's morn,

To daunder through the stookit corn,
And after a' my strange mishanters,

Sit doun amang my ain dissenters.
An', man, it was a joy to me

The pu'pit an' the pews to see,
The pennies dirlin' in the plate,

The elders lookin' on in state;
An' 'mang the first, as it befell,

Wha should I see, sir, but yoursel'
I was, and I will no deny it,

At the first gliff a hantle tryit
To see yoursel' in sic a station -

It seemed a doubtfu' dispensation.
The feelin' was a mere digression;

For shune I understood the session,
An' mindin' Aiken an' M'Neil,

I wondered they had dune sae weel.
I saw I had mysel' to blame;

For had I but remained at hame,
Aiblins - though no ava' deservin' 't -

They micht hae named your humble servant.
The kirk was filled, the door was steeked;

Up to the pu'pit ance I keeked;
I was mair pleased than I can tell -

It was the minister himsel'!
Proud, proud was I to see his face,

After sae lang awa' frae grace.
Pleased as I was, I'm no denyin'

Some maitters were not edifyin';
For first I fand - an' here was news! -

Mere hymn-books cockin' in the pews -
A humanised abomination,

Unfit for ony congregation.
Syne, while I still was on the tenter,

I scunnered at the new prezentor;
I thocht him gesterin' an' cauld -

A sair declension frae the auld.
Syne, as though a' the faith was wreckit,

The prayer was not what I'd exspeckit.
Himsel', as it appeared to me,

Was no the man he used to be.
But just as I was growin' vext

He waled a maist judeecious text,
An', launchin' into his prelections,

Swoopt, wi' a skirl, on a' defections.
O what a gale was on my speerit

To hear the p'ints o' doctrine clearit,
And a' the horrors o' damnation

Set furth wi' faithfu' ministration!
Nae shauchlin' testimony here -

We were a' damned, an' that was clear,
I owned, wi' gratitude an' wonder,

He was a pleisure to sit under.
XIII

• disgrace [dis´greis] n.耻辱 vt.玷辱；贬黜 (初中英语单词)
• preach [pri:tʃ] v.宣扬；鼓吹 n.训诫 (初中英语单词)
• barren [´bærən] a.贫瘠的；不生育的 (初中英语单词)
• conceive [kən´si:v] v.设想；表达；怀孕 (初中英语单词)
• sincere [sin´siə] a.真挚的；直率的 (初中英语单词)
• conviction [kən´vikʃən] n.定罪；确信，信服 (初中英语单词)
• humble [´hʌmbəl] a.谦卑的 vt.贬抑 (初中英语单词)
• minister [´ministə] n.部长；大臣 v.伺候 (初中英语单词)
• doctrine [´dɔktrin] n.教义；主义；学说 (初中英语单词)
• gratitude [´grætitju:d] n.感激，感谢 (初中英语单词)
• pickle [´pikəl] n.盐汁；腌菜 v.腌渍 (高中英语单词)
• preacher [´pri:tʃə] n.讲道者，传教士 (高中英语单词)
• therein [ðeə´rin] ad.在那里，在其中 (高中英语单词)
• testimony [´testiməni] n.证明；证据；表明 (高中英语单词)
• damned [dæmd] a.该死的 ad.非常，极 (高中英语单词)
• triumphant [trai´ʌmfənt] a.胜利的；洋洋得意的 (英语四级单词)
• sabbath [´sæbəθ] n.安息日 (英语四级单词)
• blithe [´blaið] a.快乐的；冒失的 (英语六级单词)