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a boy, he might have been observed in many others; he was then
(like the schoolmaster) abroad; and by recent advices, it

would seem he has not yet entirely disappeared.
VI - THE SPAEWIFE

O, I wad like to ken - to the beggar-wife says I -
Why chops are guid to brander and nane sae guid to fry.

An' siller, that's sae braw to keep, is brawer still to
gi'e.

- IT'S GEY AN' EASY SPIERIN', says the beggar-wife to me.
O, I wad like to ken - to the beggar-wife says I -

Hoo a' things come to be whaur we find them when we try,
The lasses in their claes an' the fishes in the sea.

- IT'S GEY AN' EASY SPIERIN', says the beggar-wife to me.
O, I wad like to ken - to the beggar-wife says I -

Why lads are a' to sell an' lasses a' to buy;
An' naebody for dacency but barely twa or three

- IT'S GEY AN' EASY SPIERIN', says the beggar-wife to me.
O, I wad like to ken - to the beggar-wife says I -

Gin death's as shure to men as killin' is to kye,
Why God has filled the yearth sae fu' o' tasty things to

pree.
- IT'S GEY AN' EASY SPIERIN', says the beggar-wife to me.

O, I wad like to ken - to the beggar wife says I -
The reason o' the cause an' the wherefore o' the why,

Wi' mony anither riddle brings the tear into my e'e.
- IT'S GEY AN' EASY SPIERIN', says the beggar-wife to me.

VII - THE BLAST - 1875
It's rainin'. Weet's the gairden sod,

Weet the lang roads whaur gangrels plod -
A maist unceevil thing o' God

In mid July -
If ye'll just curse the sneckdraw, dod!

An' sae wull I!
He's a braw place in Heev'n, ye ken,

An' lea's us puir, forjaskit men
Clamjamfried in the but and ben

He ca's the earth -
A wee bit inconvenient den

No muckle worth;
An' whiles, at orra times, keeks out,

Sees what puir mankind are about;
An' if He can, I've little doubt,

Upsets their plans;
He hates a' mankind, brainch and root,

An' a' that's man's.
An' whiles, whan they tak heart again,

An' life i' the sun looks braw an' plain,
Doun comes a jaw o' droukin' rain

Upon their honours -
God sends a spate outower the plain,

Or mebbe thun'ers.
Lord safe us, life's an unco thing!

Simmer an' Winter, Yule an' Spring,
The damned, dour-heartit seasons bring

A feck o' trouble.
I wadnae try't to be a king -

No, nor for double.
But since we're in it, willy-nilly,

We maun be watchfu', wise an' skilly,
An' no mind ony ither billy,

Lassie nor God.
But drink - that's my best counsel till 'e:

Sae tak the nod.
VIII - THE COUNTERBLAST - 1886

My bonny man, the warld, it's true,
Was made for neither me nor you;

It's just a place to warstle through,
As job confessed o't;

And aye the best that we'll can do
Is mak the best o't.

There's rowth o' wrang, I'm free to say:
The simmer brunt, the winter blae,

The face of earth a' fyled wi' clay
An' dour wi' chuckies,

An' life a rough an' land'art play
For country buckies.

An' food's anither name for clart;
An' beasts an' brambles bite an' scart;

An' what would WE be like, my heart!
If bared o' claethin'?

- Aweel, I cannae mend your cart:
It's that or naethin'.

A feek o' folk frae first to last
Have through this queer experience passed;

Twa-three, I ken, just damn an' blast
The hale transaction;

But twa-three ithers, east an' wast,
Fand satisfaction,

Whaur braid the briery muirs expand,
A waefu'an' a weary land,

The bumblebees, a gowden band,
Are blithely hingin';

An' there the canty wanderer fand
The laverock singin'.

Trout in the burn grow great as herr'n,
The simple sheep can find their fair'n';

The wind blaws clean about the cairn
Wi' caller air;

The muircock an' the barefit bairn
Are happy there.

Sic-like the howes o' life to some:
Green loans whaur they ne'er fash their thumb.

But mark the muckle winds that come
Soopin' an' cool,

Or hear the powrin' burnie drum
In the shilfa's pool.

The evil wi' the guid they tak;
They ca' a gray thing gray, no black;

To a steigh brae, a stubborn back
Addressin' daily;

An' up the rude, unbieldy track
O' life, gang gaily.

What you would like's a palace ha',
Or Sinday parlour dink an' braw

Wi' a' things ordered in a raw
By denty leddies.

Weel, than, ye cannae hae't: that's a'
That to be said is.

An' since at life ye've taen the grue,
An' winnae blithely hirsle through,

Ye've fund the very thing to do -
That's to drink speerit;

An' shune we'll hear the last o' you -
An' blithe to hear it!

The shoon ye coft, the life ye lead,
Ithers will heir when aince ye're deid;

They'll heir your tasteless bite o' breid,
An' find it sappy;

They'll to your dulefu' house succeed,
An' there be happy.

As whan a glum an' fractious wean
Has sat an' sullened by his lane

Till, wi' a rowstin' skelp, he's taen
An' shoo'd to bed -

The ither bairns a' fa' to play'n',
As gleg's a gled.

IX - THE COUNTERBLAST IRONICAL
It's strange that God should fash to frame

The yearth and lift sae hie,
An' clean forget to explain the same

To a gentleman like me.
They gutsy, donnered ither folk,

Their weird they weel may dree;
But why present a pig in a poke

To a gentleman like me?
They ither folk their parritch eat

An' sup their sugared tea;
But the mind is no to be wyled wi' meat

Wi' a gentleman like me.
They ither folk, they court their joes

At gloamin' on the lea;
But they're made of a commoner clay, I suppose,

Than a gentleman like me.
They ither folk, for richt or wrang,

They suffer, bleed, or dee;
But a' thir things are an emp'y sang

To a gentleman like me.
It's a different thing that I demand,

Tho' humble as can be -
A statement fair in my Maker's hand

To a gentleman like me:
A clear account writ fair an' broad,

An' a plain apologie;
Or the deevil a ceevil word to God

From a gentleman like me.
X - THEIR LAUREATE TO AN ACADEMY CLASS DINNER CLUB

Dear Thamson class, whaure'er I gang
It aye comes ower me wi' a spang:

"LORDSAKE! THEY THAMSON LADS - (DEIL HANG
OR ELSE LORD MEND THEM!) -

AN' THAT WANCHANCY ANNUAL SANG
I NE'ER CAN SEND THEM!"

Straucht, at the name, a trusty tyke,
My conscience girrs ahint the dyke;

Straucht on my hinderlands I fyke
To find a rhyme t' ye;

Pleased - although mebbe no pleased-like -
To gie my time t'ye.

"WEEL," an' says you, wi' heavin' breist,
"SAE FAR, SAE GUID, BUT WHAT'S THE NEIST?

YEARLY WE GAITHER TO THE FEAST,
A' HOPEFU' MEN -

YEARLY WE SKELLOCH `HANG THE BEAST -
NAE SANG AGAIN!' "

My lads, an' what am I to say?
Ye shurely ken the Muse's way:

Yestreen, as gleg's a tyke - the day,
Thrawn like a cuddy:

Her conduc', that to her's a play,
Deith to a body.

Aft whan I sat an' made my mane,
Aft whan I laboured burd-alane

Fishin' for rhymes an' findin' nane,
Or nane were fit for ye -

Ye judged me cauld's a chucky stane -
No car'n' a bit for ye!

But saw ye ne'er some pingein' bairn
As weak as a pitaty-par'n' -

Less used wi' guidin' horse-shoe airn
Than steerin' crowdie -

Packed aff his lane, by moss an' cairn,


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