appearance of any one else, and led him in the most natural
manner into the new but already very pleasant shrubbery.
In some indefinable special way the
bishop had been aware of
Lady Sunderbund's presence since first he had met her, but it was
only now that he could observe her with any particularity. She
was tall like his own Lady Ella but not calm and quiet; she was
electric, her eyes, her smiles, her
complexion had as it were an
established
brightness that exceeded the common lustre of things.
This morning she was dressed in grey that was
nevertheless not
grey but had an effect of colour, and there was a thread of black
along the lines of her body and a gleam of gold. She carried her
head back with less
dignity than pride; there was a little frozen
movement in her dark hair as if it flamed up out of her head.
There were silver ornaments in her hair. She spoke with a pretty
little
weakness of the r's that had probably been acquired
abroad. And she lost no time in telling him, she was eager to
tell him, that she had been waylaying him. "I did so want to talk
to you some maw," she said. "I was shy last night and they we'
all so noisy and eaga'. I p'ayed that you might come down early.
"It's an oppo'tunity I've longed for," she said.
She did her very pretty best to
convey what it was had been
troubling her. 'iligion bad been worrying her for years. Life was
--oh--just ornaments and games and so wea'isome, so wea'isome,
unless it was 'iligious. And she couldn't get it 'iligious.
The
bishop nodded his head
gravely.
"You unde'stand?" she pressed.
"I understand too well--the attempt to get hold--and keep
hold."
"I knew you would!" she cried.
She went on with an
impulsiverapidity. O'thodoxy had always
'ipelled her,--always. She had felt herself confronted by the
most insurmountable difficulties, and yet
whenever she had gone
away from Christianity--she had gone away from Christianity, to
the Theosophists and the Christian Scientists--she had felt she
was only "st'aying fu'tha." And then suddenly when he was
speaking last night, she had felt he knew. It was so wonderful to
hear the "k'eed was only a
symbol."
"Symbol is the proper name for it," said the
bishop. "It wasn't
for centuries it was called the Creed."
Yes, and so what it really meant was something quite different
from what it did mean.
The
bishop felt that this
sentence also was only a
symbol, and
nodded encouragingly--but
gravely, warily.
And there she was, and the point was there were thousands and
thousands and thousands of educated people like her who were
dying to get through these
old-fashionedsymbols to the true
faith that lay behind them. That they knew lay behind them. She
didn't know if he had read "The Light under the Altar"?
"He's vicar of Wombash--in my diocese," said the
bishop with
restraint.
"It's wonde'ful stuff," said Lady Sunderbund. "It's spi'tually
cold, but it's
intellectually wonde'ful. But we want that with
spi'tuality. We want it so badly. If some one--"
She became
daring. She bit her under lip and flashed her spirit
at him.
"If you--" she said and paused.
"Could think aloud," said the
bishop.
"Yes," she said, nodding rapidly, and became
breathless to
hear.
It would certainly be an
astonishing end to the Chasters
difficulty if the
bishop went over to the
heretic, the
bishopreflected.
"My dear lady, I won't disguise," he began; "in fact I don't
see how I could, that for some years I have been growing more and
more
discontented with some of our most
fundamental formulae. But
it's been very largely a
shapeless discontent--hitherto. I
don't think I've said a word to a single soul. No, not a word.
You are the first person to whom I've ever made the admission
that even my feelings are at times un
orthodox."
She lit up marvellously at his words. "Go on," she whispered.
But she did not need to tell him to go on. Now that he had once
broached the
casket of his reserves he was only too glad of a
listener. He talked as if they were
intimate and
loving friends,
and so it seemed to both of them they were. It was a wonderful
release from a long and
painful solitude.
To certain types it is never quite clear what has happened to
them until they tell it. So that now the
bishop, punctuated very
prettily by Lady Sunderbund, began to
measure for the first time
the
extent of his
departure from the old innate convictions of
Otteringham Rectory. He said that it was strange to find doubt
coming so late in life, but perhaps it was only in recent years
that his faith had been put to any really
severe tests. It had
been sheltered and unchallenged.
"This
fearful wa'," Lady Sunderbund interjected.
But Princhester had been a
critical and
trying change, and "The
Light under the Altar" case had ploughed him deeply. It was
curious that his doubts always seemed to have a double strand;
there was a moral
objection based on the church's practical
futility and an
intellectual strand subordinated to this which
traced that futility largely to its unconvincing formulae.
"And yet you know," said the
bishop, "I find I can't go with
Chasters. He beats at the church; he treats her as though she
were wrong. I feel like a son, growing up, who finds his mother
isn't quite so clear-spoken nor quite so
energetic as she seemed
to be once. She's right, I feel sure. I've never doubted her
fundamental goodness."
"Yes," said Lady Sunderbund, very
eagerly, "yes."
"And yet there's this futility.... You know, my dear lady, I
don't know what to do. One feels on the one hand, that here is a
cloud of
witnesses, great men, sainted men, subtle men, figures
permanently
historical, before whom one can do nothing but bow
down in the
utmosthumility, here is a great
instrument and
organization--what would the world be without the
witness of the
church?--and on the other hand here are our masses out of hand
and
hostile, our
industrial leaders
equallyhostile; there is a
failure to grip, and that
failure to grip is so clearly traceable
to the fact that our ideas are not modern ideas, that when we
come to
profess our faith we find nothing in our mouths but
antiquated Alexandrian subtleties and phrases and ideas that may
have been quite alive, quite
significant, quite
adequate in Asia
Minor or Egypt, among men
essentially orientals, fifteen hundred
years ago, but which now--?
He expressed just what they came to now by a gesture.
She echoed his gesture.
"Probably I'm not alone among my brethren," he went on, and
then: "But what is one to do?"
With her hands she acted her sense of his difficulty.
"One may be precipitate," he said. "There's a kind of loyalty
and
discipline that requires one to keep the ranks until one's
course of action is
perfectly clear. One owes so much to so many.
One has to consider how one may affect--oh! people one has never
seen."
He was lugging things now into speech that so far had been
scarcely above the
threshold of his
conscious thought. He went on
to discuss the entire position of the disbelieving cleric. He
discovered a fine point.
"If there was something else, an
alternative, another religion,
another Church, to which one could go, the whole case would be