that this
wretched Hyperbolus has given them the cue, have never
ceased
setting upon both him and his mother. First Eupolis presented
his 'Maricas'; this was simply my 'Knights,' whom this plagiarist
had clumsily furbished up again by adding to the piece an old
drunken woman, so that she might dance the cordax. It was an old idea,
taken from Phrynichus, who caused his old hag to be devoured by a
monster of the deep. Then Hermippus fell foul of Hyperbolus and now
all the others fall upon him and repeat my
comparison of the eels. May
those who find
amusement in their pieces not be pleased with mine, but
as for you, who love and
applaud my inventions, why,
posterity will
praise your good taste.
FIRST SEMI-CHORUS (singing)
Oh, ruler of Olympus, all-powerful king of the gods, great Zeus,
it is thou whom I first
invoke; protect this
chorus; and thou too,
Posidon, whose dread trident upheaves at the will of thy anger both
the bowels of the earth and the salty waves of the ocean. I
invokemy
illustrious father, the
divine Aether, the
universal sustainer of
life, and Phoebus, who, from the
summit of his
chariot, sets the world
aflame with his dazzling rays, Phoebus, a
mighty deity
amongst the
gods and adored
amongst mortals.
LEADER OF FIRST SEMI-CHORUS
Most wise spectators, lend us all your attention. Give heed to our
just reproaches. There exist no gods to whom this city owes more
than it does to us, whom alone you forget. Not a sacrifice, not a
libation is there for those who protect you! Have you decreed some mad
expedition? Well! we
thunder or we fall down in rain. When you chose
that enemy of heaven, the Paphlagonian
tanner, for a general, we
knitted our brow, we caused our wrath to break out; the
lightning shot
forth, the
thunder pealed, the moon deserted her course and the sun at
once veiled his beam threatening, no longer to give you light, if
Cleon became general. Nevertheless you elected him; it is said, Athens
never resolves upon some fatal step but the gods turn these errors
into her greatest gain. Do you wish that his
election should even
now be a success for you? It is a very simple thing to do; condemn
this rapacious gull named Cleon for bribery and extortion, fit a
wooden
collar tight round his neck, and your error will be rectified
and the commonweal will at once
regain its old prosperity.
SECOND SEMI-CHORUS (singing)
Aid me also, Phoebus, god of Delos, who reignest on the cragged
peaks of Cynthia; and thou, happy
virgin, to whom the Lydian damsels
offer pompous sacrifice in a
temple; of gold; and thou,
goddess of our
country, Athene, armed with the aegis, the protectress of Athens;
and thou, who, surrounded by the bacchants of Delphi; roamest over the
rocks of Parnassus shaking the flame of thy resinous torch, thou,
Bacchus, the god of revel and joy.
LEADER OF SECOND SEMI-CHORUS
As we were preparing to come here, we were hailed by the Moon
and were charged to wish joy and happiness both to the Athenians and
to their
allies; further, she said that she was enraged and that you
treated her very shamefully, her, who does not pay you in words alone,
but who renders you all real benefits. Firstly, thanks to her, you
save at least a drachma each month for lights, for each, as he is
leaving home at night, says, "Slave, buy no torches, for the moonlight
is beautiful,"-not to name a thousand other benefits. Nevertheless you
do not
reckon the days
correctly and your
calendar is
naught but
confusion. Consequently the gods load her with threats each time
they get home and are disappointed of their meal, because the festival
has not been kept in the regular order of time. When you should be
sacrificing, you are putting to the
torture or administering
justice. And often, we others, the gods, are fasting in token of
mourning for the death of Memnon or Sarpedon, while you are devoting
yourselves to
joyous libations. It is for this, that last year, when
the lot would have invested Hyperbolus with the duty of Amphictyon, we
took his crown from him, to teach him that time must be divided
according to the phases of the moon.
SOCRATES (coming out)
By Respiration, the Breath of Life! By Chaos! By the Air! I have
never seen a man so gross, so inept, so
stupid, so forgetful. All
the little quibbles, which I teach him, he forgets even before he
has
learnt them. Yet I will not give it up, I will make him come out
here into the open air. Where are you, Strepsiades? Come, bring your
couch out here.
STREPSIADES (from within)
But the bugs will not allow me to bring it.
SOCRATES
Have done with such
nonsense! place it there and pay attention.
STREPSIADES (coming out, with the bed)
Well, here I am.
SOCRATES
Good! Which science of all those you have never been taught, do
you wish to learn first? The
measures, the
rhythms or the verses?
STREPSIADES
Why, the
measures; the flour
dealer cheated me out of two
choenixes the other day.
SOCRATES
It's not about that I ask you, but which, according to you, is the
best
measure, the trimeter or the tetrameter?
STREPSIADES
The one I prefer is the semisextarius.
SOCRATES
You talk
nonsense, my good fellow.
STREPSIADES
I will wager your tetrameter is the semisextarius.
SOCRATES
Plague seize the dunce and the fool! Come,
perchance you will
learn the
rhythms quicker.
STREPSIADES
Will the
rhythms supply me with food?
SOCRATES
First they will help you to be pleasant in company, then to know
what is meant by enhoplian
rhythm and what by the dactylic.
STREPSIADES
Of the dactyl? I know that quite well.
SOCRATES
What is it then, other than this finger here?
STREPSIADES
Formerly, when a child, I used this one.
SOCRATES
You are as low-minded as you are
stupid.
STREPSIADES
But,
wretched man, I do not want to learn all this.
SOCRATES
Then what do you want to know?
STREPSIADES
Not that, not that, but the art of false reasoning.
SOCRATES
But you must first learn other things. Come, what are the male
quadrupeds?
STREPSIADES
Oh! I know the males
thoroughly. Do you take me for a fool then?
The ram, the buck, the bull, the dog, the
pigeon.
SOCRATES
Do you see what you are doing; is not the
femalepigeon called the
same as the male?
STREPSIADES
How else? Come now!
SOCRATES
How else? With you then it's
pigeon and
pigeon!
STREPSIADES
That's right, by Posidon! but what names do you want me to give
them?
SOCRATES
Term the
femalepigeonnette and the male
pigeon.
STREPSIADES
Pigeonnette! hah! by the Air! That's splendid! for that lesson
bring out your kneading-
trough and I will fill him with flour to the
brim.
SOCRATES
There you are wrong again; you make
troughmasculine and it should
be feminine.
STREPSIADES
What? if I say, him, do I make the
troughmasculine?
SOCRATES
Assuredly! would you not say him for Cleonymus?
STREPSIADES
Well?
SOCRATES
Then
trough is of the same gender as Cleonymus?
STREPSIADES
My good man! Cleonymus never had a kneading-
trough; he used a
round
mortar for the purpose. But come, tell me what I should say!
SOCRATES
For
trough you should say her as you would for Soctrate.
STREPSIADES
Her?
SOCRATES
In this manner you make it truly
female.
STREPSIADES
That's it! Her for
trough and her for Cleonymus.
SOCRATE,"
Now I must teach you to
distinguish the
masculine proper names
from those that are feminine.
STREPSIADES
Ah! I know the
female names well.
SOCRATES
Name some then.
STREPSIADES
Lysilla, Philinna, Clitagora, Demetria.
SOCRATES
And what are
masculine names?
STREPSIADES
They are are countless-Philoxenus, Melesias, Amynias.
SOCRATES
But,
wretched man, the last two are not
masculine.
STREPSIADES
You do not count them as
masculine?
SOCRATES
Not at all. If you met Amynias, how would you hail him?
STREPSIADES
How? Why, I should shout, "Hi, there, Amynia!
SOCRATES
Do you see? it's a
female name that you give him.
STREPSIADES
And is it not
rightly done, since he refuses military service? But
what use is there in
learning what we all know?
SOCRATES
You know nothing about it. Come, lie down there.
STREPSIADES
What for?
SOCRATES
Ponder
awhile over matters that interest you.
STREPSIADES
Oh! I pray you, not there but, if I must lie down and ponder,
let me lie on the ground.
SOCRATES
That's out of the question. Come! on the couch!
STREPSIADES (as he lies down)
What cruel fate! What a
torture the bugs will this day put me to!
(Socrates turns aside.)
CHORUS (singing)
Ponder and examine closely, gather your thoughts together, let