章节正文
You would kill me next.''
``Stuff!'' said I, and ran down-stairs. I
seized my coat and hat, and went to the
tavern, where I got a man to drive me to
Camden. I have never seen Pen since. As
I crossed the ferry to Philadelphia I saw that
I should have asked when the detective had
been after me. I suspected from Pen's terror
that it had been recently.
It was Sunday and, as I reminded myself,
the day before Christmas. The ground was
covered with snow, and as I walked up Market
street my feet were soon soaked. In my
haste I had left my overshoes. I was very
cold, and, as I now see, foolishlyfearful. I
kept thinking of what a conspicuous thing a
fire-red head is, and of how many people
knew me. As I reached Woodbury early
and without a cent, I had eaten nothing all
day. I relied on Pen.
Now I concluded to go down into my old
neighborhood and get a lodging where no
references were asked. Next day I would
secure a disguise and get out of the way. I
had passed the day without food, as I have
just said, and having ample means, concluded
to go somewhere and get a good dinner. It
was now close to three in the afternoon. I
was aware of two things: that I was making
many plans, and giving them up as soon as
made; and that I was suddenly afraid without
cause, afraid to enter an eating-house,
and in fear of every man I met.
I went on, feeling more and more chilly.
When a man is really cold his mind does not
work well, and now it was blowing a keen
gale from the north. At Second and South
I came plump on a policeman I knew. He
looked at me through the drifting snow, as if
he was uncertain, and twice looked back after
having passed me. I turned west at Christian
street. When I looked behind me the
man was standing at the corner, staring after
me. At the next turn I hurried away northward
in a sort of anguish of terror. I have
said I was an uncommon person. I am. I
am sensitive, too. My mind is much above
the average, but unless I am warm and well
fed it does not act well, and I make mistakes.
At that time I was half frozen, in need of
food, and absurdly scared. Then that old fool
squirming on the floor got on to my nerves.
I went on and on, and at last into Second
street, until I came to Christ Church, of all
places for me. I heard the sound of the
organ in the afternoon service. I felt I must
go in and get warm. Here was another silly
notion: I was afraid of hotels, but not of the
church. I reasoned vaguely that it was a
dark day, and darker in the church, and so I
went in at the Church Alley entrance and sat
near the north door. No one noticed me. I
sat still in a high-backed pew, well hid, and
wondering what was the matter with me. It
was curious that a doctor, and a man of my
intelligence, should have been long in guessing
a thing so simple.
For two months I had been drinking hard,
and for two days had quit, being a man capable
of great self-control, and also being
short of money. Just before the benediction
I saw a man near by who seemed to stare at
me. In deadly fear I got up and quickly
slipped through a door into the tower room.
I said to myself, ``He will follow me or wait
outside.'' I stood a moment with my head
all of a whirl, and then in a shiver of fear
ran up the stairs to the tower until I got
into the bell-ringer's room. I was safe. I
sat down on a stool, twitching and tremulous.
There were the old books on bell-ringing, and
the miniature chime of small bells for
instruction. The wind had easy entrance, and
it swung the eight ropes about in a way I did
not like. I remember saying, ``Oh, don't do
that.'' At last I had a mad desire to ring
one of the bells. As a loop of rope swung
toward me it seemed to hold a face, and this
face cried out, ``Come and hang yourself;
then the bell will ring.''
If I slept I do not know. I may have done
so. Certainly I must have stayed there many
hours. I was dull and confused, and yet on
my guard, for when far into the night I
heard noises below, I ran up the steeper
steps which ascend to the steeple, where are
the bells. Half-way up I sat down on the
stair. The place was cold and the darkness
deep. Then I heard the eight ringers down
below. One said: ``Never knowed a Christmas
like this since Zeb Sanderaft died. Come,
boys!'' I knew it must be close on to mid-
night. Now they would play a Christmas
carol. I used every Christmas to be roused
up and carried here and set on dad's shoulder.
When they were done ringing, Number Two
always gave me a box of sugar-plums and a
large red apple. As they rang off, my father
would cry out, ``One, two,'' and so on, and
then cry, ``Elias, all over town people are
opening windows to listen.'' I seemed to
hear him as I sat in the gloom. Then I
heard, ``All ready; one, two,'' and they rang
the Christmas carol. Overhead I heard the
great bells ringing out:
And all the bells on earth shall ring
On Christmas day, on Christmas day.
I felt suddenly excited, and began to hum
the air. Great heavens! There was the old
woman, Aunt Rachel, with her face going
twitch, twitch, the croak of her breathing
keeping a sort of mad time with ``On Christmas
day, on Christmas day.'' I jumped up.
She was gone. I knew in a hazy sort of way
what was the matter with me, but I had still
the sense to sit down and wait. I said now
it would be snakes, for once before I had
been almost as bad. But what I did see was
a little curly-headed boy in a white frock and
pantalets, climbing up the stairs right leg
first; so queer of me to have noticed that. I
knew I was that boy. He was an innocent-
looking little chap, and was smiling. He
seemed to me to grow and grow, and at last
was a big, red-headed man with a live rat in his
hand. I saw nothing more, but I surely
knew I needed whisky. I waited until all
was still, and got down and out, for I knew
every window. I soon found a tavern, and
got a drink and some food. At once my fear
left me. I was warm at last and clear of
head, and had again my natural courage. I
was well aware that I was on the edge of
delirium tremens and must be most prudent.
I paid in advance for my room and treated
myself as I had done many another. Only a
man of unusual force could have managed
his own case as I did. I went out only at
night, and in a week was well enough to
travel. During this time I saw now and
then that grinning little fellow. Sometimes
he had an apple and was eating it. I do not
know why he was worse to me than snakes,
or the twitchy old woman with her wide eyes
of glass, and that jerk, jerk, to right.
I decided to go back to Boston. I got to
New York prudently in a roundabout way,
and in two weeks' time was traveling east
from Albany.
I felt well, and my spirits began at last to
rise to their usual level. When I arrived in
Boston I set myself to thinking how best I
could contrive to enjoy life and at the same
time to increase my means. I possessed sufficient
capital, and was able and ready to embark
in whatever promised the best returns
with the smallest personal risks. I settled
myself in a suburb, paid off a few pressing
claims, and began to reflect with my ordinary
sagacity.
We were now in the midst of a most absurd
war with the South, and it was becoming
difficult to escape the net of conscription. It
might be wise to think of this in time.
Europe seemed a desirableresidence, but I
needed more money to make this agreeable,
and an investment for my brains was what
I wanted most. Many schemes presented
themselves as worthy the application of
industry and talent, but none of them altogether
suited my case. I thought at times
of traveling as a physiological lecturer,
combining with it the business of a practitioner:
scare the audience at night with an enumeration
of symptoms which belong to ten out of
every dozen healthy people, and then doctor
such of them as are gulls enough to consult
me next day. The bigger the fright the
better the pay. I was a little timid, however,
about facing large audiences, as a man
will be naturally if he has lived a life of
adventure, so that upon due consideration I
gave up the idea altogether.
The patent medicine business also looked
well enough, but it is somewhat overdone at
all times, and requires a heavy outlay, with
the probable result of ill success. Indeed, I
believe one hundred quack remedies fail for
one that succeeds, and millions must have
been wasted in placards, bills, and advertisements,
which never returned half their value
``Stuff!'' said I, and ran down-stairs. I
seized my coat and hat, and went to the
tavern, where I got a man to drive me to
Camden. I have never seen Pen since. As
I crossed the ferry to Philadelphia I saw that
I should have asked when the detective had
been after me. I suspected from Pen's terror
that it had been recently.
It was Sunday and, as I reminded myself,
the day before Christmas. The ground was
covered with snow, and as I walked up Market
street my feet were soon soaked. In my
haste I had left my overshoes. I was very
cold, and, as I now see, foolishlyfearful. I
kept thinking of what a conspicuous thing a
fire-red head is, and of how many people
knew me. As I reached Woodbury early
and without a cent, I had eaten nothing all
day. I relied on Pen.
Now I concluded to go down into my old
neighborhood and get a lodging where no
references were asked. Next day I would
secure a disguise and get out of the way. I
had passed the day without food, as I have
just said, and having ample means, concluded
to go somewhere and get a good dinner. It
was now close to three in the afternoon. I
was aware of two things: that I was making
many plans, and giving them up as soon as
made; and that I was suddenly afraid without
cause, afraid to enter an eating-house,
and in fear of every man I met.
I went on, feeling more and more chilly.
When a man is really cold his mind does not
work well, and now it was blowing a keen
gale from the north. At Second and South
I came plump on a policeman I knew. He
looked at me through the drifting snow, as if
he was uncertain, and twice looked back after
having passed me. I turned west at Christian
street. When I looked behind me the
man was standing at the corner, staring after
me. At the next turn I hurried away northward
in a sort of anguish of terror. I have
said I was an uncommon person. I am. I
am sensitive, too. My mind is much above
the average, but unless I am warm and well
fed it does not act well, and I make mistakes.
At that time I was half frozen, in need of
food, and absurdly scared. Then that old fool
squirming on the floor got on to my nerves.
I went on and on, and at last into Second
street, until I came to Christ Church, of all
places for me. I heard the sound of the
organ in the afternoon service. I felt I must
go in and get warm. Here was another silly
notion: I was afraid of hotels, but not of the
church. I reasoned vaguely that it was a
dark day, and darker in the church, and so I
went in at the Church Alley entrance and sat
near the north door. No one noticed me. I
sat still in a high-backed pew, well hid, and
wondering what was the matter with me. It
was curious that a doctor, and a man of my
intelligence, should have been long in guessing
a thing so simple.
For two months I had been drinking hard,
and for two days had quit, being a man capable
of great self-control, and also being
short of money. Just before the benediction
I saw a man near by who seemed to stare at
me. In deadly fear I got up and quickly
slipped through a door into the tower room.
I said to myself, ``He will follow me or wait
outside.'' I stood a moment with my head
all of a whirl, and then in a shiver of fear
ran up the stairs to the tower until I got
into the bell-ringer's room. I was safe. I
sat down on a stool, twitching and tremulous.
There were the old books on bell-ringing, and
the miniature chime of small bells for
instruction. The wind had easy entrance, and
it swung the eight ropes about in a way I did
not like. I remember saying, ``Oh, don't do
that.'' At last I had a mad desire to ring
one of the bells. As a loop of rope swung
toward me it seemed to hold a face, and this
face cried out, ``Come and hang yourself;
then the bell will ring.''
If I slept I do not know. I may have done
so. Certainly I must have stayed there many
hours. I was dull and confused, and yet on
my guard, for when far into the night I
heard noises below, I ran up the steeper
steps which ascend to the steeple, where are
the bells. Half-way up I sat down on the
stair. The place was cold and the darkness
deep. Then I heard the eight ringers down
below. One said: ``Never knowed a Christmas
like this since Zeb Sanderaft died. Come,
boys!'' I knew it must be close on to mid-
night. Now they would play a Christmas
carol. I used every Christmas to be roused
up and carried here and set on dad's shoulder.
When they were done ringing, Number Two
always gave me a box of sugar-plums and a
large red apple. As they rang off, my father
would cry out, ``One, two,'' and so on, and
then cry, ``Elias, all over town people are
opening windows to listen.'' I seemed to
hear him as I sat in the gloom. Then I
heard, ``All ready; one, two,'' and they rang
the Christmas carol. Overhead I heard the
great bells ringing out:
And all the bells on earth shall ring
On Christmas day, on Christmas day.
I felt suddenly excited, and began to hum
the air. Great heavens! There was the old
woman, Aunt Rachel, with her face going
twitch, twitch, the croak of her breathing
keeping a sort of mad time with ``On Christmas
day, on Christmas day.'' I jumped up.
She was gone. I knew in a hazy sort of way
what was the matter with me, but I had still
the sense to sit down and wait. I said now
it would be snakes, for once before I had
been almost as bad. But what I did see was
a little curly-headed boy in a white frock and
pantalets, climbing up the stairs right leg
first; so queer of me to have noticed that. I
knew I was that boy. He was an innocent-
looking little chap, and was smiling. He
seemed to me to grow and grow, and at last
was a big, red-headed man with a live rat in his
hand. I saw nothing more, but I surely
knew I needed whisky. I waited until all
was still, and got down and out, for I knew
every window. I soon found a tavern, and
got a drink and some food. At once my fear
left me. I was warm at last and clear of
head, and had again my natural courage. I
was well aware that I was on the edge of
delirium tremens and must be most prudent.
I paid in advance for my room and treated
myself as I had done many another. Only a
man of unusual force could have managed
his own case as I did. I went out only at
night, and in a week was well enough to
travel. During this time I saw now and
then that grinning little fellow. Sometimes
he had an apple and was eating it. I do not
know why he was worse to me than snakes,
or the twitchy old woman with her wide eyes
of glass, and that jerk, jerk, to right.
I decided to go back to Boston. I got to
New York prudently in a roundabout way,
and in two weeks' time was traveling east
from Albany.
I felt well, and my spirits began at last to
rise to their usual level. When I arrived in
Boston I set myself to thinking how best I
could contrive to enjoy life and at the same
time to increase my means. I possessed sufficient
capital, and was able and ready to embark
in whatever promised the best returns
with the smallest personal risks. I settled
myself in a suburb, paid off a few pressing
claims, and began to reflect with my ordinary
sagacity.
We were now in the midst of a most absurd
war with the South, and it was becoming
difficult to escape the net of conscription. It
might be wise to think of this in time.
Europe seemed a desirableresidence, but I
needed more money to make this agreeable,
and an investment for my brains was what
I wanted most. Many schemes presented
themselves as worthy the application of
industry and talent, but none of them altogether
suited my case. I thought at times
of traveling as a physiological lecturer,
combining with it the business of a practitioner:
scare the audience at night with an enumeration
of symptoms which belong to ten out of
every dozen healthy people, and then doctor
such of them as are gulls enough to consult
me next day. The bigger the fright the
better the pay. I was a little timid, however,
about facing large audiences, as a man
will be naturally if he has lived a life of
adventure, so that upon due consideration I
gave up the idea altogether.
The patent medicine business also looked
well enough, but it is somewhat overdone at
all times, and requires a heavy outlay, with
the probable result of ill success. Indeed, I
believe one hundred quack remedies fail for
one that succeeds, and millions must have
been wasted in placards, bills, and advertisements,
which never returned half their value
- detective [di´tektiv]
n.侦探 a.侦探的 (初中英语单词) - fearful [´fiəfəl] a.可怕的；担心的 (初中英语单词)
- disguise [dis´gaiz] vt.假装；隐瞒 n.伪装 (初中英语单词)
- policeman [pə´li:smən] n.警察 (初中英语单词)
- uncertain [ʌn´sə:tn] a.不定的；不可靠的 (初中英语单词)
- standing [´stændiŋ] n.持续 a.直立的 (初中英语单词)
- terror [´terə] n.恐怖；惊骇 (初中英语单词)
- frozen [´frəuzn] freeze 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
- christ [kraist] n.基督 int.天啊! (初中英语单词)
- deadly [´dedli] a.致命的 ad.死一般地 (初中英语单词)
- shiver [´ʃivə] v.&n.(使)颤抖；碎片 (初中英语单词)
- ascend [ə´send] v.登；上升；追溯 (初中英语单词)
- overhead [´əuvə,hed] ad.当头 a.在头上的 (初中英语单词)
- unusual [ʌn´ju:ʒuəl] a.不平常的；异常的 (初中英语单词)
- whatever [wɔt´evə] pron.&a.无论什么 (初中英语单词)
- reflect [ri´flekt] v.反射；反响；表达 (初中英语单词)
- desirable [di´zaiərəbəl] a.向往的；极好的 (初中英语单词)
- residence [´rezidəns] n.居住(期间)；住宅 (初中英语单词)
- investment [in´vestmənt] n.投资；(时间等)投入 (初中英语单词)
- worthy [´wə:ði] a.有价值的；值得的 (初中英语单词)
- application [,æpli´keiʃən] n.申请；申请书；应用 (初中英语单词)
- talent [´tælənt] n.天才；才干；天资 (初中英语单词)
- audience [´ɔ:diəns] n.听众；观众；接见 (初中英语单词)
- healthy [´helθi] a.健康的 (初中英语单词)
- fright [frait] n.惊吓；恐怖；怪人 (初中英语单词)
- consideration [kən,sidə´reiʃən] n.考虑；原因；体谅 (初中英语单词)
- patent [´peitənt, ´pæ-] a.专利的 n.专利品 (初中英语单词)
- probable [´prɔbəbəl] a.大概的n.很可能的事 (初中英语单词)
- conspicuous [kən´spikjuəs] a.显著的；出众的 (高中英语单词)
- lodging [´lɔdʒiŋ] n.寄宿，住宿 (高中英语单词)
- hurried [´hʌrid] a.仓促的，慌忙的 (高中英语单词)
- anguish [´æŋgwiʃ] n.(极度的)痛苦；苦恼 (高中英语单词)
- sensitive [´sensitiv] a.敏感的；感光的 (高中英语单词)
- miniature [´miniətʃə] n.缩样 a.雏型的 (高中英语单词)
- saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)
- half-way [´hɑ:fwei] ad.半途；几乎 (高中英语单词)
- tavern [´tævən] n.小酒馆；客栈 (高中英语单词)
- decided [di´saidid] a.明显的；决定的 (高中英语单词)
- contrive [kən´traiv] v.发明；设计；图谋 (高中英语单词)
- suburb [´sʌbə:b] n.郊区；附近 (高中英语单词)
- uncommon [ʌn´kɔmən] a.非常的，非凡的，罕见的 (英语四级单词)
- vaguely [´veigli] ad.含糊地，暖昧地 (英语四级单词)
- steeple [´sti:pəl] n.(礼拜堂等的)尖塔 (英语四级单词)
- twitch [twitʃ] v.&n.(使)抽动；急拉 (英语四级单词)
- foolishly [´fu:liʃli] ad.愚蠢地 (英语六级单词)
- self-control [,self´kəntrəul] n.自我克制 (英语六级单词)
- roundabout [´raundəbaut] a.&n.间接的(方式) (英语六级单词)
- outlay [´autlei] n.费用 vt.支付；花费 (英语六级单词)
文章标签:名著
章节正文
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