a tomfool of a madcap lass has written down upon a piece of paper? You
know yourself with what respect I have behaved - and would do always."
"Yet you would show me that same letter!" says she. "I want no such
friends. I can be doing very well, Mr. Balfour, without her - or you."
"This is your fine gratitude!" says I.
"I am very much obliged to you," said she. "I will be asking you to
take away your - letters." She seemed to choke upon the word, so that
it sounded like an oath.
"You shall never ask twice," said I; picked up that
bundle, walked a
little way forward and cast them as far as possible into the sea. For
a very little more I could have cast myself after them.
The rest of the day I walked up and down raging. There were few names
so ill but what I gave her them in my own mind before the sun went
down. All that I had ever heard of Highland pride seemed quite
outdone; that a girl (
scarce grown) should
resent so
trifling an
allusion, and that from her next friend, that she had near wearied me
with praising of! I had bitter, sharp, hard thoughts of her, like an
angry boy's. If I had kissed her indeed (I thought), perhaps she would
have taken it pretty well; and only because it had been written down,
and with a spice of jocularity, up she must fuff in this ridiculous
passion. It seemed to me there was a want of penetration in the female
sex, to make angels weep over the case of the poor men.
We were side by side again at supper, and what a change was there! She
was like curdled milk to me; her face was like a
wooden doll's; I could
have
indifferentlysmitten her or grovelled at her feet, but she gave
me not the least occasion to do either. No sooner the meal done than
she betook herself to attend on Mrs. Gebbie, which I think she had a
little neglected
heretofore. But she was to make up for lost time, and
in what remained of the passage was
extraordinary assiduous with the
old lady, and on deck began to make a great deal more than I thought
wise of Captain Sang. Not but what the Captain seemed a worthy,
fatherly man; but I hated to behold her in the least
familiarity with
anyone except myself.
Altogether, she was so quick to avoid me, and so
constant to keep
herself surrounded with others, that I must watch a long while before I
could find my opportunity; and after it was found, I made not much of
it, as you are now to hear.
"I have no guess how I have offended," said I; "it should
scarce be
beyond
pardon, then. O, try if you can
pardon me."
"I have no
pardon to give," said she; and the words seemed to come out
of her
throat like marbles. "I will be very much obliged for all your
friendships." And she made me an eighth part of a curtsey.
But I had schooled myself
beforehand to say more, and I was going to
say it too.
"There is one thing," said I. "If I have shocked your particularity by
the showing of that letter, it cannot touch Miss Grant. She wrote not
to you, but to a poor, common, ordinary lad, who might have had more
sense than show it. If you are to blame me - "
"I will
advise you to say no more about that girl, at all events!" said
Catriona. "It is her I will never look the road of, not if she lay
dying." She turned away from me, and suddenly back. "Will you swear
you will have no more to deal with her?" she cried.
"Indeed, and I will never be so
unjust then," said I; "nor yet so
ungrateful."
And now it was I that turned away.
CHAPTER XXII - HELVOETSLUYS
THE weather in the end
considerably worsened; the wind sang in the
shrouds, the sea swelled higher, and the ship began to labour and cry
out among the billows. The song of the leadsman in the chains was now
scarce ceasing, for we thrid all the way among shoals. About nine in
the morning, in a burst of
wintry sun between two squalls of hail, I
had my first look of Holland - a line of windmills birling in the
breeze. It was besides my first knowledge of these daft-like
contrivances, which gave me a near sense of foreign travel and a new
world and life. We came to an
anchor about half-past eleven, outside
the harbour of Helvoetsluys, in a place where the sea sometimes broke
and the ship pitched outrageously. You may be sure we were all on deck
save Mrs. Gebbie, some of us in cloaks, others mantled in the ship's
tarpaulins, all clinging on by ropes, and jesting the most like old
sailor-folk that we could imitate.
P
resently a boat, that was backed like a partancrab, came gingerly
alongside, and the
skipper of it hailed our master in the Dutch.
Thence Captain Sang turned, very troubled-like, to Catriona; and the
rest of us crowding about, the nature of the difficulty was made plain
to all. The ROSE was bound to the port of Rotterdam, whither the other
passengers were in a great
impatience to arrive, in view of a
conveyance due to leave that very evening in the direction of the Upper
Germany. This, with the p
resent half-gale of wind, the captain (if no
time were lost) declared himself still
capable to save. Now James More
had trysted in Helvoet with his daughter, and the captain had engaged
to call before the port and place her (according to the custom) in a
shore boat. There was the boat, to be sure, and here was Catriona
ready: but both our master and the patroon of the boat scrupled at the
risk, and the first was in no
humour to delay.
"Your father," said he, "would be gey an little pleased if we was to
break a leg to ye, Miss Drummond, let-a-be drowning of you. Take my
way of it," says he, "and come on-by with the rest of us here to
Rotterdam. Ye can get a passage down the Maes in a sailing scoot as
far as to the Brill, and
thence on again, by a place in a rattel-
waggon, back to Helvoet."
But Catriona would hear of no change. She looked white-like as she
beheld the bursting of the sprays, the green seas that sometimes poured
upon the fore-castle, and the
perpetual bounding and swooping of the
boat among the billows; but she stood
firmly by her father's orders.
"My father, James More, will have arranged it so," was her first word
and her last. I thought it very idle and indeed
wanton in the girl to
be so literal and stand opposite to so much kind advice; but the fact
is she had a very good reason, if she would have told us. Sailing
scoots and rattel-waggons are excellent things; only the use of them
must first be paid for, and all she was possessed of in the world was
just two
shillings and a penny halfpenny
sterling. So it fell out that
captain and passengers, not
knowing of her destitution - and she being
too proud to tell them - spoke in vain.
"But you ken nae French and nae Dutch neither," said one.
"It is very true," says she, "but since the year '46 there are so many
of the honest Scotch
abroad that I will be doing very well. I thank
you."
There was a pretty country
simplicity in this that made some laugh,
others looked the more sorry, and Mr. Gebbie fall outright in a
passion. I believe he knew it was his duty (his wife having accepted
charge of the girl) to have gone
ashore with her and seen her safe:
nothing would have induced him to have done so, since it must have
involved the lose of his
conveyance; and I think he made it up to his
conscience by the
loudness of his voice. At least he broke out upon
Captain Sang, raging and
saying the thing was a
disgrace; that it was
mere death to try to leave the ship, and at any event we could not cast
down an
innocent maid in a boatful of nasty Holland fishers, and leave
her to her fate. I was thinking something of the same; took the mate
upon one side, arranged with him to send on my chests by track-scoot to
an address I had in Leyden, and stood up and signalled to the fishers.
"I will go
ashore with the young lady, Captain Sang," said I. "It is
all one what way I go to Leyden;" and leaped at the same time into the
boat, which I managed not so elegantly but what I fell with two of the
fishers in the bilge.
From the boat the business appeared yet more
precarious than from the
ship, she stood so high over us, swung down so swift, and menaced us so
perpetually with her plunging and passaging upon the
anchor cable. I
began to think I had made a fool's
bargain, that it was merely
impossible Catriona should be got on board to me, and that I stood to
be set
ashore at Helvoet all by myself and with no hope of any reward
but the pleasure of embracing James More, if I should want to. But
this was to
reckon without the lass's courage. She had seen me leap
with very little appearance (however much reality) of
hesitation; to be
sure, she was not to be beat by her discarded friend. Up she stood on
the bulwarks and held by a stay, the wind blowing in her petticoats,
which made the
enterprise more dangerous, and gave us rather more of a
view of her stockings than would be thought
genteel in cities. There
was no minute lost, and
scarce time given for any to
interfere if they
had wished the same. I stood up on the other side and spread my arms;
the ship swung down on us, the patroon
humoured his boat nearer in than
was perhaps
wholly safe, and Catriona leaped into the air. I was so
happy as to catch her, and the fishers
readily supporting us, escaped a
fall. She held to me a moment very tight,
breathing quick and deep;
thence (she still clinging to me with both hands) we were passed aft to
our places by the steersman; and Captain Sang and all the crew and
passengers cheering and crying
farewell, the boat was put about for
shore.
As soon as Catriona came a little to herself she unhanded me suddenly,
but said no word. No more did I; and indeed the whistling of the wind
and the breaching of the sprays made it no time for speech; and our
crew not only toiled excessively but made
extremely little way, so that
the ROSE had got her
anchor and was off again before we had approached
the harbour mouth.
We were no sooner in smooth water than the patroon, according to their
beastly Hollands custom, stopped his boat and required of us our fares.
Two guilders was the man's demand - between three and four
shillings
English money - for each passenger. But at this Catriona began to cry
out with a vast deal of
agitation. She had asked of Captain Sang, she
said, and the fare was but an English
shilling. "Do you think I will
have come on board and not ask first?" cries she. The patroon scolded
back upon her in a lingo where the oaths were English and the rest
right Hollands; till at last (seeing her near tears) I privately
slipped in the rogue's hand six
shillings,
whereupon he was obliging
enough to receive from her the other
shilling without more complaint.
No doubt I was a good deal nettled and
ashamed. I like to see folk
thrifty, but not with so much
passion; and I daresay it would be rather
coldly that I asked her, as the boat moved on again for shore, where it
was that she was trysted with her father.
"He is to be inquired of at the house of one Sprott, an honest Scotch
merchant," says she; and then with the same
breath, "I am wishing to
thank you very much - you are a brave friend to me."
"It will be time enough when I get you to your father," said I, little
thinking that I spoke so true. "I can tell him a fine tale of a loyal
daughter."
"O, I do not think I will be a loyal girl, at all events," she cried,
with a great deal of painfulness in the expression. "I do not think my
heart is true."
"Yet there are very few that would have made that leap, and all to obey
a father's orders," I observed.
"I cannot have you to be thinking of me so," she cried again. "When
you had done that same, how would I stop behind? And at all events
that was not all the reasons." Whereupon, with a burning face, she
told me the plain truth upon her poverty.
"Good guide us!" cried I, "what kind of daft-like
proceeding is this,
to let yourself be launched on the
continent of Europe with an empty
purse - I count it hardly
decent - scant
decent!" I cried.
"You forget James More, my father, is a poor gentleman," said she. "He
is a hunted exile."
"But I think not all your friends are hunted exiles," I exclaimed.
"And was this fair to them that care for you? Was it fair to me? was
it fair to Miss Grant that counselled you to go, and would be driven
fair horn-mad if she could hear of it? Was it even fair to these
Gregory folk that you were living with, and used you lovingly? It's a
blessing you have fallen in my hands! Suppose your father hindered by
an accident, what would become of you here, and you your lee-lone in a
strange place? The thought of the thing frightens me," I said.
"I will have lied to all of them," she replied. "I will have told them
all that I had plenty. I told HER too. I could not be lowering James
More to them."
I found out later on that she must have lowered him in the very dust,
for the lie was
originally the father's, not the daughter's, and she