oldest Bailie, naturally officiated as chief magistrate in my stead.
There have been, as the world knows, a
disposition on the part of
the grand monarque of that time, to
invade and
conquer this country,
the which made it a duty incumbent on all magistrates to keep a
vigilant eye on the in-comings and out-goings of aliens and other
suspectable persons. On the said day, and during my
absence, a
Frenchman, that could speak no manner of English, somehow was
discovered in the Cross-Key inns. What he was, or where he came
from, nobody at the time could tell, as I was informed; but there he
was, having come into the house at the door, with a
bundle in his
hand, and a portmanty on his shoulder, like a traveller out of some
vehicle of
conveyance. Mrs Drammer, the
landlady, did not like his
looks; for he had toozy black whiskers, was lank and wan, and
moreover deformed beyond human nature, as she said, with a parrot
nose, and had no
cravat, but only a bit black riband drawn through
two button-holes,
fastening his ill-coloured sark neck, which gave
him
altogether something of an unwholesome, outlandish appearance.
Finding he was a
foreigner, and under
standing that strict
injunctions were laid on the magistrates by the king and government
anent the egressing of such persons, she thought, for the credit of
her house, and the safety of the
community at large, that it behoved
her to send word to me, then provost, of this man's visibility among
us; but as I was not at home, Mrs Pawkie, my wife, directed the
messenger to Bailie Booble's. The bailie was, at all times, overly
ready to claught at an alarm; and when he heard the news, he went
straight to the council-room, and sending for the rest of the
council, ordered the alien enemy, as he called the forlorn
Frenchman, to be brought before him. By this time, the
suspicion of
a spy in the town had spread far and wide; and Mrs Pawkie told me,
that there was a palid
consternation in every
countenance when the
black and yellow man--for he had not the looks of the honest folks
of this country--was brought up the street between two of the town-
officers, to stand an examine before Bailie Booble.
Neither the bailie, nor those that were then sitting with him, could
speak any French language, and "the alien enemy" was as little
master of our tongue. I have often wondered how the bailie did not
jealouse that he could be no spy,
seeing how, in that respect, he
wanted the main
faculty. But he was under the
enchantment of a
panic,
partly thinking also, perhaps, that he was to do a great
exploit for the government in my
absence.
However, the man was brought before him, and there was he, and them
all,
speaking loud out to one another as if they had been hard of
hearing, when I, on my coming home from Kilmarnock, went to see what
was going on in the council. Considering that the
procedure had
been in handsome time before my
arrival, I thought it
judicious to
leave the whole business with those present, and to sit still as a
spectator; and really it was very
comical to observe how the bailie
was
driven to his wit's-end by the poor lean and yellow Frenchman,
and in what a pucker of
passion the pannel put himself at every new
interlocutor, none of which he could understand. At last, the
bailie, getting no satisfaction--how could he?--he directed the
man's portmanty and
bundle to be opened; and in the bottom of the
forementioned
package, there, to be sure, was found many a mystical
and
suspicious paper, which no one could read; among others, there
was a strange map, as it then seemed to all present.
"I' gude faith," cried the bailie, with a keckle of exultation,
"here's proof enough now. This is a plain map o' the Frith o'
Clyde, all the way to the tail of the bank o' Greenock. This muckle
place is Arran; that round ane is the craig of Ailsa; the wee ane
between is Plada. Gentlemen, gentlemen, this is a sore discovery;
there will be
hanging and quartering on this." So he ordered the
man to be
forthwith committed as a king's prisoner to the tolbooth;
and turning to me, said:- "My lord provost, as ye have not been
present throughout the whole of this troublesome affair, I'll e'en
gie an
account mysel to the lord
advocate of what we have done." I
thought, at the time, there was something fey and overly forward in
this, but I assented; for I know not what it was, that seemed to me
as if there was something neither right nor regular; indeed, to say
the truth, I was no ill pleased that the bailie took on him what he
did; so I allowed him to write himself to the lord
advocate; and, as
the sequel showed, it was a
blessedprudence on my part that I did
so. For no sooner did his
lordship receive the bailie's terrifying
letter, than a special king's
messenger was sent to take the spy
into Edinburgh Castle; and nothing could
surpass the great
importance that Bailie Booble made of himself, on the occasion, on
getting the man into a coach, and two dragoons to guard him into
Glasgow.
But oh! what a
dejected man was the
miserable Bailie Booble, and
what a laugh rose from shop and
chamber, when the
tidings came out
from Edinburgh that, "the alien enemy" was but a French cook coming
over from Dublin, with the
intent to take up the trade of a
confectioner in Glasgow, and that the map of the Clyde was nothing
but a plan for the outset of a
fashionable table--the bailie's
island of Arran being the roast beef, and the craig of Ailsa the
plum-pudding, and Plada a butter-boat. Nobody enjoyed the
jocularity of the business more than myself; but I trembled when I
thought of the escape that my honour and
character had with the lord
advocate. I trow, Bailie Booble never set himself so forward from
that day to this.
CHAPTER XIII--THE MEAL MOB
After the close of the American war, I had, for various reasons of a
private nature, a wish to sequestrate myself for a time, from any
very ostensible part in public affairs. Still, however, desiring to
retain a mean of resuming my station, and of maintaining my
influence in the council, I bespoke Mr Keg to act in my place as
deputy for My Lord, who was
regularly every year at this time chosen
into the provostry.
This Mr Keg was a man who had made a competency by the Isle-of-Man
trade, and had come in from the laighlands, where he had been
apparently in the farming line, to live among us; but for many a
day, on
account of something that happened when he was
concerned in
the smuggling, he kept himself cannily aloof from all sort of town
matters; deporting himself with a most creditable sobriety; in so
much, that there was at one time a sough that Mr Pittle, the
minister, our friend, had put him on the leet for an elder. That
post, however, if it was offered to him, he certainly never
accepted; but I jealouse that he took the rumour o't for a sign that
his
character had ripened into an
estimation among us, for he
thenceforth began to kithe more in public, and was just a
patron to
every
manifestation of
loyalty, putting more lights in his windows
in the
rejoicing nights of
victory than any other body, Mr M'Creesh,
the candlemaker, and Collector Cocket, not excepted. Thus, in the
fulness of time, he was taken into the council, and no man in the
whole
corporation could be said to be more
zealous than he was. In
respect,
therefore, to him, I had nothing to fear, so far as the
interests, and, over and above all, the
loyalty of the
corporation,
were
concerned; but something like a quailing came over my heart,
when, after the breaking up of the council on the day of election,
he seemed to shy away from me, who had been
instrumental to his
advancement. However, I trow he had soon reason to
repent of that
ingratitude, as I may well call it; for when the troubles of the
meal mob came upon him, I showed him that I could keep my distance
as well as my neighbours.
It was on the Friday, our market-day, that the hobleshow began, and
in the afternoon, when the farmers who had brought in their
victualfor sale were loading their carts to take it home again, the price
not having come up to their
expectation. All the
forenoon, as the
wives that went to the meal-market, came back
railing with toom
pocks and basins, it might have been
foretold that the farmers would
have to abate their extortion, or that something would come o't
before night. My new house and shop being forenent the market, I
had noted this, and said to Mrs Pawkie, my wife, what I thought
would be the upshot, especially when, towards the afternoon, I