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Nor can I conjecture how far I strayed north or south from my



course. I only know that marshes that were like Sloughs of

Despond, and barren and wet savannahs, were crossed; and forests



that seemed infinite in extent and never to be got through; and

scores of rivers that boiled round the sharp rocks, threatening



to submerge or dash in pieces the frail bark canoe--black and

frightful to look on as rivers in hell; and nameless mountain



after mountain to be toiled round or toiled over. I may have

seen Roraima during that mentally clouded period. I vaguely



remember a far-extending gigantic wall of stone that seemed to

bar all further progress--a rocky precipice rising to a



stupendous height, seen by moonlight, with a huge sinuous rope of

white mist suspended from its summit; as if the guardian camoodi



of the mountain had been a league-long spectral serpent which was

now dropping its coils from the mighty stone table to frighten



away the rash intruder.

That spectral moonlight camoodi was one of many serpent fancies



that troubled me. There was another, surpassing them all, which

attended me many days. When the sun grew hot overhead and the



way was over open savannah country, I would see something moving

on the ground at my side and always keeping abreast of me. A



small snake, one or two feet long. No, not a small snake, but a

sinuous mark in the pattern on a huge serpent's head, five or six



yards long, always moving deliberately at my side. If a cloud

came over the sun, or a fresh breezesprang up, gradually the



outline of that awful head would fade and the well-defined

pattern would resolve itself into the motlings on the earth. But



if the sun grew more and more hot and dazzling as the day

progressed, then the tremendous ophidian head would become



increasingly real to my sight, with glistening scales and

symmetrical markings; and I would walk carefully not to stumble



against or touch it; and when I cast my eyes behind me I could

see no end to its great coils extending across the savannah.



Even looking back from the summit of a high hill I could see it

stretching leagues and leagues away through forests and rivers,



across wide plains, valleys and mountains, to lose itself at last

in the infinite blue distance.



How or when this monster left me--washed away by cold rains

perhaps--I do not know. Probably it only transformed itself into



some new shape, its long coils perhaps changing into those

endless processions and multitudes of pale-faced people I seem to



remember having encountered. In my devious wanderings I must

have reached the shores of the undiscovered great White Lake, and



passed through the long shining streets of Manoa, the mysterious

city in the wilderness. I see myself there, the wide



thoroughfare filled from end to end with people gaily dressed as

if for some high festival, all drawing aside to let the wretched



pilgrim pass, staring at his fever- and famine-wasted figure, in

its strange rags, with its strange burden.



A new Ahasuerus, cursed by inexpiable crime, yet sustained by a

great purpose.



But Ahasuerus prayed ever for death to come to him and ran to

meet it, while I fought against it with all my little strength.



Only at intervals, when the shadows seemed to lift and give me

relief, would I pray to Death to spare me yet a little longer;



but when the shadows darkened again and hope seemed almost

quenched in utter gloom, then I would curse it and defy its



power. Through it all I clung to the belief that my will would

conquer, that it would enable me to keep off the great enemy from



my worn and suffering body until the wished goal was reached;

then only would I cease to fight and let death have its way.



There would have been comfort in this belief had it not been for

that fevered imagination which corrupted everything that touched



me and gave it some new hatefulcharacter. For soon enough this

conviction that the will would triumph grew to something



monstrous, a parent of monstrous fancies. Worst of all, when I




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