lively a French girl as ever moved. - There were difficulties every
way, - and the
obstacle of the stone in the road, which brought us
into the
distress, great as it appeared
whilst the
peasants were
removing it, was but a
pebble to what lay in our ways now. - I have
only to add, that it did not
lessen the weight which hung upon our
spirits, that we were both too
delicate to
communicate what we felt
to each other upon the occasion.
We sat down to supper; and had we not had more
generous wine to it
than a little inn in Savoy could have furnish'd, our tongues had
been tied up, till necessity herself had set them at liberty; - but
the lady having a few bottles of Burgundy in her voiture, sent down
her fille de chambre for a couple of them; so that by the time
supper was over, and we were left alone, we felt ourselves inspired
with a strength of mind sufficient to talk, at least, without
reserve upon our situation. We turn'd it every way, and debated
and considered it in all kinds of lights in the course of a two
hours'
negotiation; at the end of which the articles were settled
finally betwixt us, and stipulated for in form and manner of a
treaty of peace, - and I believe with as much religion and good
faith on both sides as in any treaty which has yet had the honour
of being handed down to posterity.
They were as follow: -
First, as the right of the bed-chamber is in Monsieur, - and he
thinking the bed next to the fire to be the warmest, he insists
upon the
concession on the lady's side of
taking up with it.
Granted, on the part of Madame; with a proviso, That as the
curtains of that bed are of a flimsy
transparent cotton, and appear
likewise too
scanty to draw close, that the fille de chambre shall
fasten up the
opening, either by corking pins, or
needle and
thread, in such manner as shall be deem'd a sufficient
barrier on
the side of Monsieur.
2dly. It is required on the part of Madame, that Monsieur shall
lie the whole night through in his robe de chambre.
Rejected:
inasmuch as Monsieur is not worth a robe de chambre; he
having nothing in his portmanteau but six shirts and a black silk
pair of
breeches.
The mentioning the silk pair of
breeches made an entire change of
the article, - for the
breeches were accepted as an
equivalent for
the robe de chambre; and so it was stipulated and agreed upon, that
I should lie in my black silk
breeches all night.
3dly. It was insisted upon and stipulated for by the lady, that
after Monsieur was got to bed, and the candle and fire
extinguished, that Monsieur should not speak one single word the
whole night.
Granted; provided Monsieur's
saying his prayers might not be deemed
an infraction of the treaty.
There was but one point forgot in this treaty, and that was the
manner in which the lady and myself should be obliged to undress
and get to bed; - there was but one way of doing it, and that I
leave to the reader to
devise; protesting as I do it, that if it is
not the most
delicate in nature, 'tis the fault of his own
imagination, - against which this is not my first complaint.
Now, when we were got to bed, whether it was the
novelty of the
situation, or what it was, I know not; but so it was, I could not
shut my eyes; I tried this side, and that, and turn'd and turn'd
again, till a full hour after
midnight; when Nature and patience
both wearing out, - O, my God! said I.
- You have broke the treaty, Monsieur, said the lady, who had no
more slept than myself. - I begg'd a thousand pardons - but
insisted it was no more than an ejaculation. She maintained 'twas
an entire infraction of the treaty - I maintained it was provided
for in the
clause of the third article.
The lady would by no means give up her point, though she weaken'd
her
barrier by it; for in the
warmth of the
dispute, I could hear
two or three corking pins fall out of the curtain to the ground.
Upon my word and honour, Madame, said I, - stretching my arm out of
bed by way of asseveration. -
(I was going to have added, that I would not have trespassed
against the remotest idea of decorum for the world); -
But the fille de chambre
hearing there were words between us, and
fearing that hostilities would ensue in course, had crept
silently