coming out in a sort of a hurry: - she was almost upon me before I

saw her; so I gave a spring to once side to let her pass. - She had
done the same, and on the same side too; so we ran our heads

together: she instantly got to the other side to get out: I was
just as unfortunate as she had been, for I had sprung to that side,

and opposed her passage again. - We both flew together to the other
side, and then back, - and so on: - it was ridiculous: we both

blush'd intolerably: so I did at last the thing I should have done
at first; - I stood stock-still, and the Marquisina had no more

difficulty. I had no power to go into the room, till I had made
her so much reparation as to wait and follow her with my eye to the

end of the passage. She look'd back twice, and walk'd along it
rather sideways, as if she would make room for any one coming up

stairs to pass her. - No, said I - that's a vile translation: the
Marquisina has a right to the best apology I can make her, and that

opening is left for me to do it in; - so I ran and begg'd pardon
for the embarrassment I had given her, saying it was my intention

to have made her way. She answered, she was guided by the same
intention towards me; - so we reciprocally thank'd each other. She

was at the top of the stairs; and seeing no cicisbeo near her, I
begg'd to hand her to her coach; - so we went down the stairs,

stopping at every third step to talk of the concert and the
adventure. - Upon my word, Madame, said I, when I had handed her

in, I made six different efforts to let you go out. - And I made
six efforts, replied she, to let you enter. - I wish to heaven you

would make a seventh, said I. - With all my heart, said she, making
room. - Life is too short to be long about the forms of it, - so I

instantly stepp'd in, and she carried me home with her. - And what
became of the concert, St. Cecilia, who I suppose was at it, knows

more than I.
I will only add, that the connexion which arose out of the

translation gave me more pleasure than any one I had the honour to
make in Italy.

THE DWARF. PARIS.
I had never heard the remark made by any one in my life, except by

one; and who that was will probably come out in this chapter; so
that being pretty much unprepossessed, there must have been grounds

for what struck me the moment I cast my eyes over the parterre, -
and that was, the unaccountable sport of Nature in forming such

numbers of dwarfs. - No doubt she sports at certain times in almost
every corner of the world; but in Paris there is no end to her

amusements. - The goddess seems almost as merry as she is wise.
As I carried my idea out of the Opera Comique with me, I measured

every body I saw walking in the streets by it. - Melancholy
application! especially where the size was extremely little, - the

face extremely dark, - the eyes quick, - the nose long, - the teeth
white, - the jaw prominent, - to see so many miserables, by force

of accidents driven out of their own proper class into the very
verge of another, which it gives me pain to write down: - every

third man a pigmy! - some by rickety heads and hump backs; - others
by bandy legs; - a third set arrested by the hand of Nature in the

sixth and seventh years of their growth; - a fourth, in their
perfect and natural state like dwarf apple trees; from the first

rudiments and stamina of their existence, never meant to grow
higher.

A Medical Traveller might say, 'tis owing to undue bandages; - a
Splenetic one, to want of air; - and an Inquisitive Traveller, to

fortify the system, may measure the height of their houses, - the
narrowness of their streets, and in how few feet square in the

sixth and seventh stories such numbers of the bourgeoisie eat and
sleep together; but I remember Mr. Shandy the elder, who accounted

for nothing like any body else, in speaking one evening of these
matters, averred that children, like other animals, might be

increased almost to any size, provided they came right into the
world; but the misery was, the citizens of were Paris so coop'd up,

that they had not actually room enough to get them. - I do not call
it getting anything, said he; - 'tis getting nothing. - Nay,

continued he, rising in his argument, 'tis getting worse than
nothing, when all you have got after twenty or five and twenty

years of the tenderest care and most nutritious aliment bestowed
upon it, shall not at last be as high as my leg. Now, Mr. Shandy

being very short, there could be nothing more said of it.
As this is not a work of reasoning, I leave the solution as I found

it, and content myself with the truth only of the remark, which is
verified in every lane and by-lane of Paris. I was walking down

that which leads from the Carousal to the Palais Royal, and
observing a little boy in some distress at the side of the gutter

which ran down the middle of it, I took hold of his hand and help'd
him over. Upon turning up his face to look at him after, I

perceived he was about forty. - Never mind, said I, some good body
will do as much for me when I am ninety.

I feel some little principles within me which incline me to be
merciful towards this poor blighted part of my species, who have

neither size nor strength to get on in the world. - I cannot bear
to see one of them trod upon; and had scarce got seated beside my

old French officer, ere the disgust was exercised, by seeing the
very thing happen under the box we sat in.

At the end of the orchestra, and betwixt that and the first side
box, there is a small esplanade left, where, when the house is

full, numbers of all ranks take sanctuary. Though you stand, as in
the parterre, you pay the same price as in the orchestra. A poor

defenceless being of this order had got thrust somehow or other
into this luckless place; - the night was hot, and he was

surrounded by beings two feet and a half higher than himself. The
dwarf suffered inexpressibly on all sides; but the thing which

incommoded him most, was a tall corpulent German, near seven feet
high, who stood directly betwixt him and all possibility of his

seeing either the stage or the actors. The poor dwarf did all he
could to get a peep at what was going forwards, by seeking for some

little opening betwixt the German's arm and his body, trying first
on one side, then the other; but the German stood square in the

most unaccommodating posture that can be imagined: - the dwarf
might as well have been placed at the bottom of the deepest draw-

well in Paris; so he civilly reached up his hand to the German's
sleeve, and told him his distress. - The German turn'd his head

back, looked down upon him as Goliah did upon David, - and
unfeelingly resumed his posture.

I was just then taking a pinch of snuff out of my monk's little
horn box. - And how would thy meek and courteous spirit, my dear

monk! so temper'd to bear and forbear! - how sweetly would it have
lent an ear to this poor soul's complaint!

The old French officer, seeing me lift up my eyes with an emotion,
as I made the apostrophe, took the liberty to ask me what was the

matter? - I told him the story in three words; and added, how
inhuman it was.

By this time the dwarf was driven to extremes, and in his first
transports, which are generally unreasonable, had told the German

he would cut off his long queue with his knife. - The German look'd
back coolly, and told him he was welcome, if he could reach it.

An injury sharpen'd by an insult, be it to whom it will, makes
every man of sentiment a party: I could have leap'd out of the box

to have redressed it. - The old French officer did it with much
less confusion; for leaning a little over, and nodding to a

sentinel, and pointing at the same time with his finger at the
distress, - the sentinel made his way to it. - There was no

occasion to tell the grievance, - the thing told himself; so