GRACIOUS! HOW DID I EVER SQUEEZE MYSELF INTO IT!"
That bit about the nautilus sounds like an
extract from a school
theme, or a "Pilot"
editorial, or a
fragment of one of dear Miss
Maxwell's lectures, but I think girls of sixteen are principally
imitations of the people and things they love and admire; and
between editing the "Pilot,"
writing out Virgil translations,
searching for
composition subjects, and studying rhetorical
models, there is very little of the original Rebecca Rowena about
me at the present moment; I am just a member of the graduating
class in good and regular
standing. We do our hair alike, dress
alike as much as possible, eat and drink alike, talk alike,--I am
not even sure that we do not think alike; and what will become of
the poor world when we are all let loose upon it on the same day
of June? Will life, real life, bring our true selves back to us?
Will love and duty and sorrow and trouble and work finally wear
off the "school stamp" that has been pressed upon all of us until
we look like rows of shining
copper cents fresh from the mint?
Yet there must be a little difference between us somewhere, or
why does Abijah Flagg write Latin letters to Emma Jane, instead
of to me? There is one example on the other side of the
argument,--Abijah Flagg. He stands out from all the rest of the
boys like the Rock of Gibraltar in the
geography pictures. Is it
because he never went to school until he was sixteen? He almost
died of
longing to go, and the
longing seemed to teach him more
than going. He knew his letters, and could read simple things,
but it was I who taught him what books really meant when I was
eleven and he thirteen. We
studied while he was
husking corn or
cutting potatoes for seed, or shelling beans in the Squire's
barn. His
beloved Emma Jane didn't teach him; her father wold not
have let her be friends with a chore-boy! It was I who found him
after milking-time, summer nights,
suffering, yes dying, of Least
Common Multiple and Greatest Common Divisor; I who struck the
shackles from the slave and told him to skip it all and go on to
something easier, like Fractions, Percentage, and Compound
Interest, as I did myself. Oh! How he used to smell of the cows
when I was correcting his sums on warm evenings, but I don't
regret it, for he is now the joy of Limerick and the pride of
Riverboro, and I suppose has forgotten the proper side on which
to approach a cow if you wish to milk her. This now unserviceable
knowledge is neatly inclosed in the outgrown shell he threw off
two or three years ago. His
gratitude to me knows no bounds,
but--he writes Latin letters to Emma Jane! But as Mr. Perkins
said about drowning the kittens (I now quote from myself at
thirteen), "It is the way of the world and how things have to
be!"
Well, I have read the Thought Book all through, and when I want
to make Mr. Aladdin laugh, I shall show him my
composition on the
relative values of
punishment and
reward as builders of
character.
I am not at all the same Rebecca today at sixteen that I was
then, at twelve and thirteen. I hope, in getting rid of my
failings, that I haven't scrubbed and rubbed so hard that I have
taken the gloss off the poor little virtues that lay just
alongside of the faults; for as I read the foolish doggerel and
the funny, funny "Remerniscences," I see on the whole a nice,
well-meaning,
trusting,
lovingheedless little creature, that
after all I'd rather build on than outgrow
altogether, because
she is Me; the Me that was made and born just a little different
from all the rest of the babies in my birthday year.
One thing is alike in the child and the girl. They both love to
set thoughts down in black and white; to see how they look, how
they sound, and how they make one feel when one reads them over.
They both love the sound of beautiful sentences and the
tinkle of
rhyming words, and in fact, of the three great R's of life, they
adore Reading and Riting, as much as they abhor "Rithmetic.
The little girl in the old book is always thinking of what she is
"going to be."
Uncle Jerry Cobb spoiled me a good deal in this direction. I
remember he said to everybody when I wrote my verses for the
flag-raising: "Nary rung on the
ladder o' fame but that child'll
climb if you give her time!"--poor Uncle Jerry! He will be so
disappointed in me as time goes on. And still he would think I
have already climbed two rungs on the
ladder, although it is only
a little Wareham
ladder, for I am one of the "Pilot" editors, the
first "girl editor"--and I have taken a fifty dollar prize in
composition and paid off the interest on a twelve hundred dollar