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Soul of a Bishop-Part36_H. G. WELLS (1866-1946)_English Literature(文学名著)-第2页

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black and dim, but his understanding of his place and duty was



growing very definite.

"And this duty to bear witness to God's kingdom and serve it is



so plain that I must not deflect my witness even by a little,

though to do so means comfort and security for my wife and



children. God comes first...."

"They must not come between God and me...."



"But there is more in it than that."

He had come round at last through the long clearing-up of his



mind, to his fundamental problem again. He sat darkly reluctant.

"I must not play priest or providence to them," he admitted at



last. "I must not even stand between God and them."

He saw now what he had been doing; it had been the flaw in his



faith that he would not trust his family to God. And he saw too

that this distrust has been the flaw in the faith of all



religious systems hitherto....

(13)



In this strange voyage of the spirit which was now drawing to

its end, in which Scrope had travelled from the confused,



unanalyzed formulas and assumptions and implications of his

rectory upbringing to his present stark and simple realization of



God, he had at times made some remarkable self-identifications.

He was naturally much given to analogy; every train of thought in



his mind set up induced parallel currents. He had likened himself

to the Anglican church, to the whole Christian body, as, for



example, in his imagined second conversation with the angel of

God. But now he found himself associating himself with a still



more far-reaching section of mankind. This excess of solicitude

was traceable perhaps in nearly every one in all the past of



mankind who had ever had the vision of God. An excessive

solicitude to shield those others from one's own trials and



hardships, to preserve the exact quality of the revelation, for

example, had been the fruitful cause of crippling errors,



spiritual tyrannies, dogmatisms, dissensions, and futilities.

"Suffer little children to come unto me"; the text came into his



head with an effect of contribution. The parent in us all flares

out at the thought of the younger and weaker minds; we hide



difficulties, seek to spare them from the fires that temper the

spirit, the sharp edge of the truth that shapes the soul.



Christian is always trying to have a carriage sent back from the

Celestial City for his family. Why, we ask, should they flounder



dangerously in the morasses that we escaped, or wander in the

forest in which we lost ourselves? Catch these souls young,



therefore, save them before they know they exist, kidnap them to

heaven; vaccinate them with a catechism they may never



understand, lull them into comfort and routine. Instinct plays us

false here as it plays the savage mother false when she snatches



her fevered child from the doctor's hands. The last act of faith

is to trust those we love to God....



Hitherto he had seen the great nets of theological

overstatement and dogma that kept mankind from God as if they



were the work of purely evil things in man, of pride, of

self-assertion, of a desire to possess and dominate the minds and



souls of others. It was only now that he saw how large a share in

the obstruction of God's Kingdom had been played by the love of



the elder and the parent, by the carefulness, the fussy care, of

good men and women. He had wandered in wildernesses of unbelief,



in dangerous places of doubt and questioning, but he had left his

wife and children safe and secure in the self-satisfaction of



orthodoxy. To none of them except to Eleanor had he ever talked




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