that the widest
separation he had
hitherto been able to imagine
from this past had left him still a
bishop, heretical perhaps,
innovating in the broadening of beliefs and the liberalizing of
practice,
defensive even as Chasters was
defensive, but still
with the palace and his dignities, differing in opinion rather
than in any tangible
reality from his
previous self. For a
bishop, disbelief in the Church is a far profounder scepticism
than mere disbelief in God. God is
unseen, and in daily things
unfelt; but the Church is with the predestined
bishop always. His
concept of the
extremest possible
departure from orthodoxy had
been something that Chasters had phrased as "a restatement of
Christ." It was a new idea, an idea that had come with an immense
effect of severance and
novelty, that God could be other than the
God of the Creed, could present himself to the
imagination as a
figure
totallyunlike the white, gentle, and compromising
Redeemer of an Anglican's thought. That the
bishop should treat
the whole teaching of the church and the church itself as wrong,
was an idea so new that it fell upon him now like a thunderbolt
out of a cloudless sky. But here, clear in his mind now, was a
feeling, amounting to
conviction, that it was the purpose and
gesture of the true God that he should come right out of the
church and all his professions.
And in the first glow of his
vision he felt this gesture
imperative. He must step right out.... Whither? how? And when?
To begin with it seemed to him that an immediate renunciation
was demanded. But it was a momentous step. He wanted to think.
And to go on thinking. Rather than to act precipitately. Although
the
imperative seemed
absolute, some delaying and arresting
instinct insisted that he must "think" If he went back to
Princhester, the
everyday duties of his position would confront
him at once with an effect of a
definitechallenge. He
decided to
take one of the Reform club bedrooms for two or three days, and
wire to Princhester that he was "unavoidably delayed in town,"
without further
explanations. Then perhaps this inhibitory force
would give way.
It did not, however, give way. His mind sat down for two days
in a blank
amazement at the course before him, and at the end of
that time this reasonless and formless
institution was as strong
as ever. During that time, except for some
incidental exchanges
at his clubs, he talked to no one. At first he did not want to
talk to any one. He remained
mentally and practically active,
with a still
intensely vivid sense that God, the true God, stood
watching him and
waiting for him to follow. And to follow meant
slipping right out of all the world he had ever known. To thrust
his foot right over the edge of a cliff would scarcely have
demanded more from the
bishop's store of
resolution. He stood on
the very verge. The chief secretion of his mind was a shadowy
experiment or so in
explanation of why he did not follow.
(3)
Insensibly the
extreme vividness of his sense of God's nearness
decreased. But he still retained a
persuasion of the
reality of
an immediate
listenerwaiting, and of the need of satisfying him.
On the third day he found his mind still further changed. He no
longer felt that God was in Pall Mall or St. James's Park,
whither he resorted to walk and muse. He felt now that God was
somewhere about the horizon....
He felt too no longer that he thought straight into the mind of
God. He thought now of what he would
presently say to God. He
turned over and rehearsed phrases. With that came a desire to try
them first on some other
hearer. And from that to the attentive
head of Lady Sunderbund, prettily bent towards him, was no great
leap. She would understand, if any one could understand, the
great change that had happened in his mind.
He found her address in the telephone book. She could be quite
alone to him if he wouldn't mind "just me." It was, he said,
exactly what he desired.
But when he got to her great airy flat overlooking Hyde Park,
with its Omega Workshop furniture and its arresting decoration,
he was not so sure whether this
encounter was so exactly the
- bishop [´biʃəp] n.主教 (初中英语单词)
- beginning [bi´giniŋ] n.开始,开端;起源 (初中英语单词)
- beheld [bi´held] behold的过去式(分词) (初中英语单词)
- surrender [sə´rendə] vt.&n.交出;引渡;放弃 (初中英语单词)
- overcome [,əuvə´kʌm] vt.战胜,克服 (初中英语单词)
- creation [kri´eiʃən] n.创作;作品;创造 (初中英语单词)
- reality [ri´æliti] n.现实(性);真实;逼真 (初中英语单词)
- absolute [´æbsəlu:t] a.绝对的 n.绝对 (初中英语单词)
- conviction [kən´vikʃən] n.定罪;确信,信服 (初中英语单词)
- presently [´prezəntli] ad.不久;目前 (初中英语单词)
- realization [,riəlai´zeiʃən] n.实现;认识 (初中英语单词)
- pursuit [pə´sju:t] n.追踪;追击;事务 (初中英语单词)
- terror [´terə] n.恐怖;惊骇 (初中英语单词)
- altogether [,ɔ:ltə´geðə] ad.完全;总而言之 (初中英语单词)
- vision [´viʒən] n.视觉;想象力;幻影 (初中英语单词)
- mental [´mentl] a.精神的;心理的 (初中英语单词)
- illness [´ilnis] n.生病,不健康,疾病 (初中英语单词)
- absurd [əb´sə:d] a.荒谬的,可笑的 (初中英语单词)
- essential [i´senʃəl] a.必需的 n.要素,要点 (初中英语单词)
- actual [´æktʃuəl] a.现实的;实际的 (初中英语单词)
- moreover [mɔ:´rəuvə] ad.再者,此外,而且 (初中英语单词)
- suspicion [sə´spiʃən] n.怀(猜)疑;嫌疑 (初中英语单词)
- visible [´vizəbəl] a.可见的;明显的 (初中英语单词)
- hidden [´hid(ə)n] hide 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
- intention [in´tenʃən] n.意图;打算;意义 (初中英语单词)
- priest [pri:st] n.教士;牧师;神父 (初中英语单词)
- interval [´intəvəl] n.间隙;(工间)休息 (初中英语单词)
- system [´sistəm] n.系统,体系,制度 (初中英语单词)
- possibility [,pɔsə´biliti] n.可能(性);希望;前途 (初中英语单词)
- dignity [´digniti] n.尊严,尊贵;高官显贵 (初中英语单词)
- previous [´pri:viəs] a.先,前,以前的 (初中英语单词)
- departure [di´pɑ:tʃə] n.离开,出发 (初中英语单词)
- imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)
- unlike [,ʌn´laik] a.不同的 prep.不象… (初中英语单词)
- definite [´definit] a.确定的,明确的 (初中英语单词)
- challenge [´tʃælindʒ] n.&vt.向….挑战;怀疑 (初中英语单词)
- reform [ri´fɔ:m] v.&n.改革;改良;革除 (初中英语单词)
- amazement [ə´meizmənt] n.惊愕;惊奇 (初中英语单词)
- institution [,insti´tju:ʃən] n.建立;制定;制度 (初中英语单词)
- waiting [´weitiŋ] n.等候;伺候 (初中英语单词)
- resolution [,rezə´lu:ʃən] n.决心;坚决;果断 (初中英语单词)
- explanation [,eksplə´neiʃən] n.解释;说明;辩解 (初中英语单词)
- extreme [ik´stri:m] a.尽头的 n.极端 (初中英语单词)
- persuasion [pə´sweiʒən] n.说服(力);劝说;见解 (初中英语单词)
- encounter [in´kauntə] vt.&n.偶然相遇;冲突 (初中英语单词)
- sunrise [´sʌnraiz] n.日出,黎明 (高中英语单词)
- subdue [səb´dju:] vt.征服;克制;减弱 (高中英语单词)
- ecstasy [´ekstəsi] n.狂喜;出神,入迷 (高中英语单词)
- submerge [səb´mə:dʒ] vt.浸在水中 vi.潜水 (高中英语单词)
- intense [in´tens] a.强烈的;紧张的 (高中英语单词)
- assurance [ə´ʃuərəns] n.保证;自信;信任 (高中英语单词)
- serene [si´ri:n] n.&a.清澈的;宁静的 (高中英语单词)
- earthly [´ə:θli] a.地球的;世俗的 (高中英语单词)
- manifest [´mænifest] a.明显的 v.表明 (高中英语单词)
- desperately [´despəritli] ad.绝望地;拼命地 (高中英语单词)
- significant [sig´nifikənt] a.重要的;意义重大的 (高中英语单词)
- separation [,sepə´reiʃən] n.分离;分开;分居 (高中英语单词)
- hitherto [,hiðə´tu:] ad.至今,迄今 (高中英语单词)
- unseen [,ʌn´si:n] a.未看见的 (高中英语单词)
- novelty [´nɔvəlti] n.新奇(的事物) (高中英语单词)
- everyday [´evridei] a.每日的,日常的 (高中英语单词)
- decided [di´saidid] a.明显的;决定的 (高中英语单词)
- texture [´tekstʃə] n.(织物等的)质地 (英语四级单词)
- acceptable [ək´septəbəl] a.可接受的;合意的 (英语四级单词)
- happening [´hæpəniŋ] n.事件,偶然发生的事 (英语四级单词)
- pathetic [pə´θetik] a.可怜的;悲哀的 (英语四级单词)
- livery [´livəri] a.有肝病征象的 (英语四级单词)
- obstinate [´ɔbstinit] a.顽固的;(病)难治的 (英语四级单词)
- transition [træn´ziʃən, -´si-] n.转变;过渡 (英语四级单词)
- convincing [kən´vinsiŋ] a.有说服力的;有力的 (英语四级单词)
- perception [pə´sepʃən] n.感觉;概念;理解力 (英语四级单词)
- setting [´setiŋ] n.安装;排字;布景 (英语四级单词)
- luminous [´lu:minəs] a.发光的;明晰的 (英语四级单词)
- meditation [,medi´teiʃən] n.熟虑;默想 (英语四级单词)
- theological [θiə´lɔdʒikəl] a.神学(上)的 (英语四级单词)
- divinity [di´viniti] n.神性,神;神学 (英语四级单词)
- defensive [di´fensiv] a.&n.防御(的) (英语四级单词)
- totally [´təutəli] ad.统统,完全 (英语四级单词)
- imperative [im´perətiv] a.紧急的 n.命令式 (英语四级单词)
- intensely [in´tensli] ad.激烈地;热切地 (英语四级单词)
- listener [´lisənə] n.(收)听者,听众之一 (英语四级单词)
- workshop [´wə:kʃɔp] n.车间;工场;创作室 (英语四级单词)
- marrow [´mærəu] n.(骨)髓;精华;活力 (英语六级单词)
- episcopal [i´piskəpəl] a.主教的,主教管辖的 (英语六级单词)
- expressive [ik´spresiv] a.有表现力的 (英语六级单词)
- ecclesiastical [i,kli:zi´æstikəl] n.基督教会的;教士的 (英语六级单词)
- clerical [´klerikəl] a.牧师的;教士的 (英语六级单词)
- incidental [,insi´dentəl] a.伴随的;易发生的 (英语六级单词)
- hearer [´hiərə] n.听者 (英语六级单词)