When
tyrants' crests and tombs of brass are spent.
108
What's in the brain that ink may character,
Which hath not figured to thee my true spirit,
What's new to speak, what now to register,
That may express my love, or thy dear merit?
Nothing sweet boy, but yet like prayers divine,
I must each day say o'er the very same,
Counting no old thing old, thou mine, I thine,
Even as when first I
hallowed thy fair name.
So that
eternal love in love's fresh case,
Weighs not the dust and
injury of age,
Nor gives to necessary wrinkles place,
But makes
antiquity for aye his page,
Finding the first
conceit of love there bred,
Where time and
outward form would show it dead.
109
O never say that I was false of heart,
Though
absence seemed my flame to qualify,
As easy might I from my self depart,
As from my soul which in thy breast doth lie:
That is my home of love, if I have ranged,
Like him that travels I return again,
Just to the time, not with the time exchanged,
So that my self bring water for my stain,
Never believe though in my nature reigned,
All frailties that
besiege all kinds of blood,
That it could so preposterously be stained,
To leave for nothing all thy sum of good:
For nothing this wide
universe I call,
Save thou my rose, in it thou art my all.
110
Alas 'tis true, I have gone here and there,
And made my self a motley to the view,
Gored mine own thoughts, sold cheap what is most dear,
Made old offences of affections new.
Most true it is, that I have looked on truth
Askance and
strangely: but by all above,
These blenches gave my heart another youth,
And worse essays proved thee my best of love.
Now all is done, have what shall have no end,
Mine
appetite I never more will grind
On newer proof, to try an older friend,
A god in love, to whom I am confined.
Then give me
welcome, next my heaven the best,
Even to thy pure and most most
loving breast.
111
O for my sake do you with Fortune chide,
The
guiltygoddess of my
harmful deeds,
That did not better for my life provide,
Than public means which public manners breeds.
Thence comes it that my name receives a brand,
And almost
thence my nature is subdued
To what it works in, like the dyer's hand:
Pity me then, and wish I were renewed,
Whilst like a
willing patient I will drink,
Potions of eisel 'gainst my strong infection,
No
bitterness that I will bitter think,
Nor double
penance to correct correction.
Pity me then dear friend, and I assure ye,
Even that your pity is enough to cure me.
112
Your love and pity doth th'
impression fill,
Which
vulgarscandal stamped upon my brow,
For what care I who calls me well or ill,
So you o'er-green my bad, my good allow?
You are my all the world, and I must
strive,
To know my shames and praises from your tongue,
None else to me, nor I to none alive,
That my steeled sense or changes right or wrong.
In so
profound abysm I throw all care
Of others' voices, that my adder's sense,
To
critic and to flatterer stopped are:
Mark how with my
neglect I do dispense.
You are so
strongly in my purpose bred,
That all the world besides
methinks are dead.
113
Since I left you, mine eye is in my mind,
And that which governs me to go about,
Doth part his
function, and is
partly blind,
Seems
seeing, but
effectually is out:
For it no form delivers to the heart
Of bird, of flower, or shape which it doth latch,
Of his quick objects hath the mind no part,
Nor his own
vision holds what it doth catch:
For if it see the rud'st or gentlest sight,
The most sweet favour or deformed'st creature,
The mountain, or the sea, the day, or night:
The crow, or dove, it shapes them to your feature.
Incapable of more, replete with you,
My most true mind thus maketh mine untrue.
114
Or whether doth my mind being crowned with you
Drink up the monarch's
plague this
flattery?
Or whether shall I say mine eye saith true,
And that your love taught it this alchemy?
To make of monsters, and things indigest,
Such cherubins as your sweet self resemble,
Creating every bad a perfect best
As fast as objects to his beams assemble:
O 'tis the first, 'tis
flattery in my
seeing,
And my great mind most
kingly drinks it up,
Mine eye well knows what with his gust is 'greeing,
And to his palate doth prepare the cup.
If it be
poisoned, 'tis the
lesser sin,
That mine eye loves it and doth first begin.
115
Those lines that I before have writ do lie,
Even those that said I could not love you dearer,
Yet then my judgment knew no reason why,
My most full flame should afterwards burn clearer,
But
reckoning time, whose millioned accidents
Creep in 'twixt vows, and change decrees of kings,
Tan
sacred beauty, blunt the sharp'st intents,
Divert strong minds to the course of alt'ring things:
Alas why fearing of time's tyranny,
Might I not then say 'Now I love you best,'
When I was certain o'er incertainty,
Crowning the present, doubting of the rest?
Love is a babe, then might I not say so
To give full growth to that which still doth grow.
116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments, love is not love
Which alters when it
alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his
height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's
compass come,
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
117
Accuse me thus, that I have scanted all,
Wherein I should your great deserts repay,
Forgot upon your dearest love to call,
Whereto all bonds do tie me day by day,
That I have
frequent been with unknown minds,
And given to time your own dear-purchased right,
That I have hoisted sail to all the winds
Which should
transport me
farthest from your sight.
Book both my wilfulness and errors down,
And on just proof
surmise, accumulate,
Bring me within the level of your frown,
But shoot not at me in your wakened hate:
Since my
appeal says I did
strive to prove
The
constancy and
virtue of your love.
118
Like as to make our
appetite more keen
With eager compounds we our palate urge,
As to prevent our maladies unseen,
We
sicken to shun
sickness when we purge.
Even so being full of your ne'er-cloying sweetness,
To bitter sauces did I frame my feeding;
And sick of
welfare found a kind of meetness,
To be
diseased ere that there was true needing.
Thus
policy in love t' anticipate
The ills that were not, grew to faults assured,
And brought to medicine a
healthful state
Which rank of
goodness would by ill be cured.
But
thence I learn and find the lesson true,
Drugs
poison him that so feil sick of you.
119
What potions have I drunk of Siren tears
Distilled from limbecks foul as hell within,
Applying fears to hopes, and hopes to fears,
Still losing when I saw my self to win!
What
wretched errors hath my heart committed,
Whilst it hath thought it self so
blessed never!
How have mine eyes out of their spheres been fitted
In the distraction of this madding fever!
O benefit of ill, now I find true
That better is, by evil still made better.
And ruined love when it is built anew
Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater.
So I return rebuked to my content,
And gain by ills
thrice more than I have spent.
120
That you were once
unkind befriends me now,
And for that sorrow, which I then did feel,
Needs must I under my transgression bow,
Unless my nerves were brass or hammered steel.
For if you were by my
unkindness shaken
As I by yours, y'have passed a hell of time,
And I a
tyrant have no
leisure taken
To weigh how once I suffered in your crime.
O that our night of woe might have remembered
My deepest sense, how hard true sorrow hits,
And soon to you, as you to me then tendered
The
humble salve, which wounded bosoms fits!
But that your
trespass now becomes a fee,
Mine
ransoms yours, and yours must
ransom me.
121
'Tis better to be vile than vile esteemed,
When not to be, receives
reproach of being,
And the just pleasure lost, which is so deemed,
Not by our feeling, but by others'
seeing.