moment how great was my amonishment at
seeing Reginald come out of Lady
Susan's dressing-room. My heart misgave me
instantly. His
confusion at
seeing me was very
evident. Frederica immediately disappeared. "Are you
going?" I said; "you will find Mr. Vernon in his own room." "No,
Catherine," he replied, "I am not going. Will you let me speak to you a
moment?" We went into my room. "I find," he continued, his
confusionincreasing as he spoke, "that I have been
acting with my usual foolish
impetuosity. I have entirely misunderstood Lady Susan, and was on the point
of leaving the house under a false
impression of her conduct. There has
been some very great mistake; we have been all
mistaken, I fancy. Frederica
does not know her mother. Lady Susan means nothing but her good, but she
will not make a friend of her. Lady Susan does not always know,
therefore,
what will make her daughter happy. Besides, I could have no right to
interfere. Miss Vernon was
mistaken in applying to me. In short, Catherine,
everything has gone wrong, but it is now all happily settled. Lady Susan, I
believe, wishes to speak to you about it, if you are at leisure."
"Certainly," I replied, deeply sighing at the
recital of so lame a story. I
made no comments, however, for words would have been vain.
Reginald was glad to get away, and I went to Lady Susan, curious,
indeed, to hear her
account of it. "Did I not tell you," said she with a
smile, "that your brother would not leave us after all?" "You did, indeed,"
replied I very
gravely; "but I flattered myself you would be
mistaken." "I
should not have hazarded such an opinion," returned she, "if it had not at
that moment occurred to me that his
resolution of going might be
occasioned by a conversation in which we had been this morning engaged, and
which had ended very much to his
dissatisfaction, from our not rightly
understanding each other's meaning. This idea struck me at the moment, and
I
instantly determined that an
accidentaldispute, in which I might
probably be as much to blame as himself, should not
deprive you of your
brother. If you remember, I left the room almost immediately. I was
resolved to lose no time in
clearing up those mistakes as far as I could.
The case was this--Frederica had set herself
violently" target="_blank" title="ad.强暴地;猛烈地">
violently against marrying Sir
James." "And can your ladyship wonder that she should?" cried I with some
warmth; "Frederica has an excellent understanding, and Sir James has none."
"I am at least very far from regretting it, my dear sister," said she; "on
the
contrary, I am
grateful for so favourable a sign of my daughter's
sense. Sir James is certainly below par (his
boyish manners make him appear
worse); and had Frederica possessed the penetration and the abilities which
I could have wished in my daughter, or had I even known her to possess as
much as she does, I should not have been
anxious for the match." "It is odd
that you should alone be
ignorant of your daughter's sense!" "Frederica
never does justice to herself; her manners are shy and
childish, and
besides she is afraid of me. During her poor father's life she was a spoilt
child; the
severity which it has since been necessary for me to show has
alienated her
affection; neither has she any of that brilliancy of
intellect, that
genius or
vigour of mind which will force itself forward."
"Say rather that she has been
unfortunate in her education!" "Heaven knows,
my dearest Mrs. Vernon, how fully I am aware of that; but I would wish to
forget every circumstance that might throw blame on the memory of one whose
name is
sacred with me." Here she pretended to cry; I was out of patience
with her. "But what," said I, "was your ladyship going to tell me about
your
disagreement with my brother?" "It originated in an action of my
daughter's, which
equally marks her want of judgment and the
unfortunatedread of me I have been mentioning--she wrote to Mr. De Courcy." "I know
she did; you had
forbidden her
speaking to Mr. Vernon or to me on the cause
of her
distress; what could she do,
therefore, but apply to my brother?"
"Good God!" she exclaimed, "what an opinion you must have of me! Can you
possibly suppose that I was aware of her unhappiness! that it was my object
to make my own child
miserable, and that I had
forbidden her
speaking to
you on the subject from a fear of your interrupting the diabolical scheme?
Do you think me
destitute of every honest, every natural feeling? Am I
capable of consigning HER to
everlasting:
misery whose
welfare it is my
first
earthly duty to
promote? The idea is horrible!" "What, then, was your
intention when you insisted on her silence?" "Of what use, my dear sister,
could be any
application to you, however the affair might stand? Why should
I subject you to
entreaties which I refused to attend to myself? Neither
for your sake nor for hers, nor for my own, could such a thing be
desirable. When my own
resolution was taken I could nor wish for the
interference, however friendly, of another person. I was
mistaken, it is
true, but I believed myself right." "But what was this mistake to which
your ladyship so often alludes! from
whence arose so
astonishing a
misconception of your daughter's feelings! Did you not know that she
disliked Sir James?" "I knew that he was not
absolutely the man she would
have chosen, but I was persuaded that her objections to him did not arise
from any
perception of his
deficiency. You must not question me, however,
my dear sister, too minutely on this point," continued she,
taking me
affectionately by the hand; "I
honestly own that there is something to
conceal. Frederica makes me very
unhappy! Her applying to Mr. De Courcy
hurt me particularly." "What is it you mean to infer," said I, " by this
appearance of
mystery? If you think your daughter at all attached to
Reginald, her objecting to Sir James could not less
deserve to be attended
to than if the cause of her objecting had been a
consciousness of his folly
; and why should your ladyship, at any rate, quarrel with my brother for an
interference which, you must know, it is not in his nature to refuse when
urged in such a manner?"
"His
disposition, you know, is warm, and he came to expostulate with me;
his
compassion" target="_blank" title="n.同情;怜悯">
compassion all alive for this ill-used girl, this
heroine in
distress!
We misunderstood each other: he believed me more to blame than I really
was; I considered his
interference less excusable than I now find it. I
have a real regard for him, and was beyond expression mortified to find
it, as I thought, so ill bestowed We were both warm, and of course both to
blame. His
resolution of leaving Churchhill is
consistent with his general
eagerness. When I understood his
intention, however, and at the same time
began to think that we had been perhaps
equallymistaken in each other's
meaning, I
resolved to have an
explanation before it was too late. For any
member of your family I must always feel a degree of
affection, and I own
it would have sensibly hurt me if my
acquaintance with Mr. De Courcy had
ended so
gloomily. I have now only to say further, that as I am
convinced
of Frederica's having a
reasonabledislike to Sir James, I shall
instantlyinform him that he must give up all hope of her. I
reproach myself for
having even, though
innocently, made her
unhappy on that score. She shall
have all the retribution in my power to make; if she value her own
happiness as much as I do, if she judge
wisely, and command herself as she
ought, she may now be easy. Excuse me, my dearest sister, for thus
trespassing on your time, but I owe it to my own
character; and after this
explanation I trust I am in no danger of sinking in your opinion." I could
have said, "Not much, indeed!" but I left her almost in silence. It was
the greatest stretch of
forbearance I could
practise. I could not have
stopped myself had I begun. Her assurance! her deceit! but I will not allow
myself to dwell on them; they will strike you
sufficiently. My heart
sickens within me. As soon as I was tolerably
composed I returned to the
parlour. Sir James's
carriage was at the door, and he, merry as usual, soon
afterwards took his leave. How easily does her ladyship
encourage or
dismiss a lover! In spite of this
release, Frederica still looks
unhappy:
still
fearful, perhaps, of her mother's anger; and though dreading my
brother's
departure,
jealous, it may be, of his staying. I see how closely
she observes him and Lady Susan, poor girl! I have now no hope for her.
There is not a chance of her
affection being returned. He thinks very
differently of her from what he used to do; he does her some justice, but
his
reconciliation with her mother precludes every dearer hope. Prepare, my
dear mother, for the worst! The
probability of their marrying is surely
heightened! He is more
securely hers than ever. When that
wretched event
takes place, Frederica must belong
wholly to us. I am
thankful that my last
letter will
precede this by so little, as every moment that you can be
saved from feeling a joy which leads only to
disappointment is of
consequence.
Yours ever, &c.,
CATHERINE VERNON.
XXV
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Churchhill.
I call on you, dear Alicia, for congratulations: I am my own self, gay
and
triumphant! When I wrote to you the other day I was, in truth, in high
irritation, and with ample cause. Nay, I know not whether I ought to be
quite
tranquil now, for I have had more trouble in restoring peace than I
ever intended to
submit to--a spirit, too, resulting from a fancied sense
of superior
integrity, which is
peculiarlyinsolent! I shall not easily
forgive him, I assure you. He was
actually on the point of leaving
Churchhill! I had scarcely concluded my last, when Wilson brought me word
of it. I found,
therefore, that something must be done; for I did not
choose to leave my
character at the mercy of a man whose passions are so
violent and so revengeful. It would have been
trifling with my reputation
to allow of his departing with such an
impression in my disfavour; in this
light, condescension was necessary. I sent Wilson to say that I desired to
speak with him before he went; he came immediately. The angry emotions
which had marked every feature when we last parted were
partially subdued.
He seemed astonished at the summons, and looked as if half wishing and half
fearing to be softened by what I might say. If my
countenance expressed