今天我们来继续学习怎样起草和修改信件。



Drafting: How To Do It



LETTER TO MR PERRY: DRAFTING



Now that you know what drafting is all about, you can draft the letter to Mr Perry.



To do this, you need to have your plan with you so you can write according to your plan. You also need a pen and paper.



Remember the two strategies when you draft:



Keep writing

Don't edit.

LETTER TO MR PERRY



Use the information on this screen to draft a letter.



Situation:



Our customer, Mr Robert Perry, deposited a cheque through 'Quick Deposit' into his Premier account. Unfortunately, the name on the cheque (the bearer's name) was not exactly the same as the name on the account. The name on the cheque was Mr Robert Pery (not Perry). As a result, the money was not credited to Mr Perry's account.



Solution:



Mr Perry needs to ask the drawer to write another cheque, making sure the name is exactly the same as on the account card. Then, the money can be deposited into this account.



Account Details:



Name: Mr Perry



Address: Flat 3A, Bayshore Tower, Mary's Point, Vancouver



Account No.: 613 556556 888



Cheque No.: 60263



Payee Name: Mr R Pery



Name on Account Record: Mr R Perry



When you finish, write "First Draft" on the top margin of your letter. You'll work on the draft later in this chapter and also in Chapters 4-6 and 8.



Revising: Why Do It



You've now completed your draft, and you're ready to move on to the next stage of the Writing Process: Revise.



Why do you think revising is important?



Revising your writing transforms your unfinished draft into an effective letter that gets results.



In fact, revising is so important that you often need to revise your writing several times. This is the longest stage in the Writing Process.



To see why revising is important, look at the letter below. The writer has forgotten to revise it. As you read the letter, think about the three questions in the box on the right.



Dear Ms Green



PPS







I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date.



Thank you for your kind attention.







Yours sincerely



Clever Man







Clever Man



Manager



Smart Branch

Questions







What is the letter about







Not very clear - it could be about something (PPS?) that the writer has sent



What does the writer want Ms Green to do







Also not clear - Ms Green could only guess.







If you were Ms Green, what would you do after reading the letter

















What is the letter about



Not very clear - it could be about something (PPS?) that the writer has sent







What does the writer want Ms Green to do



Also not clear - Ms Green could only guess.







If you were Ms Green, what would you do after reading the letter



You may need to call or write to the writer and ask for an explanation.





As you can see, the writer of the letter may need to send another letter to explain. That is, the letter does not get the intended results.



Revising: How To Do It



How can you revise your writing?



You've used strategies for all the other stages in the Writing Process. You also can use a strategy for revising.



The strategy you can use for revising is very easy to remember. It's based on the "5 Cs".



Strategy for Revising:



Complete

Cohesive

Clear

Concise

Courteous

In fact, to ensure that your letter gets results, you need to revise your letter 5 times. Each time you revise, you'll focus on one of the "5 Cs".



The strategy you can use to revise your writing is very systematic.



You start revising the whole document and then move on to smaller parts such as paragraphs and sentences.



Whole paragraph is complete.



Paragraphs are cohesive.



Sentences are concise, courteous and clear.



下一次，我们将继续讨论怎样将信件写得更完整。
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