我将连续登载有氧读写课程上这些11岁（六年级）孩子们写的故事，这是一个命题作文，选自Writing


Roadmap在线写作测评系统中美国三~四年级孩子的作文库，故事的开头是"一天，一只恐龙闯进了学校。"要求孩子们描述恐龙在学校干了什么，最后发生了什么。



这是有氧读写课程的孩子们阅读了三篇故事，练习了两篇叙事文后（每篇都在课程指导下修改了三稿）的作品。在上这个课程之前，孩子们没有上过专门的英语写作课程，有些甚至除了英语测验和考试中的小短文外，从来没有尝试过任何方式的英语写作。






我选择了登载他们的原文，尽管里面有这样那样的错误，但在我看来，这些语言层面的错误随着不断的讲解、练习和修正总会改好的。这些作文的突出点是在它们语言和内容的流畅度和逻辑性上，这不是七次读写课程就能够锻炼出来的能力，只能说是孩子们具备这样的潜能，而读写课程所做的就是激发出了这种潜能。在此感谢他们的父母们给予我的配合，以及给予孩子们的支持和鼓励。


Athena


A Dinosaur Attack


Last Monday, we heard a huge noise when we were


having English class. What 's up? We stood up, looked out of the


window and saw a small monster. The monster was not very big. It


was about 170 centimeters long and one person tall. It was


brown.


All at once someone cried, "Help! A monster!" Some girls hid under


the desk, some boys were surprise that they couldn't speak.


Suddenly, I cried "Be quick, ran out of the classroom! We will be


eaten!" We ran out of the class room towards the


playground. The monster ran


behind us. We ran around the playground. In the end, we were too


tired to run. It spoke, "Don't be afraid, I am a dinosaur. I won't


eat you. I want to be your friend." The voice sounded like our


Science teacher. "I want to be your friend. What's your opinion? Do


you want to play with me?" the dinosaur asked again. "Be friend?


This can't be happening, if you eat we?" said Tom. 'I don't think


so, because the dinosaur looks friendly and it can be a special


friend, it can tell us something about the dinosaur. Am I right,


Athena?" ask Anna. "Me? Why do you ask me?" "Because you are my


best friend." "Well, I think we


can be friends . Because we can't see dinosaur now. We can let it


to help us Science." "We'd like to be your friend, but you must


tell us something about you." "OK, that's all be fine. I am glad to


do that."


We play with the dinosaur the whole class. We shook hands with the


dinosaur. We rode on it bake. It told us how many kind of dinosaur


are there in a world. Above sixty-five dinosaur in a world. It told


us how did dinosaur live and so on. We have good time in science


class. We are really satisfying that we couldn't control ourselves.


We want it to ran more fast, but suddenly the dinosaur stopped.


"Why does it stop?" "Because it is a electric dinosaur." It is our


science teacher. "To day we learn dinosaur. Do you know much about


it? That is the end of the class." It was really an interesting


class.

• monster [´mɔnstə] n.怪物 a.大得异常的 (初中英语单词)
• playground [´pleigraund] n.操场；运动场 (高中英语单词)
• happening [´hæpəniŋ] n.事件，偶然发生的事 (英语四级单词)