420 BC
THE CLOUDS
by Aristophanes
anonymous translator
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
STREPSIADES
PHIDIPPIDES
SERVANT OF STREPSIADES
DISCIPLES OF SOCRATES
SOCRATES
JUST DISCOURSE
UNJUST DISCOURSE
PASIAS, a Money-lender
AMYNIAS, another Money-lender
CHORUS OF CLOUDS
CLOUDS
(SCENE:-In the
background are two houses, that of Strepsiades and
that of Socrates, the Thoughtery. The latter is small and dingy;
the in, terior of the former is shown and two beds are seen, each
occupied.)
STREPSIADES (sitting up)
GREAT gods! will these nights never end? will
daylight never come?
I heard the cock crow long ago and my slaves are snoring still! Ah! Ah!
It wasn't like this
formerly. Curses on the war! has it not done
me ills enough? Now I may not even
chastise my own slaves. Again
there's this brave lad, who never wakes the whole long night, but,
wrapped in his five coverlets, farts away to his heart's content.
(He lies down) Come! let me
nestle in well and snore too, if it be
possible....oh!
misery, it's vain to think of sleep with all these
expenses, this
stable, these debts, which are devouring me, thanks
to this fine
cavalier, who only knows how to look after his long
locks, to show himself off in his
chariot and to dream of horses!
And I, I am nearly dead, when I see the moon bringing the third decade
in her train and my
liability falling due....Slave! light the lamp and
bring me my tablets. (The slave obeys.) Who are all my creditors?
Let me see and
reckon up the interest. What is it I owe?....Twelve
minae to Pasias....What! twelve minae to Pasias?....Why did I borrow
these? Ah! I know! It was to buy that thoroughbred, which cost me so
much. How I should have prized the stone that had blinded him!
PHIDIPPIDES (in his sleep)
That's not fair, Philo! Drive your
chariot straight, I say.
STREPSIADES
This is what is destroying me. He raves about horses, even in
his sleep.
PHIDIPPIDES (still sleeping)
How many times round the track is the race for the
chariots of
war?
STREPSIADES
It's your own father you are driving to death....to ruin. Come!
what debt comes next, after that of Pasias?....Three minae to
Amynias for a
chariot and its two wheels.
PHIDIPPIDES (still asleep)
Give the horse a good roll in the dust and lead him home.
STREPSIADES
Ah!
wretched boy! it's my money that you are making roll. My
creditors have distrained on my goods, and here are others again,
who demand
security for their interest.
PHIDIPPIDES (awaking)
What is the matter with you, father, that you groan and turn about
the whole night through?
STREPSIADES
I have a bum-bailiff in the bedclothes
biting me.
PHIDIPPIDES
For pity's sake, let me have a little sleep. (He turns over.)
STREPSIADES
Very well, sleep on! but remember that all these debts will fall
back on your shoulders. Oh! curses on the go-between who made me marry
your mother! I lived so happily in the country, a commonplace,
everyday life, but a good and easy one-had not a trouble, not a
care, was rich in bees, in sheep and in olives. Then indeed I had to
marry the niece of Megacles, the son of Megacles; I belonged to the
country, she was from the town; she was a
haughty, extravagant
woman, a true Coesyra. On the
nuptial day, when I lay beside her, I
was reeking of the dregs of the wine-cup, of
cheese and of wool; she
was redolent with essences, saffron, voluptuous kisses, the love of
spending, of good cheer and of
wanton delights. I will not say she did
nothing; no, she worked hard...to ruin me, and pretending all the
while merely to be showing her the cloak she had woven for me, I said,
"Wife you go too fast about your work, your threads are too closely
woven and you use far too much wool."
(A slave enters witk a lamp.)
SLAVE
There is no more oil in the lamp.
STREPSIADES
Why then did you light such a thirsty lamp? Come here, I am
going to beat you.
SLAVE
What for?
STREPSIADES
Because you have put in too thick a wick....Later, when we had
this boy, what was to be his name? It was the cause of much
quarrelling with my
loving wife. She insisted on having some reference
to a horse in his name, that he should be called Xanthippus, Charippus
or Callippides. I wanted to name him Phidonides after his grandfather.
We disputed long, and finally agreed to style him Phidippides....She
used to fondle and coax him,
saying, "Oh! what a joy it will be to
me when you have grown up, to see you, like my father, Megacles,
clothed in
purple and
standing up straight in your
chariot driving
your steeds toward the town." And I would say to him, "When, like your
father, you will go, dressed in a skin, to fetch back your goats
from Phelleus." Alas! he never listened to me and his
madness for
horses has shattered my fortune. (He gets out of bed.) But by dint
of thinking the livelong night, I have discovered a road to salvation,
both
miraculous and
divine. If he will but follow it, I shall be out
of my trouble! First, however, he must be awakened, but it must be
done as
gently as possible. How shall I manage it? Phidippides! my
little Phidippides!
PHIDIPPIDES (awaking again)
What is it, father?
STREPSIADES
Kiss me and give me your hand.
PHIDIPPIDES (getting up and doing as his father requests)
There! What's it all about?
STREPSIADES
Tell me! do you love me?
PHIDIPPIDES
By Posidon, the equestrian Posidon! yes, I swear I do.
STREPSIADES
Oh, do not, I pray you,
invoke this god of horses; he is the one
who is the cause of all my cares. But if you really love me, and
with your whole heart, my boy, believe me.
PHIDIPPIDES
Believe you? about what?
STREPSIADES
Alter your habits
forthwith and go and learn what I tell you.
PHIDIPPIDES
Say on, what are your orders?
STREPSIADES
Will you obey me ever so little?
PHIDIPPIDES
By Bacchus, I will obey you.
STREPSIADES
Very well then! Look this way. Do you see that little door and
that little house?
PHIDIPPIDES
Yes, father. But what are you driving at?
STREPSIADES
That is the Thoughtery of wise souls. There they prove that we are
coals enclosed on all sides under a vast snuffer, which is the sky. If
well paid, these men also teach one how to gain law-suits, whether
they be just or not.
PHIDIPPIDES
What do they call themselves?
STREPSIADES
I do not know exactly, but they are deep thinkers and most
admirable people.
PHIDIPPIDES
Bah! the wretches! I know them; you mean those quacks with pale
faces, those
barefoot fellows, such as that
miserable Socrates and
Chaerephon?
STREPSIADES
Silence! say nothing foolish! If you desire your father not to die
of
hunger, join their company and let your horses go.
PHIDIPPIDES
No, by Bacchus! even though you gave me the pheasants that
Leogoras raises.
STREPSIADES
Oh! my
beloved son, I
beseech you, go and follow their teachings.
PHIDIPPIDES
And what is it I should learn?
STREPSIADES
It seems they have two courses of
reasoning, the true and the
false, and that, thanks to the false, the worst law-suits can be
gained. If then you learn this science, which is false, I shall not
have to pay an obolus of all the debts I have
contracted on your
account.
PHIDIPPIDES
No, I will not do it. I should no longer dare to look at our gallant
horsemen, when I had so ruined my tan.
STREPSIADES
Well then, by Demeter! I will no longer support you, neither
you, nor your team, nor your saddle-horse. Go and hang yourself, I
turn you out of house and home.
PHIDIPPIDES
My uncle Megacles will not leave me without horses; I shall go
to him and laugh at your anger.
(He departs. STREPSIADES goes over to SOCRATES' house.)
STREPSIADES
One
rebuff shall not
dishearten me. With the help of the gods I
will enter the Thoughtery and learn myself. (He hesitates.) But at
my age, memory has gone and the mind is slow to grasp things. How
can all these fine distinctions, these subtleties be learned?
(Making up his mind) Bah! why should I dally thus instead of rapping
at the door? Slave, slave!
(He knocks and calls.)
A DISCIPLE (from within)
A
plague on you! Who are you?
STREPSIADES
Strepsiades, the son of Phido, of the deme of Cicynna.
DISCIPLE (coming out of the door)
You are nothing but an
ignorant and
illiterate fellow to let fly
at the door with such kicks. You have brought on a miscarriage-of an
idea!
STREPSIADES
Pardon me, please; for I live far away from here in the country.
But tell me, what was the idea that miscarried?
DISCIPLE
I may not tell it to any but a
disciple.
STREPSIADES
Then tell me without fear, for I have come to study among you.
DISCIPLE