LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
I laugh at your threats, so long as I have on my side Lampito
here, and the noble Theban, my dear Ismenia.... Pass
decree on
decree,
you can do us no hurt, you
wretch abhorred of all your fellows. Why,
only
yesterday, on occasion of the feast of Hecate, I asked my
neighbours of Boeotia for one of their daughters for whom my girls
have a
livelyliking -a fine, fat eel to wit; and if they did not
refuse, all along of your silly
decrees! We shall never cease to
suffer the like, till some one gives you a neat trip-up and breaks
your neck for you! (To LYSISTRATA as she comes out from the
Acropolis) You, Lysistrata, you who are leader of our glorious
enterprise, why do I see you coming towards me with so
gloomy an air?
LYSISTRATA
It's the behaviour of these
naughty women, it's the
female heart
and
femaleweakness that so
discourage me.
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Tell us, tell us, what is it?
LYSISTRATA
I only tell the simple truth.
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
What has happened so disconcerting? Come, tell your friends.
LYSISTRATA
Oh! the thing is so hard to tell-yet so impossible to conceal.
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Never seek to hide any ill that has
befallen our cause.
LYSISTRATA
To blurt it out in a word-we want laying!
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Oh! Zeus, oh! Zeus!
LYSISTRATA
What use
calling upon Zeus? The thing is even as I say. I cannot
stop them any longer from lusting after the men. They are all for
deserting. The first I caught was slipping out by the postern gate
near the cave of Pan; another was letting herself down by a rope and
pulley; a third was busy preparing her escape; while a fourth, perched
on a bird's back, was just
taking wing for Orsilochus' house, when I
seized her by the hair. One and all, they are inventing excuses to
be off home. (Pointing to the gate) Look! there goes one,
tryingto get out! Halloa there! whither away so fast?
FIRST WOMAN
I want to go home; I have some Milesian wool in the house, which
is getting all eaten up by the worms.
LYSISTRATA
Bah! you and your worms! go back, I say!
FIRST WOMAN
I will return immediately, I swear I will by the two
goddesses!
I only have just to spread it out on the bed.
LYSISTRATA
You shall not do anything of the kind! I say, you shall not go.
FIRST WOMAN
Must I leave my wool to spoil then?
LYSISTRATA
Yes, if need be.
SECOND WOMAN
Unhappy woman that I am! Alas for my flax! I've left it at home
unstript!
LYSISTRATA
So, here's another
trying to escape to go home and strip her flax!
SECOND WOMAN
Oh! I swear by the
goddess of light, the
instant I have put it
in condition I will come straight back.
LYSISTRATA
You shall do nothing of the kind! If once you began, others
would want to follow suit.
THIRD WOMAN
Oh!
goddessdivine, Ilithyia, patroness of women in labour,
stay, stay the birth, till I have reached a spot less
hallowed than
Athene's mount!
LYSISTRATA
What mean you by these silly tales?
THIRD WOMAN
I am going to have a child-now, this minute!
LYSISTRATA
But you were not
pregnantyesterday!
THIRD WOMAN
Well, I am to-day. Oh! let me go in search of the midwife,
Lysistrata, quick, quick!
LYSISTRATA
What is this fable you are telling me? (Feeling her stomach) Ah!
what have you got there so hard?
THIRD WOMAN
A male child.
LYSISTRATA
No, no, by Aphrodite! nothing of the sort! Why, it feels like
something hollow-a pot or a
kettle. (Opening her robe) Oh! you silly
creature, if you have not got the
sacredhelmet of Pallas-and you said
you were with child!
THIRD WOMAN
And so I am, by Zeus, I am!
LYSISTRATA
Then why this
helmet, pray?
THIRD WOMAN
For fear my pains should seize me in the Acropolis; I mean to
lay my eggs in this
helmet, as the doves do.
LYSISTRATA
Excuses and pretences every word! the thing's as clear as
daylight. Anyway, you must stay here now till the fifth day, your
day of purification.
THIRD WOMAN
I cannot sleep any more in the Acropolis, now I have seen the
snake that guards the
temple.
FOURTH WOMAN
Ah! and those awful owls with their
dismal hooting! I cannot get a
wink of rest, and I'm just dying of fatigue.
LYSISTRATA
You
wicked women, have done with your falsehoods! You want your
husbands, that's plain enough. But don't you think they want you
just as badly? They are spending
dreadful nights, oh! I know that well
enough. But hold out, my dears, hold out! A little more patience,
and the
victory will be ours. An
oracle promises us success, if only
we remain united. Shall I repeat the words?
THIRD WOMAN
Yes, tell us what the
oracle declares.
LYSISTRATA
Silence then! Now-"Whenas the swallows, fleeing before the
hoopoes, shall have all flocked together in one place, and shall
refrain them from all amorous
commerce, then will be the end of all
the ills of life; yea, and Zeus, who doth
thunder in the skies,
shall set above what was erst below...."
THIRD WOMAN
What! shall the men be underneath?
LYSISTRATA
"But if
dissension do arise among the swallows, and they take wing
from the holy
temple, it will be said there is never a more wanton
bird in all the world."
THIRD WOMAN
Ye gods! the
prophecy is clear.
LYSISTRATA
Nay, never let us be cast down by calamity! let us be brave to
bear, and go back to our posts. It would be
shameful indeed not to
trust the promises of the
oracle.
(They all go back into the Acropolis.)
CHORUS OF OLD MEN (singing)
I want to tell you a fable they used to
relate to me when I was
a little boy. This is it: Once upon a time there was a young man
called Melanion, who hated the thought of marriage so
sorely that he
fled away to the wilds. So he dwelt in the mountains, wove himself
nets, and caught hares. He never, never came back, he had such a
horror of women. As
chaste as Melanion, we
loathe the jades just as
much as he did.
AN OLD MAN (beginning a brief duet with one of the women)
You dear old woman, I would fain kiss you.
WOMAN
I will set you crying without onions.
OLD MAN
And give you a sound kicking.
WOMAN (pointing)
Ah, ha! what a dense forest you have there!
OLD MAN
So was Myronides one of the bushiest of men of this side; his
backside was all black, and he terrified his enemies as much as
Phormio.
CHORUS OF WOMEN (singing)
I want to tell you a fable too, to match yours about Melanion.
Once there was a certain man called Timon, a tough
customer, and a
whimsical, a true son of the Furies, with a face that seemed to
glare out of a thorn-bush. He
withdrew from the world because he
couldn't abide bad men, after vomiting a thousand curses at them. He
had a holy
horror of ill-conditioned fellows, but he was
mighty tender
towards women.
WOMAN (beginning another duet)
Suppose I up and broke your jaw for you!
OLD MAN
I am not a bit afraid of you.
WOMAN
Suppose I let fly a good kick at you?
OLD MAN
I should see your thing then.
WOMAN
You would see that, for all my age, it is very well plucked.
LYSISTRATA (rushing out of the Acropolis)
Ho there! come quick, come quick!
ONE OF THE WOMEN
What is it? Why these cries?
LYSISTRATA
A man! a man! I see him approaching all afire with the flames of
love. Oh!
divine Queen of Cyprus, Paphos and Cythera, I pray you still
be propitious to our enterprise.
WOMAN
Where is he, this unknown foe?
LYSISTRATA
Over there-beside the Temple of Demeter.
WOMAN
Yes, indeed, I see him; but who is he?
LYSISTRATA
Look, look! do any of you recognize him?
MYRRHINE (joyfully)
I do, I do! it's my husband Cinesias.
LYSISTRATA
To work then! Be it your task to
inflame and
torture and torment
him. Seductions, caresses, provocations, refusals, try every means!
Grant every favour,-always excepting what is
forbidden by our oath
on the wine-bowl.
MYRRHINE
Have no fear, I'll do it.
LYSISTRATA
Well, I shall stay here to help you cajole the man and set his
passions aflame. The rest of you withdraw.
(CINESIAS enters, in
obvious and
extremesexualexcitement. A
slave follows him carrying an infant.)
CINESIAS