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shall crave of you your leave that I may bear my evils alone. It
were a bad recompense for your love to lay any of them on you.

ANTONIO. Let me know of you whither you are bound.
SEBASTIAN. No, sooth, sir; my determinate voyage is mere

extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent a touch of
modesty that you will not extort from me what I am willing to

keep in; therefore it charges me in manners the rather to express
myself. You must know of me then, Antonio, my name is Sebastian,

which I call'd Roderigo; my father was that Sebastian of
Messaline whom I know you have heard of. He left behind him

myself and a sister, both born in an hour; if the heavens had
been pleas'd, would we had so ended! But you, sir, alter'd that;

for some hour before you took me from the breach of the sea was
my sister drown'd.

ANTONIO. Alas the day!
SEBASTIAN. A lady, sir, though it was said she much resembled me,

was yet of many accounted beautiful; but though I could not with
such estimable wonder overfar believe that, yet thus far I will

boldly publish her: she bore mind that envy could not but call
fair. She is drown'd already, sir, with salt water, though I seem

to drown her remembrance again with more.
ANTONIO. Pardon me, sir, your bad entertainment.

SEBASTIAN. O good Antonio, forgive me your trouble.
ANTONIO. If you will not murder me for my love, let me be your

servant.
SEBASTIAN. If you will not undo what you have done- that is, kill

him whom you have recover'd-desire it not. Fare ye well at once;
my bosom is full of kindness, and I am yet so near the manners of

my mother that, upon the least occasion more, mine eyes will tell
tales of me. I am bound to the Count Orsino's court. Farewell.

Exit
ANTONIO. The gentleness of all the gods go with thee!

I have many cnemies in Orsino's court,
Else would I very shortly see thee there.

But come what may, I do adore thee so
That danger shall seem sport, and I will go. Exit

SCENE II.
A street

Enter VIOLA and MALVOLIO at several doors
MALVOLIO. Were you not ev'n now with the Countess Olivia?

VIOLA. Even now, sir; on a moderate pace I have since arriv'd but
hither.

MALVOLIO. She returns this ring to you, sir; you might have saved
me my pains, to have taken it away yourself. She adds, moreover,

that you should put your lord into a desperateassurance she will
none of him. And one thing more: that you be never so hardy to

come again in his affairs, unless it be to report your lord's
taking of this. Receive it so.

VIOLA. She took the ring of me; I'll none of it.
MALVOLIO. Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her will is

it should be so return'd. If it be worth stooping for, there it
lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.

Exit
VIOLA. I left no ring with her; what means this lady?

Fortune forbid my outside have not charm'd her!
She made good view of me; indeed, so much

That methought her eyes had lost her tongue,
For she did speak in starts distractedly.

She loves me, sure: the cunning of her passion
Invites me in this churlish messenger.

None of my lord's ring! Why, he sent her none.
I am the man. If it be so- as 'tis-

Poor lady, she were better love a dream.
Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness

Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.
How easy is it for the proper-false

In women's waxen hearts to set their forms!
Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we!

For such as we are made of, such we be.
How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly,

And I, poor monster, fond as much on him;
And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.

What will become of this? As I am man,
My state is desperate for my master's love;

As I am woman- now alas the day!-
What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe!

O Time, thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me t' untie! Exit

SCENE III.
OLIVIA'S house

Enter SIR TOBY and SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY. Approach, Sir Andrew. Not to be abed after midnight is to

be up betimes; and 'diluculo surgere' thou know'st-
AGUECHEEK. Nay, by my troth, I know not; but I know to be up late

is to be up late.
SIR TOBY. A false conclusion! I hate it as an unfill'd can. To be

up after midnight and to go to bed then is early; so that to go
to bed after midnight is to go to bed betimes. Does not our lives

consist of the four elements?
AGUECHEEK. Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists of

eating and drinking.
SIR TOBY. Th'art a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink.

Marian, I say! a stoup of wine.
Enter CLOWN

AGUECHEEK. Here comes the fool, i' faith.
CLOWN. How now, my hearts! Did you never see the picture of 'we

three'?
SIR TOBY. Welcome, ass. Now let's have a catch.

AGUECHEEK. By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I had
rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a

breath to sing, as the fool has. In sooth, thou wast in very
gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of Pigrogromitus,

of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus; 'twas very
good, i' faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman; hadst it?

CLOWN. I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose is no
whipstock. My lady has a white hand, and the Myrmidons are no

bottle-ale houses.
AGUECHEEK. Excellent! Why, this is the best fooling, when all is

done. Now, a song.
SIR TOBY. Come on, there is sixpence for you. Let's have a song.

AGUECHEEK. There's a testril of me too; if one knight give a-
CLOWN. Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life?

SIR TOBY. A love-song, a love-song.
AGUECHEEK. Ay, ay; I care not for good life.

CLOWN sings
O mistress mine, where are you roaming?

O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,
That can sing both high and low.

Trip no further, pretty sweeting;
Journeys end in lovers meeting,

Every wise man's son doth know.
AGUECHEEK. Excellent good, i' faith!

SIR TOBY. Good, good!
CLOWN sings

What is love? 'Tis not hereafter;
Present mirth hath present laughter;

What's to come is still unsure.
In delay there lies no plenty,

Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty;
Youth's a stuff will not endure.

AGUECHEEK. A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.
SIR TOBY. A contagious breath.

AGUECHEEK. Very sweet and contagious, i' faith.
SIR TOBY. To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall

we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall we rouse the night-owl in
a catch that will draw three souls out of one weaver? Shall we do

that?
AGUECHEEK. An you love me, let's do't. I am dog at a catch.

CLOWN. By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.
AGUECHEEK. Most certain. Let our catch be 'Thou knave.'

CLOWN. 'Hold thy peace, thou knave' knight? I shall be constrain'd
in't to call thee knave, knight.

AGUECHEEK. 'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call
me knave. Begin, fool: it begins 'Hold thy peace.'

CLOWN. I shall never begin if I hold my peace.
AGUECHEEK. Good, i' faith! Come, begin. [Catch sung]

Enter MARIA
MARIA. What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not

call'd up her steward Malvolio, and bid him turn you out of
doors, never trust me.

SIR TOBY. My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians, Malvolio's a
Peg-a-Ramsey, and [Sings]

Three merry men be we.
Am not I consanguineous? Am I not of her blood? Tilly-vally,

lady. [Sings]
There dwelt a man in Babylon,

Lady, lady.
CLOWN. Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.

AGUECHEEK. Ay, he does well enough if he be dispos'd, and so do I
too; he does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.

SIR TOBY. [Sings] O' the twelfth day of December-
MARIA. For the love o' God, peace!

Enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO. My masters, are you mad? Or what are you? Have you no

wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this
time of night? Do ye make an ale-house of my lady's house, that

ye squeak out your coziers' catches without any mitigation or
remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor

time, in you?
SIR TOBY. We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up!

MALVOLIO. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell
you that, though she harbours you as her kins-man, she's nothing

allied to your disorders. If you can separate yourself and your
misdemeanours, you are welcome to the house; if not, and it would

please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid you
farewell.

SIR TOBY. [Sings] Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.
MARIA. Nay, good Sir Toby.

CLOWN. [Sings] His eyes do show his days are almost done.
MALVOLIO. Is't even so?

SIR TOBY. [Sings] But I will never die. [Falls down]
CLOWN. [Sings] Sir Toby, there you lie.

MALVOLIO. This is much credit to you.
SIR TOBY. [Sings] Shall I bid him go?

CLOWN. [Sings] What an if you do?
SIR TOBY. [Sings] Shall I bid him go, and spare not?

CLOWN. [Sings] O, no, no, no, no, you dare not.
SIR TOBY. [Rising] Out o' tune, sir! Ye lie. Art any more than a

steward? Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall
be no more cakes and ale?

CLOWN. Yes, by Saint Anne; and ginger shall be hot i' th' mouth
too.

SIR TOBY. Th' art i' th' right. Go, sir, rub your chain with crumbs.
A stoup of wine, Maria!

MALVOLIO. Mistress Mary, if you priz'd my lady's favour at anything
more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil

rule; she shall know of it, by this hand.
Exit

MARIA. Go shake your ears.
AGUECHEEK. 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's ahungry,

to challenge him the field, and then to break promise with him


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