guilty at
finding fault with a dog in this country. It is a matter
of
constant surprise to me, and it always give me a warm glow in the
region of the heart, to see the
supremacy of the dog in England. He
is respected, admired, loved, and considered, as he deserves to be
everywhere, but as he frequently is not. He is admitted on all
excursions; he is taken into the country for his health; he is a
factor in all the master' plans; in short, the English dog is a
member of the family, in good and regular standing.
My
interior surroundings are all
charming. My little sitting-room,
out of which I turned Mrs. Bobby, is bright with potted ferns and
flowering plants, and on its walls, besides the photographs of a
large and
unusually" target="_blank" title="ad.异常地;非常">
unusually plain family, I have two works of art which
inspire me anew every time I gaze at them: the first a scriptural
subject, treated by an
enthusiastic but
inexperienced hand, 'Susanne
dans le Bain, surprise par les Deux Vieillards'; the second, 'The
White Witch of Worcester on her Way to the Stake at High Cross.'
The
fortunate" target="_blank" title="a.不幸的,运气差的">
unfortunate lady in the latter picture is attired in a white
lawn wrapper with angel sleeves, and is followed by an abbess with
prayer-book, and eight surpliced choir-boys with candles. I have
been long enough in England to understand the
significance of the
candles. Doubtless the White Witch had paid four
shillings a week
for each of them in her prison
lodging, and she naturally wished to
burn them to the end.
One has no need, though, of pictures on the walls here, for the
universe seems unrolled at one's very feet. As I look out of my
window the last thing before I go to sleep, I see the lights of
Great Belvern, the dim shadows of the distant
cathedral towers, the
quaint priory seven centuries old, and just the
outline of Holly
Bush Hill, a
sacred seat of magic science when the Druids
investigated the secrets of the stars, and sought, by auspices and
sacrifices, to
forecast the future and to
penetrate the designs of
the gods.
It makes me feel very new, very undeveloped, to look out of that
window. If I were an Englishwoman, say the fifty-fifth
duchess of
something, I could easily glow with pride to think that I was part
and
parcel of such
antiquity; the
fortunate heiress not only of land
and titles, but of
historic associations. But as I am an American
with a very recent
background, I blow out my candle with the feeling
that it is rather grand to be making history for somebody else to
inherit.
Chapter XIX. The heart of the artist.
I am almost too comfortable with Mrs. Bobby. In fact I wished to be
just a little
miserable in Belvern, so that I could paint with a
frenzy. Sometimes, when I have been in a state of almost despairing
loneliness and gloom, the colours have glowed on my
canvas and the
lines have shaped themselves under my hand independent of my own
volition. Now, tucked away in a corner of my
consciousness is the
knowledge that I need never be
lonely again unless I choose. When I
yield myself fully to the sweet
enchantment of this thought, I feel
myself in the mood to paint
sunshine, flowers, and happy children's
faces; yet I am sadly
lacking in
concentration, all the same. The
fact is, I am no artist in the true sense of the word. My hope
flies ever in front of my best success, and that
momentary success
does not
deceive me in the very least. I know exactly how much, or
rather how little, I am worth; that I lack the
imagination, the
industry, the training, the
ambition, to
achieve any lasting
results. I have the
artistictemperament" target="_blank" title="n.气质;性格">
temperament in so far that it is
impossible for me to work merely for money or
popularity, or indeed
for anything less than the desire to express the best that is in me
without fear or favour. It would never occur to me to trade on
present
approval and dash off
unworthy stuff while I have command of
the market. I am quite above all that, but I am
distinctly below
that other
mental and
spiritual level where art is enough; where
pleasure does not
signify; where one shuts oneself up and produces
from sheer necessity; where one is compelled by
relentless law;
where sacrifice does not count; where ideas
throng the brain and
plead for
release in expression; where effort is joy, and the
prospect of doing something
enduring lures the soul on to new and
ever new
endeavour: so I shall never be rich or famous.
What shall I paint to-day? Shall it be the bit of garden underneath
my window, with the
tangle of pinks and roses, and the cabbages
growing appetisingly beside the sweet-williams, the woodbine
climbing over the brown stone wall, the wicket-gate, and the cherry-
tree with its fruit
hanging red against the whitewashed cottage?
Ah, if I could only paint it so truly that you could hear the drowsy
hum of the bees among the thyme, and smell the scented hay-meadows
in the distance, and feel that it is
midsummer in England! That
would indeed be truth, and that would be art. Shall I paint the
Bobby baby as he stoops to pick the cowslips and the flax, his head
as yellow and his eyes as blue as the flowers themselves; or that
bank opposite the gate, with its gorse bushes in golden bloom, its
mountain-ash hung with
scarlet berries, its tufts of harebells
blossoming in the crevices of rock, and the
quaint low clock-tower
at the foot? Can I not paint all these in the full glow of summer-
time in my secret heart
whenever I open the door a bit and admit its
life-giving
warmth and beauty? I think I can, if I can only quit
dreaming.
I wonder how the great artists worked, and under what circumstances
they threw aside the implements of their craft,
impatient of all but
the throb of life itself? Could Raphael paint Madonnas the week of
his betrothal? Did Thackeray write a chapter the day his daughter
was born? Did Plato philosophise
freely when he was in love? Were
there interruptions in the world's great revolutions, histories,
dramas, reforms, poems, and marbles when their creators fell for a
brief moment under the spell of the little blind
tyrant who makes
slaves of us all? It must have been so. Your chronometer heart, on
whose pulsations you can
reckon as on the
procession of the
equinoxes, never gave anything to the world unless it were a system
of diet, or something quite uncoloured and unglorified by the
imagination.
Chapter XX. A canticle to Jane.
There are many
donkeys owned in these nooks among the hills, and
some of the thriftier families keep
donkey-chairs (or 'cheers,' as
they call them) to let to the
casual summer
visitor. This vehicle
is a regular Bath chair, into which the
donkey is harnessed. Some
of them have a tiny driver's seat, where a small lad sits beating
and berating the
donkey for the incumbent, generally a decrepit
dowager from London. Other chairs are minus this
absurd coachman's
perch, and in this sort I take my daily drives. I hire the
miniature
chariot from an old woman who dwells at the top of Gorse
Hill, and who charges one and fourpence the hour, It is a little
more when she fetches the
donkey to the door, or when the weather is
wet or the day is very warm, or there is an
unusualbreeze blowing,
or I wish to go round the hills; but under ordinary circumstances,
which may at any time occur, but which never do, one and four the
hour. It is only a
shilling, if you have the boy to drive you; but,
of course, if you drive yourself, you throw the boy out of
employment, and have to pay extra.
It was in this fashion and on these
elastic terms that I first met
you, Jane, and this chapter shall be
sacred to you! Jane the long-
eared, Jane the iron-jawed, Jane the
stubborn, Jane
donkeyer than
other
donkeys,--in a word, MULIER! It may be that Jane has made her
bow to the public before this. If she has ever come into close
relation with man or woman possessed of the
instinct of self-
expression, then this is certainly not her first appearance in
print, for no human being could know Jane and fail to mention her.
Pause, Jane,--this you will do
gladly, I am sure, since pausing is
the one
accomplishment to which you lend yourself with special
energy,--pause, Jane, while I sing a canticle to your character.
Jane is a tiny--person, I was about to say, for she has so strong an
individuality that I can scarcely think of her as less than human--
Jane is a tiny,
solemn creature, looking all docility and decorum,
with long hair of a subdued tan colour, very much worn off in
patches, I fear, by the offending toe of man.
I am a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals, and I hope that I am as tender-hearted as most women;