me of all my ideas, and gave me none in exchange. Anything so
unspeakably heavy I never encountered. It is very difficult for a
woman who doesn't know a nigh horse from an off one, nor the
wheelers from the headers (or is it the fronters?), to find subjects
of conversation with a gentleman who spends three-fourths of his
existence on a coach. It was the more difficult for me because I
could not decide whether Willie Beresford was cross because I was
devoting myself to the whip, or because Francesca had remained at
home with a
headache. This state of affairs continued for about
fifteen miles, when it suddenly dawned upon the Honourable Arthur
that, however
mistaken my speech and manner, I was
trying to be
agreeable. This
conception acted on the honest and
amiable soul
like magic. I gradually became comprehensible, and finally he gave
himself up to the theory that, though
eccentric, I was
harmless and
amusing, so we got on famously,--so famously that Willie Beresford
grew ridiculously
gloomy, and I
decided that it could not be
Francesca's
headache.
The names of these English streets are a never-failing source of
delight to me. In that one morning we drove past Pie, Pudding, and
Petticoat Lanes, and later on we found ourselves in a 'Prudent
Passage,' which opened, very inappropriately, into 'Huggin Lane.'
Willie Beresford said it was the first time he had ever heard of
anything so
disagreeable as
prudence terminating in anything so
agreeable as huggin'. When he had been
severely reprimanded by his
mother for this
shocking speech, I said to the Honourable Arthur:-
"I don't understand your business signs in England,--this 'Company,
Limited,' and that 'Company, Limited.' That one, of course, is
quite plain" (pointing to the front of a building on the village
street), "'Goat's Milk Company, Limited'; I suppose they have but
one or two goats, and
necessarily the milk must be Limited."
Salemina says that this was not in the least funny, that it was
absolutely flat; but it had quite the opposite effect upon the
Honourable Arthur. He had no command over himself or his horses for
some minutes; and at intervals during the afternoon the full
felicity of the idea would steal upon him, and the smile of
reminiscence would flit across his ruddy face.
The next day, at the Eton and Harrow games at Lord's cricket-ground,
he p
resented three flowers of British
aristocracy to our party, and
asked me each time to tell the goat-story, which he had previously
told himself, and probably murdered in the telling. Not content
with this
arrantflattery, he begged to be allowed to
recount some
of my
international episodes to a
literary friend who writes for
Punch. I demurred
decidedly, but Salemina said that perhaps I ought
to be
willing to lower myself a
trifle for the sake of elevating
Punch! This home-thrust so
delighted the Honourable Arthur that it
remained his favourite joke for days, and the overworked goat was
permitted to enjoy that
oblivion from which Salemina insists it
should never have emerged.
Chapter V. A Hyde Park Sunday.
The Honourable Arthur, Salemina, and I took a
stroll in Hyde Park
one Sunday afternoon, not for the purpose of joining the fashionable
throng of 'pretty people' at Stanhope Gate, but to
mingle with the
common herd in its special precincts,--precincts not set apart,
indeed, by any legal
formula, but by a natural law of classification
which seems to be
inherent in the
universe. It was a curious and
motley crowd--a little dull, perhaps, but
orderly, well-behaved, and
self-respecting, with here and there part of the flotsam and jetsam
of a great city, a
ragged, sodden,
hopelesswretch wending his way
about with the rest,
thankful for any diversion.
Under the trees, each in the centre of his group, large or small
according to his
magnetism and
eloquence, stood the park 'shouter,'
airing his special
grievance, playing his special part, preaching
his special creed, pleading his special cause,--anything, probably,
for the sake of shouting. We were
plainly dressed, and did not
attract
observation as we joined the outside
circle of one of these
groups after another. It was as interesting to watch the listeners
as the speakers. I wished I might paint the sea of faces, eager,
anxious, stolid,
attentive, happy, and
unhappy: histories written
on many of them; others blank, unmarked by any thought or
aspiration. I stole a sidelong look at the Honourable Arthur. He
is an Englishman first, and a man afterwards (I prefer it the other
way), but he does not realise it; he thinks he is just like all
other good fellows, although he is
mistaken. He and Willie
Beresford speak the same language, but they are as different as
Malay and Eskimo. He is an
extreme type, but he is very likeable
and very well worth looking at, with his long coat, his silk hat,
and the white Malmaison in his buttonhole. He is always so
radiantly,
fascinatingly clean, the Honourable Arthur, simple,
frank, direct,
sensible, and he bores me almost to tears.
The first
orator was edifying his hearers with an
explanation of the
drama of The Corsican Brothers, and his
eloquence,
unlike that of
the other speakers, was largely inspired by the hope of pennies. It
was a novel idea, and his
interpretation was rendered very amusing
to us by the
wholly original Yorkshire
accent which he gave to the
French personages and places in the play.
An Irishman in black
clerical garb held the next group together. He
was in some trouble, owing to a pig-headed and quarrelsome Scotchman
in the front rank, who objected to each statement that fell from his
lips, thus interfering
seriously with the effect of his peroration.
If the Irishman had been more
convincing, I suppose the crowd would
have silenced the scoffer, for these little matters of discipline
are always attended to by the
audience; but the Scotchman's points
were too well taken; he was so trenchant, in fact, at times, that a
voice would cry, 'Coom up, Sandy, an' 'ave it all your own w'y,
boy!' The
discussion continued as long as we were within hearing
distance, for the Irishman, though
amiable and
ignorant, was firm,
the 'unconquered Scot' was on his native heath of
argument, and the
listeners were
willing to give them both a hearing.
Under the next tree a fluent Cockney lad of sixteen or eighteen
years was declaiming his bitter experiences with the Salvation Army.
He had been sheltered in one of its beds which was not to his taste,
and it had found
employment for him which he had to walk twenty-two
miles to get, and which was not to his
liking when he did get it. A
meeting of the Salvation Army at a little distance rendered his
speech more interesting, as its points were
repeated and denied as
fast as made.
Of course there were religious groups and
temperance groups, and
groups
devoted to the tearing down or raising up of most things
except the Government; for on that day there were no Anarchist or
Socialist shouters, as is
ordinarily the case.
As we
strolled down one of the broad roads under the shade of the
noble trees, we saw the sun
setting in a red-gold haze; a glory of
vivid colour made indescribably tender and opalescent by the kind of
luminous mist that veils it; a
wholly English
sunset, and an
altogether lovely one. And quite away from the other knots of
people, there leaned against a bit of wire fence a poor old man
surrounded by half a dozen children and one tired woman with a
nursing baby. He had a
tattered book, which seemed to be the story
of the Gospels, and his little flock sat on the greensward at his
feet as he read. It may be that he, too, had been a shouter in his
lustier
manhood, and had held a larger
audience together by the
power of his
belief; but now he was
helpless to attract any but the
children. Whether it was the pathos of his white hairs, his garb of
shreds and patches, or the mild benignity of his eye that moved me,
I know not, but among all the Sunday shouters in Hyde Park it seemed
to me that that quavering voice of the past spoke with the truest
note.
Chapter VI. The English Park Lover.
The English Park Lover,
loving his love on a green bench in
Kensington Gardens or Regent's Park, or indeed in any spot where
there is a green bench, so long as it is within full view of the
passer-by,--this English public lover, male or
female, is a most
interesting study, for we have not his exact counterpart in America.
He is
thoroughlyrespectable, I should think, my urban Colin. He
does not have the air of a gay deceiver roving from flower to
flower, stealing honey as he goes; he looks, on the
contrary, as if
it were his
intention to lead Phoebe to the altar on the next bank
holiday; there is a dead calm in his actions which bespeaks no other
course. If Colin were a Don Juan, surely he would be a
trifle more
ardent, for there is no
tropical fervour in his matter-of-fact
caresses. He does not
embrace Phoebe in the park,
apparently,
because he adores her to
madness; because her smile is like fire in
his veins, melting down all his defences; because the intoxication