a father to him. Her second son, Robert, being out of his time at
Irville, went to the Clyde to look for a berth, and was hired to go

to Jamaica, in a ship called the Trooper. He was a lad of greater
sobriety of nature than Charles; douce, honest, and faithful; and

when he came home, though he brought no limes to me to make punch,
like his brother, he brought a Muscovy duck to Lady Macadam, who

had, as I have related, in a manner educated his sister Kate. That
duck was the first of the kind we had ever seen, and many thought it

was of the goose species, only with short bowly legs. It was,
however, a tractable and homely beast; and after some confabulation,

as my lady herself told Mrs Balwhidder, it was received into
fellowship by her other ducks and poultry. It is not, however, so

much on account of the rarity of the creature, that I have
introduced it here, as for the purpose of relating a wonderful

operation that was performed on it by Miss Sabrina, the
schoolmistress.

There happened to be a sack of beans in our stable, and Lady
Macadam's hens and fowls, which were not overly fed at home through

the inattention of her servants, being great stravaigers for their
meat, in passing the door went in to pick, and the Muscovy, seeing a

hole in the bean-sack, dabbled out a crapful before she was
disturbed. The beans swelled on the poor bird's stomach, and her

crap bellied out like the kyte of a Glasgow magistrate, until it was
just a sight to be seen with its head back on its shoulders. The

bairns of the clachan followed it up and down, crying, the lady's
muckle jock's aye growing bigger, till every heart was wae for the

creature. Some thought it was afflicted with a tympathy, and
others, that it was the natural way for such-like ducks to cleck

their young. In short, we were all concerned; and my lady, having a
great opinion of Miss Sabrina's skill, had a consultation" target="_blank" title="n.商量；会诊；查阅">consultation with her

on the case, at which Miss Sabrina advised, that what she called the
Caesarean operation should be tried, which she herself performed

accordingly, by opening the creature's crap, and taking out as many
beans as filled a mutchkin stoup, after which she sewed it up, and

the Muscovy went its way to the water-side, and began to swim, and
was as jocund as ever; insomuch, that in three days after it was

quite cured of all the consequences of its surfeit.
I had at one time a notion to send an account of this to the Scots

Magazine, but something always came in the way to prevent me; so
that it has been reserved for a place in this chronicle, being,

after Mr Heckletext's affair, the most memorable thing in our
history of this year.

CHAPTER XIV YEAR 1773
In this Ann. Dom. there was something like a plea getting to a head,

between the session and some of the heritors, about a new school-
house; the thatch having been torn from the rigging of the old one

by a blast of wind, on the first Monday of February, by which a
great snow storm got admission, and the school was rendered utterly

uninhabitable. The smaller sort of lairds were very willing to come
into the plan with an extra contribution, because they respected the

master, and their bairns were at the school; but the gentlemen, who
had tutors in their own houses, were not so manageable; and some of

them even went so far as to say, that the kirk, being only wanted on
Sunday, would do very well for a school all the rest of the week,

which was a very profane way of speaking; and I was resolved to set
myself against any such thing, and to labour, according to the power

and efficacy of my station, to get a new school built.
Many a meeting the session had on the subject; and the heritors

debated, and discussed, and revised their proceedings, and still no
money for the needful work was forthcoming. Whereupon it happened

one morning, as I was rummaging in my scrutoire, that I laid my hand
on the Lord Eaglesham's letter anent Charles Malcolm; and it was put

into my head at that moment, that if I was to write to his lordship,
who was the greatest heritor, and owned now the major part of the

parish, that by his help and influence I might be an instrument to
the building of a comfortable new school. Accordingly, I sat down

and wrote my lord all about the accident, and the state of the
school-house, and the divisions and seditions among the heritors,

and sent the letter to him at London by the post the same day,
without saying a word to any living soul on the subject.

This in me was an advised thought; for, by the return of post, his
lordship with his own hand, in a most kind manner, authorized me to

say that he would build a new school at his own cost, and bade me go
over and consult about it with his steward at the castle, to whom he

had written by the same post the necessary instructions. Nothing
could exceed the gladness which the news gave to the whole parish,

and none said more in behalf of his lordship's bounty and liberality
than the heritors; especially those gentry who grudged the

undertaking, when it was thought that it would have to come out of
their own pock-nook.

In the course of the summer, just as the roof was closing in of the
school-house, my lord came to the castle with a great company, and

was not there a day till he sent for me to come over, on the next
Sunday, to dine with him; but I sent him word that I could not do

so, for it would be a transgression of the Sabbath, which made him
send his own gentleman, to make his apology for having taken so

great a liberty with me, and to beg me to come on the Monday, which
I accordingly did, and nothing could be better than the discretion

with which I was used. There was a vast company of English ladies
and gentlemen, and his lordship, in a most jocose manner, told them

all how he had fallen on the midden, and how I had clad him in my
clothes, and there was a wonder of laughing and diversion; but the

most particular thing in the company, was a large, round-faced man,
with a wig, that was a dignitary in some great Episcopalian church

in London, who was extraordinary condescending towards me, drinking
wine with me at the table, and saying weighty sentences, in a fine

style of language, about the becoming grace of simplicity and
innocence of heart, in the clergy of all denominations of

Christians, which I was pleased to hear; for really he had a proud
red countenance, and I could not have thought he was so mortified to

humility within, had I not heard with what sincerity he delivered
himself, and seen how much reverence and attention was paid to him

by all present, particularly by my lord's chaplain, who was a pious
and pleasant young divine, though educated at Oxford for the

Episcopalian persuasion.
One day, soon after, as I was sitting in my closet conning a sermon

for the next Sunday, I was surprised by a visit from the dean, as
the dignitary was called. He had come, he said, to wait on me as

rector of the parish--for so, it seems, they call a pastor in
England--and to say, that, if it was agreeable, he would take a

family dinner with us before he left the castle. I could make no
objection to this kindness; but said I hoped my lord would come with

him, and that we would do our best to entertain them with all
suitable hospitality. About an hour or so after he had returned to

the castle, one of the flunkeys brought a letter from his lordship,
to say, that not only he would come with the dean, but that they

would bring his other guests with them; and that, as they could only
drink London wine, the butler would send me a hamper in the morning,

assured, as he was pleased to say, that Mrs Balwhidder would
otherwise provide good cheer.

This notification, however, was a great trouble to my wife, who was
only used to manufacture the produce of our glebe and yard to a

profitable purpose, and not used to the treatment of deans and
lords, and other persons of quality. However, she was determined to

stretch a point on this occasion; and we had, as all present
declared, a charming dinner; for fortunately one of the sows had a

litter of pigs a few days before, and in addition to a goose, that
is but a boss bird, we had a roasted pig with an apple in its mouth,

which was just a curiosity to see; and my lord called it a tithe
pig; but I told him it was one of Mrs Balwhidder's own clecking,

which saying of mine made no little sport when expounded to the
dean.

But, och how! this was the last happy summer that we had for many a