whole summer passed away and nothing was done. I therefore

postponed my design of writing a book till the winter, when I would
have the benefit of the long nights. Before that, however, I had

other things of more importance to think about. My servant lasses,
having no eye of a mistress over them, wastered every thing at such

a rate, and made such a galravitching in the house, that, long
before the end of the year, the year's stipend was all spent, and I

did not know what to do. At lang and length I mustered courage to
send for Mr Auld, who was then living, and an elder. He was a douce

and discreet man, fair and well-doing in the world, and had a better
handful of strong common sense than many even of the heritors. So I

told him how I was situated, and conferred with him; and he advised
me, for my own sake, to look out for another wife as soon as decency

would allow, which he thought might very properly be after the turn
of the year, by which time the first Mrs Balwhidder would be dead

more than twelve months; and when I mentioned my design to write a
book, he said, (and he was a man of good discretion), that the doing

of the book was a thing that would keep, but masterful servants were
a growing evil; so, upon his counselling, I resolved not to meddle

with the book till I was married again, but employ the interim,
between then and the turn of the year, in looking out for a prudent

woman to be my second wife, strictly intending, as I did perform,
not to mint a word about my choice, if I made one, till the whole

twelve months and a day, from the date of the first Mrs Balwhidder's
interment, had run out.

In this the hand of Providence was very visible, and lucky for me it
was that I had sent for Mr Auld when I did send, as the very week

following, a sound began to spread in the parish, that one of my
lassies had got herself with bairn, which was an awful thing to

think had happened in the house of her master, and that master a
minister of the gospel. Some there were, for backbiting

appertaineth to all conditions, that jealoused and wondered if I had
not a finger in the pie; which, when Mr Auld heard, he bestirred

himself in such a manful and godly way in my defence, as silenced
the clash, telling that I was utterly incapable of any such thing,

being a man of a guileless heart, and a spiritualsimplicity, that
would be ornamental in a child. We then had the latheron summoned

before the session, and was not long of making her confess that the
father was Nichol Snipe, Lord Glencairn's gamekeeper; and both her

and Nichol were obligated to stand in the kirk: but Nichol was a
graceless reprobate, for he came with two coats, one buttoned behind

him, and another buttoned before him, and two wigs of my lord's,
lent him by the valet-de-chamer; the one over his face, and the

other in the right way; and he stood with his face to the church-
wall. When I saw him from the poopit, I said to him--"Nichol, you

must turn your face towards me!" At the which, he turned round to
be sure, but there he presented the same show as his back. I was

confounded, and did not know what to say, but cried out with a voice
of anger--"Nichol, Nichol! if ye had been a' back, ye wouldna hae

been there this day;" which had such an effect on the whole
congregation, that the poor fellow suffered afterwards more

derision, than if I had rebuked him in the manner prescribed by the
session.

This affair, with the previous advice of Mr Auld, was, however, a
warning to me, that no pastor of his parish should be long without a

helpmate. Accordingly, as soon as the year was out, I set myself
earnestly about the search for one; but as the particulars fall

properly within the scope and chronicle of the next year, I must
reserve them for it; and I do not recollect that any thing more

particular befell in this, excepting that William Mutchkins, the
father of Mr Mutchkins, the great spirit-dealer in Glasgow, set up a

change-house in the clachan, which was the first in the parish, and
which, if I could have helped, would have been the last; for it was

opening a howf to all manner of wickedness, and was an immediate get
and offspring of the smuggling trade, against which I had so set my

countenance. But William Mutchkins himself was a respectable man,
and no house could be better ordered than his change. At a stated

hour he made family worship, for he brought up his children in the
fear of God and the Christian religion; and although the house was

full, he would go in to the customers, and ask them if they would
want anything for half an hour, for that he was going to make

exercise with his family; and many a wayfaring traveller has joined
in the prayer. There is no such thing, I fear, nowadays, of

publicans entertaining travellers in this manner.
CHAPTER VI YEAR 1765

As there was little in the last year that concerned the parish, but
only myself, so in this the like fortune continued; and saving a

rise in the price of barley, occasioned, as was thought, by the
establishment of a house for brewing whisky in a neighbouring

parish, it could not be said that my people were exposed to the
mutations and influences of the stars, which ruled in the seasons of

Ann. Dom. 1765. In the winter there was a dearth of fuel, such as
has not been since; for when the spring loosened the bonds of the

ice, three new coal-heughs were shanked in the Douray moor, and ever
since there has been a great plenty of that necessary article.

Truly, it is very wonderful to see how things come round. When the
talk was about the shanking of their heughs, and a paper to get folk

to take shares in them, was carried through the circumjacent
parishes, it was thought a gowk's errand; but no sooner was the coal

reached, but up sprung such a traffic, that it was a godsend to the
parish, and the opening of a trade and commerce, that has, to use an

old byword, brought gold in gowpins amang us. From that time my
stipend has been on the regular increase, and therefore I think that

the incoming of the heritors must have been in like manner
augmented.

Soon after this, the time was drawing near for my second marriage.
I had placed my affections, with due consideration, on Miss Lizy

Kibbock, the well brought-up daughter of Mr Joseph Kibbock of the
Gorbyholm, who was the first that made a speculation in the farming

way in Ayrshire, and whose cheese were of such an excellent quality,
that they have, under the name of Delap-cheese, spread far and wide

over the civilized world. Miss Lizy and me were married on the 29th
day of April, with some inconvenience to both sides, on account of

the dread that we had of being married in May; for it is said -
"Of the marriages in May,

The bairns die of a decay."
However, married we were, and we hired the Irville chaise, and with

Miss Jenny her sister, and Becky Cairns her niece, who sat on a
portmanty at our feet, we went on a pleasure jaunt to Glasgow, where

we bought a miracle of useful things for the manse, that neither the
first Mrs Balwhidder nor me ever thought of; but the second Mrs

Balwhidder that was, had a geni for management, and it was
extraordinary what she could go through. Well may I speak of her

with commendations; for she was the bee that made my honey, although
at first things did not go so clear with us. For she found the

manse rookit and herrit, and there was such a supply of plenishing
of all sort wanted, that I thought myself ruined and undone by her

care and industry. There was such a buying of wool to make
blankets, with a booming of the meikle wheel to spin the same, and

such birring of the little wheel for sheets and napery, that the
manse was for many a day like an organ kist. Then we had milk cows,

and the calves to bring up, and a kirning of butter, and a making of
cheese; in short, I was almost by myself with the jangle and din,

which prevented me from writing a book as I had proposed, and I for