eyes which have ceased to look reverently on worn-out symbols, learn
to select from among the grey-coated
multitude, and place in
reverence even higher him who "holds his
patent of
nobility straight
from Almighty God"? Upon that depends the future of England. In
days gone by, our very Snob bore
testimony after his fashion to our
scorn of meanness; he at all events imagined himself to be imitating
those who were
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incapable of a
sordid transaction, of a plebeian
compliance. But the Snob, one notes, is in the way of degeneracy;
he has new exemplars; he speaks a ruder language. Him, be sure, in
one form or another, we shall have always with us, and to observe
his habits is to note the tenor of the time. If he have at the back
of his dim mind no living ideal which lends his
foolishness a
generous
significance, then indeed--videant consules.
XXIII
A visit from N-. He stayed with me two days, and I wish he could
have stayed a third. (Beyond the third day, I am not sure that any
man would be
whollywelcome. My strength will bear but a certain
amount of conversation, even the pleasantest, and before long I
desire
solitude, which is rest.)
The mere sight of N-, to say nothing of his talk, did me good. If
appearances can ever be trusted, there are few men who get more
enjoyment out of life. His hardships were never
excessive; they did
not
affect his health or touch his spirits; probably he is in every
way a better man for having--as he says--"gone through the mill."
His
recollection of the time when he had to work hard for a five-
pound note, and was not always sure of getting it,
obviously lends
gusto to his present state of ease. I persuaded him to talk about
his successes, and to give me a
glimpse of their meaning in solid
cash. Last Midsummer day, his receipts for the twelvemonth were
more than two thousand pounds. Nothing wonderful, of course,
bearing in mind what some men are making by their pen; but very good
for a
writer who does not address the baser
throng. Two thousand
pounds in a year! I gazed at him with wonder and admiration.
I have known very few
prosperous men of letters; N- represents for
me the best and brightest side of
literary success. Say what one
will after a
lifetime of
disillusion, the author who earns largely
by honest and
capable work is among the few enviable mortals. Think
of N-'s
existence. No other man could do what he is doing, and he
does it with ease. Two, or at most three, hours' work a day--and
that by no means every day--suffices to him. Like all who write, he
has his unfruitful times, his
mental worries, his disappointments,
but these bear no
proportion to the hours of happy and effective
labour. Every time I see him he looks in better health, for of late
years he has taken much more exercise, and he is often travelling.
He is happy in his wife and children; the thought of all the
comforts and pleasures he is able to give them must be a constant
joy to him; were he to die, his family is safe from want. He has
friends and
acquaintances as many as he desires;
congenial folk
gather at his table; he is
welcome in pleasant houses near and far;
his praise is upon the lips of all whose praise is worth having.
With all this, he has the good sense to avoid
manifest dangers; he
has not
abandoned his
privacy, and he seems to be in no danger of
being spoilt by good fortune. His work is more to him than a means
of earning money; he talks about a book he has in hand almost as
freshly and
keenly as in the old days, when his
annualincome was
barely a couple of hundred. I note, too, that his
leisure is not
swamped with the publications of the day; he reads as many old books
as new, and keeps many of his early enthusiasms.
He is one of the men I
heartily like. That he greatly cares for me
I do not suppose, but this has nothing to do with the matter; enough
that he likes my society well enough to make a special journey down
into Devon. I represent to him, of course, the days gone by, and
for their sake he will always feel an interest in me. Being ten
years my
junior, he must naturally regard me as an old buffer; I
notice, indeed, that he is just a little too deferential at moments.
He feels a certain respect for some of my work, but thinks, I am
sure, that I ceased
writing none too soon--which is very true. If I
had not been such a lucky fellow--if at this moment I were still
toiling for bread--it is
probable that he and I would see each other
very seldom; for N- has
delicacy, and would
shrink from bringing his
high-spirited affluence face to face with Grub Street squalor and
gloom;
whilst I, on the other hand, should hate to think that he
kept up my
acquaintance from a sense of
decency. As it is we are
very good friends, quite unembarrassed, and--for a couple of days--
really enjoy the sight and
hearing of each other. That I am able to
give him a comfortable bedroom, and set before him an eatable
dinner, flatters my pride. If I chose at any time to accept his
hearty
invitation, I can do so without moral twinges.
Two thousand pounds! If, at N-'s age, I had achieved that
income,
what would have been the result upon me? Nothing but good, I know;
but what form would the good have taken? Should I have become a
social man, a giver of dinners, a member of clubs? Or should I
merely have begun, ten years sooner, the life I am living now? That
is more likely.
In my twenties I used to say to myself: what a splendid thing it
will be WHEN I am the possessor of a thousand pounds! Well, I have
never possessed that sum--never anything like it--and now never
shall. Yet it was not an
extravagantambition,
methinks, however
primitive.
As we sat in the garden dusk, the scent of our pipes mingling with
that of roses, N- said to me in a laughing tone: "Come now, tell me
how you felt when you first heard of your legacy?" And I could not
tell him; I had nothing to say; no vivid
recollection of the moment
would come back to me. I am afraid N- thought he had been
indiscreet, for he passed quickly to another subject. Thinking it
over now, I see, of course, that it would be impossible to put into
words the feeling of that
supreme moment of life. It was not joy
that possessed me; I did not exult; I did not lose control of myself
in any way. But I remember
drawing one or two deep sighs, as if all
at once relieved of some distressing burden or constraint. Only
some hours after did I begin to feel any kind of
agitation. That
night I did not close my eyes; the night after I slept longer and
more soundly than I remember to have done for a score of years.
Once or twice in the first week I had a
hysterical feeling; I scarce
kept myself from shedding tears. And the strange thing is that it
seems to have happened so long ago; I seem to have been a free man
for many a twelvemonth, instead of only for two. Indeed, that is
what I have often thought about forms of true happiness; the brief
are quite as satisfying as those that last long. I wanted, before
my death, to enjoy liberty from care, and
repose in a place I love.
That was granted me; and, had I known it only for one whole year,
the sum of my
enjoyment would have been no whit less than if I live
to
savour it for a decade.
XXIV
The honest fellow who comes to dig in my garden is puzzled to
account for my peculiarities; I often catch a look of wondering
speculation in his eye when it turns upon me. It is all because I
will not let him lay out flower-beds in the usual way, and make the
bit of ground in front of the house really neat and orna
mental. At
first he put it down to meanness, but he knows by now that that
cannot be the
explanation. That I really prefer a garden so poor
and plain that every cottager would be
ashamed of it, he cannot
bring himself to believe, and of course I have long since given up
trying to explain myself. The good man probably concludes that too
many books and the habit of
solitude have somewhat
affected what he
would call my "reasons."
The only garden flowers I care for are the quite old-fashioned
roses, sunflowers, hollyhocks, lilies and so on, and these I like to
see growing as much as possible as if they were wild. Trim and
symmetrical beds are my abhorrence, and most of the flowers which
are put into them--hybrids with some
grotesque name--Jonesia,
Snooksia--hurt my eyes. On the other hand, a garden is a garden,
and I would not try to introduce into it the flowers which are my
solace in lanes and fields. Foxgloves, for instance--it would pain