Dreams

by Olive Schreiner
To a small girl-child, who may live to grasp somewhat of that which for us

is yet sight, not touch.
Note.

These Dreams are printed in the order in which they were written.
In the case of two there was a lapse of some years between the writing of

the first and last parts; these are placed according to the date of the
first part.

Olive Schreiner.
Matjesfontein,

Cape Colony,
South Africa.

November, 1890.
CONTENTS.

I. The Lost Joy.
II. The Hunter (From "The Story of of an African Farm").

III. The Gardens of Pleasure.
IV. In a Far-off World.

V. Three Dreams in a Desert.
VI. A Dream of Wild Bees (Written as a letter to a friend).

VII. In a Ruined Chapel.
VIII. Life's Gifts.

IX. The Artist's Secret.
X. "I Thought I Stood."

XI. The Sunlight Lay across My Bed.
I. THE LOST JOY.

All day, where the sunlight played on the sea-shore, Life sat.
All day the soft wind played with her hair, and the young, young face

looked out across the water. She was waiting--she was waiting; but she
could not tell for what.

All day the waves ran up and up on the sand, and ran back again, and the
pink shells rolled. Life sat waiting; all day, with the sunlight in her

eyes, she sat there, till, grown weary, she laid her head upon her knee and
fell asleep, waiting still.

Then a keel grated on the sand, and then a step was on the shore--Life
awoke and heard it. A hand was laid upon her, and a great shudder passed

through her. She looked up, and saw over her the strange, wide eyes of
Love--and Life now knew for whom she had sat there waiting.

And Love drew Life up to him.
And of that meeting was born a thing rare and beautiful--Joy, First-Joy was

it called. The sunlight when it shines upon the merry water is not so
glad; the rosebuds, when they turn back their lips for the sun's first

kiss, are not so ruddy. Its tiny pulses beat quick. It was so warm, so
soft! It never spoke, but it laughed and played in the sunshine: and Love

and Life rejoiced exceedingly. Neither whispered it to the other, but deep
in its own heart each said, "It shall be ours for ever."

Then there came a time--was it after weeks? was it after months? (Love and
Life do not measure time)--when the thing was not as it had been.

Still it played; still it laughed; still it stained its mouth with purple
berries; but sometimes the little hands hung weary, and the little eyes

looked out heavily across the water.
And Life and Love dared not look into each other's eyes, dared not say,

"What ails our darling?" Each heart whispered to itself, "It is nothing,
it is nothing, tomorrow it will laugh out clear." But tomorrow and

tomorrow came. They journeyed on, and the child played beside them, but
heavily, more heavily.

One day Life and Love lay down to sleep; and when they awoke, it was gone:
only, near them, on the grass, sat a little stranger, with wide-open eyes,

very soft and sad. Neither noticed it; but they walked apart, weeping
bitterly, "Oh, our Joy! our lost Joy! shall we see you no more for ever?"

The little soft and sad-eyed stranger slipped a hand into one hand of each,
and drew them closer, and Life and Love walked on with it between them.

And when Life looked down in anguish, she saw her tears reflected in its
soft eyes. And when Love, mad with pain, cried out, "I am weary, I am

weary! I can journey no further. The light is all behind, the dark is all
before," a little rosy finger pointed where the sunlight lay upon the hill-

sides. Always its large eyes were sad and thoughtful: always the little
brave mouth was smiling quietly.

When on the sharp stones Life cut her feet, he wiped the blood upon his
garments, and kissed the wounded feet with his little lips. When in the

desert Love lay down faint (for Love itself grows faint), he ran over the
hot sand with his little naked feet, and even there in the desert found

water in the holes in the rocks to moisten Love's lips with. He was no
burden--he never weighted them; he only helped them forward on their

journey.
When they came to the dark ravine where the icicles hang from the rocks--

for Love and Life must pass through strange drear places--there, where all
is cold, and the snow lies thick, he took their freezing hands and held

them against his beating little heart, and warmed them--and softly he drew
them on and on.

And when they came beyond, into the land of sunshine and flowers, strangely
the great eyes lit up, and dimples broke out upon the face. Brightly

laughing, it ran over the soft grass; gathered honey from the hollow tree;
and brought it them on the palm of its hand; carried them water in the

leaves of the lily, and gathered flowers and wreathed them round their
heads, softly laughing all the while. He touched them as their Joy had

touched them, but his fingers clung more tenderly.
So they wandered on, through the dark lands and the light, always with that

little brave smiling one between them. Sometimes they remembered that
first radiant Joy, and whispered to themselves, "Oh! could we but find him

also!"
At last they came to where Reflection sits; that strange old woman who has

always one elbow on her knee, and her chin in her hand, and who steals
light out of the past to shed it on the future.

And Life and Love cried out, "O wise one! tell us: when first we met, a
lovely radiant thing belonged to us--gladness without a tear, sunshine

without a shade. Oh! how did we sin that we lost it? Where shall we go
that we may find it?"

And she, the wise old woman, answered, "To have it back, will you give up
that which walks beside you now?"

And in agony Love and Life cried, "No!"
"Give up this!" said Life. "When the thorns have pierced me, who will suck

the poison out? When my head throbs, who will lay his tiny hands upon it
and still the beating? In the cold and the dark, who will warm my freezing

heart?"
And Love cried out, "Better let me die! Without Joy I can live; without

this I cannot. Let me rather die, not lose it!"
And the wise old woman answered, "O fools and blind! What you once had is

that which you have now! When Love and Life first meet, a radiant thing is
born, without a shade. When the roads begin to roughen, when the shades

begin to darken, when the days are hard, and the nights cold and long--then
it begins to change. Love and Life WILL not see it, WILL not know it--till

one day they start up suddenly, crying, 'O God! O God! we have lost it!
Where is it?' They do not understand that they could not carry the

laughing thing unchanged into the desert, and the frost, and the snow.
They do not know that what walks beside them still is the Joy grown older.

The grave, sweet, tender thing--warm in the coldest snows, brave in the
dreariest deserts--its name is Sympathy; it is the Perfect Love."

South Africa.
II. THE HUNTER.

In certain valleys there was a hunter. Day by day he went to hunt for
wild-fowl in the woods; and it chanced that once he stood on the shores of

a large lake. While he stood waiting in the rushes for the coming of the
birds, a great shadow fell on him, and in the water he saw a reflection.

He looked up to the sky; but the thing was gone. Then a burning desire
came over him to see once again that reflection in the water, and all day

he watched and waited; but night came and it had not returned. Then he
went home with his empty bag, moody and silent. His comrades came

questioning about him to know the reason, but he answered them nothing; he
sat alone and brooded. Then his friend came to him, and to him he spoke.

"I have seen today," he said, "that which I never saw before--a vast white
bird, with silver wings outstretched, sailing in the everlasting blue. And

now it is as though a great fire burnt within my breast. It was but a
sheen, a shimmer, a reflection in the water; but now I desire nothing more

on earth than to hold her."
His friend laughed.

"It was but a beam playing on the water, or the shadow of your own head.
Tomorrow you will forget her," he said.

But tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow the hunter walked alone. He
sought in the forest and in the woods, by the lakes and among the rushes,

but he could not find her. He shot no more wild fowl; what were they to
him?

"What ails him?" said his comrades.
"He is mad," said one.

"No; but he is worse," said another; "he would see that which none of us
have seen, and make himself a wonder."

"Come, let us forswear his company," said all.
So the hunter walked alone.

One night, as he wandered in the shade, very heartsore and weeping, an old
man stood before him, grander and taller than the sons of men.

"Who are you?" asked the hunter.
"I am Wisdom," answered the old man; "but some men call me Knowledge. All

my life I have grown in these valleys; but no man sees me till he has
sorrowed much. The eyes must be washed with tears that are to behold me;

and, according as a man has suffered, I speak."
And the hunter cried:

"Oh, you who have lived here so long, tell me, what is that great wild bird
I have seen sailing in the blue? They would have me believe she is a

dream; the shadow of my own head."
The old man smiled.

"Her name is Truth. He who has once seen her never rests again. Till
death he desires her."

And the hunter cried:
"Oh, tell me where I may find her."

But the old man said:
"You have not suffered enough," and went.

Then the hunter took from his breast the shuttle of Imagination, and wound
on it the thread of his Wishes; and all night he sat and wove a net.

In the morning he spread the golden net upon the ground, and into it he
threw a few grains of credulity, which his father had left him, and which

he kept in his breast-pocket. They were like white puff-balls, and when
you trod on them a brown dust flew out. Then he sat by to see what would

happen. The first that came into the net was a snow-white bird, with
dove's eyes, and he sang a beautiful song--"A human-God! a human-God! a

human-God!" it sang. The second that came was black and mystical, with
dark, lovely eyes, that looked into the depths of your soul, and he sang

only this--"Immortality!"
And the hunter took them both in his arms, for he said--

"They are surely of the beautiful family of Truth."
Then came another, green and gold, who sang in a shrill voice, like one

crying in the marketplace,--"Reward after Death! Reward after Death!"
And he said--

"You are not so fair; but you are fair too," and he took it.
And others came, brightly coloured, singing pleasant songs, till all the

grains were finished. And the hunter gathered all his birds together, and
built a strong iron cage called a new creed, and put all his birds in it.

Then the people came about dancing and singing.
"Oh, happy hunter!" they cried. "Oh, wonderful man! Oh, delightful birds!

Oh, lovely songs!"
No one asked where the birds had come from, nor how they had been caught;

but they danced and sang before them. And the hunter too was glad, for he
said:

"Surely Truth is among them. In time she will moult her feathers, and I
shall see her snow-white form."

But the time passed, and the people sang and danced; but the hunter's heart
grew heavy. He crept alone, as of old, to weep; the terrible desire had

awakened again in his breast. One day, as he sat alone weeping, it chanced
that Wisdom met him. He told the old man what he had done.

And Wisdom smiled sadly.
"Many men," he said, "have spread that net for Truth; but they have never

• writing [´raitiŋ] n.书写；写作；书法 (初中英语单词)
• hunter [´hʌntə] n.猎人；猎狗；猎马 (初中英语单词)
• sunlight [´sʌnlait] n.日光 (初中英语单词)
• waiting [´weitiŋ] n.等候；伺候 (初中英语单词)
• sunshine [´sʌnʃain] n.日光，阳光 (初中英语单词)
• measure [´meʒə] n.量度；范围 vt.测量 (初中英语单词)
• pointed [´pɔintid] a.尖(锐)的；中肯的 (初中英语单词)
• softly [´sɔftli] ad.软化地；柔和地 (初中英语单词)
• reflection [ri´flekʃən] n.反射；映象；想法 (初中英语单词)
• poison [´pɔizən] n.毒物 v.毒害 a.有毒的 (初中英语单词)
• sympathy [´simpəθi] n.同情，怜悯 (初中英语单词)
• imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)
• reward [ri´wɔ:d] n.&v.报答；报酬；奖赏 (初中英语单词)
• delightful [di´laitful] a.讨人喜欢的 (初中英语单词)
• wisdom [´wizdəm] n.智慧，聪明，才智 (初中英语单词)
• shudder [´ʃʌdə] n.&vi.震颤；发抖 (高中英语单词)
• exceedingly [ik´si:diŋli] ad.非常地，极度地 (高中英语单词)
• anguish [´æŋgwiʃ] n.(极度的)痛苦；苦恼 (高中英语单词)
• thoughtful [´θɔ:tfəl] a.深思的；体贴的 (高中英语单词)
• moisten [´mɔisən] v.沾湿；变潮湿 (高中英语单词)
• radiant [´reidiənt] a.发光的 n.光源(体) (高中英语单词)
• darken [´dɑ:kən] v.变黑，转暗 (高中英语单词)
• everlasting [,evə´lɑ:stiŋ] a.永久的，无尽的 (高中英语单词)
• shrill [ʃril] a.(声音)尖锐的 (高中英语单词)
• brightly [´braitli] ad.明亮地；聪明地 (高中英语单词)
• far-off [´fɑ:rɔ:f] a.远方的，遥远的 (英语四级单词)
• ravine [rə´vi:n] n.沟壑；深谷 (英语四级单词)
• beating [´bi:tiŋ] n.敲；搅打；失败 (英语六级单词)
• unchanged [ʌn´tʃeindʒd] a.不变的；依然如故的 (英语六级单词)
• outstretched [,aut´stretʃt] a.扩张的；伸长的 (英语六级单词)
• shimmer [´ʃimə] v.&n.闪烁；微微发光 (英语六级单词)
• weeping [´wi:piŋ] a.&n.哭泣(的) (英语六级单词)
• credulity [kri´dju:liti] n.轻信 (英语六级单词)