returned in raptures with the World, its Inhabitants, and
Manners.
Yrs Ever--A. F.
LETTER the SECOND
From a YOUNG LADY crossed in Love to her freind
Why should this last
disappointment hang so heavily on my
spirits? Why should I feel it more, why should it wound me
deeper than those I have
experienced before? Can it be that I
have a greater
affection for Willoughby than I had for his
amiable predecessors? Or is it that our feelings become more
acute from being often wounded? I must suppose my dear Belle
that this is the Case, since I am not
conscious of being more
sincerely attached to Willoughby than I was to Neville, Fitzowen,
or either of the Crawfords, for all of whom I once felt the most
lasting
affection that ever warmed a Woman's heart. Tell me then
dear Belle why I still sigh when I think of the
faithless Edward,
or why I weep when I behold his Bride, for too surely this is the
case--. My Freinds are all alarmed for me; They fear my
declining health; they
lament my want of spirits; they dread the
effects of both. In hopes of releiving my
melancholy, by
directing my thoughts to other objects, they have invited several
of their freinds to spend the Christmas with us. Lady Bridget
Darkwood and her sister-in-law, Miss Jane are expected on Friday;
and Colonel Seaton's family will be with us next week. This is
all most kindly meant by my Uncle and Cousins; but what can the
presence of a dozen indefferent people do to me, but weary and
distress me--. I will not finish my Letter till some of our
Visitors are arrived.
Friday Evening
Lady Bridget came this morning, and with her, her sweet sister
Miss Jane--. Although I have been acquainted with this
charmingWoman above fifteen Years, yet I never before observed how lovely
she is. She is now about 35, and in spite of
sickness, sorrow
and Time is more
blooming than I ever saw a Girl of 17. I was
delighted with her, the moment she entered the house, and she
appeared
equally pleased with me, attaching herself to me during
the
remainder of the day. There is something so sweet, so mild in
her Countenance, that she seems more than Mortal. Her
Conversation is as bewitching as her appearance; I could not help
telling her how much she engaged my admiration--. "Oh! Miss
Jane (said I)--and stopped from an
inability at the moment of
expressing myself as I could wish-- Oh! Miss Jane--(I
repeated)
--I could not think of words to suit my feelings-- She seemed
waiting for my speech--. I was confused-- distressed--my
thoughts were bewildered--and I could only add--"How do you do?"
She saw and felt for my Embarrassment and with
admirable presence
of mind releived me from it by
saying--"My dear Sophia be not
uneasy at having exposed yourself--I will turn the Conversation
without appearing to notice it. "Oh! how I loved her for her
kindness!" Do you ride as much as you used to do?" said she--.
"I am advised to ride by my Physician. We have
delightful Rides
round us, I have a Charming horse, am uncommonly fond of the
Amusement, replied I quite recovered from my Confusion, and in
short I ride a great deal." "You are in the right my Love," said
she. Then repeating the following line which was an extempore
and
equally adapted to
recommend both Riding and Candour--
"Ride where you may, Be Candid where you can," she added," I rode
once, but it is many years ago--She spoke this in so low and
tremulous a Voice, that I was silent--. Struck with her Manner of
speaking I could make no reply. "I have not
ridden, continued she
fixing her Eyes on my face, since I was married." I was never so
surprised--"Married, Ma'am!" I
repeated. "You may well wear that
look of
astonishment, said she, since what I have said must
appear
improbable to you--Yet nothing is more true than that I
once was married."
"Then why are you called Miss Jane?"
"I married, my Sophia without the consent or knowledge of my
father the late Admiral Annesley. It was
therefore necessary to
keep the secret from him and from every one, till some fortunate
opportunity might offer of revealing it--. Such an opportunity
alas! was but too soon given in the death of my dear Capt.
Dashwood--Pardon these tears, continued Miss Jane wiping her
Eyes, I owe them to my Husband's memory. He fell my Sophia,
while fighting for his Country in America after a most happy
Union of seven years--. My Children, two sweet Boys and a Girl,
who had
constantly resided with my Father and me, passing with
him and with every one as the Children of a Brother (tho' I had
ever been an only Child) had as yet been the comforts of my Life.
But no sooner had I lossed my Henry, than these sweet Creatures
fell sick and died--. Conceive dear Sophia what my feelings must
have been when as an Aunt I attended my Children to their early
Grave--. My Father did not
survive them many weeks--He died,
poor Good old man, happily
ignorant to his last hour of my
Marriage.'
"But did not you own it, and assume his name at your husband's
death?"
"No; I could not bring myself to do it; more especially when in
my Children I lost all
inducement for doing it. Lady Bridget,
and yourself are the only persons who are in the knowledge of my
having ever been either Wife or Mother. As I could not Prevail on
myself to take the name of Dashwood (a name which after my
Henry's death I could never hear without emotion) and as I was
conscious of having no right to that of Annesley, I dropt all
thoughts of either, and have made it a point of
bearing only my
Christian one since my Father's death." She paused--"Oh! my dear
Miss Jane (said I) how
infinitely am I obliged to you for so
entertaining a story! You cannot think how it has diverted me!
But have you quite done?"
"I have only to add my dear Sophia, that my Henry's elder Brother
dieing about the same time, Lady Bridget became a Widow like
myself, and as we had always loved each other in idea from the
high Character in which we had ever been
spoken of, though we had
never met, we determined to live together. We wrote to one
another on the same subject by the same post, so exactly did our
feeling and our actions coincide! We both
eagerly embraced the
proposals we gave and received of becoming one family, and have
from that time lived together in the greatest
affection."
"And is this all? said I, I hope you have not done."
"Indeed I have; and did you ever hear a story more pathetic?"
"I never did--and it is for that reason it pleases me so much,
for when one is
unhappy nothing is so
delightful to one's
sensations as to hear of equal misery."
"Ah! but my Sophia why are YOU
unhappy?"
"Have you not heard Madam of Willoughby's Marriage?"
"But my love why
lament HIS perfidy, when you bore so well that
of many young Men before?"
"Ah! Madam, I was used to it then, but when Willoughby broke his
Engagements I had not been dissapointed for half a year."
"Poor Girl!" said Miss Jane.
LETTER the THIRD
From a YOUNG LADY in distressed Circumstances to her freind
A few days ago I was at a private Ball given by Mr Ashburnham.
As my Mother never goes out she entrusted me to the care of Lady
Greville who did me the honour of
calling for me in her way and
of allowing me to sit forwards, which is a favour about which I
am very
indifferent especially as I know it is considered as
confering a great
obligation on me "So Miss Maria (said her
Ladyship as she saw me advancing to the door of the Carriage) you
seem very smart to night-- MY poor Girls will appear quite to
disadvantage by YOU-- I only hope your Mother may not have
distressed herself to set YOU off. Have you got a new Gown on?"
"Yes Ma'am." replied I with as much
indifference as I could
assume.
"Aye, and a fine one too I think--(feeling it, as by her
permission I seated myself by her) I dare say it is all very
smart--But I must own, for you know I always speak my mind, that
I think it was quite a
needless piece of expence--Why could not
you have worn your old
striped one? It is not my way to find
fault with People because they are poor, for I always think that
they are more to be despised and pitied than blamed for it,
especially if they cannot help it, but at the same time I must
say that in my opinion your old
striped Gown would have been
quite fine enough for its Wearer--for to tell you the truth (I
always speak my mind) I am very much afraid that one half of the
people in the room will not know whether you have a Gown on or
not--But I suppose you intend to make your fortune to night--.
Well, the sooner the better; and I wish you success."
"Indeed Ma'am I have no such intention--"
"Who ever heard a young Lady own that she was a Fortune-hunter?"
Miss Greville laughed but I am sure Ellen felt for me.
"Was your Mother gone to bed before you left her?" said her
Ladyship.
"Dear Ma'am, said Ellen it is but nine o'clock."
"True Ellen, but Candles cost money, and Mrs Williams is too wise
to be extravagant."
"She was just sitting down to supper Ma'am."
"And what had she got for supper?" "I did not observe." "Bread
and Cheese I suppose." "I should never wish for a better
supper." said Ellen. "You have never any reason replied her
Mother, as a better is always provided for you." Miss Greville
laughed excessively, as she
constantly does at her Mother's wit.
Such is the humiliating Situation in which I am forced to appear
while riding in her Ladyship's Coach--I dare not be impertinent,
as my Mother is always admonishing me to be
humble and patient if
I wish to make my way in the world. She insists on my accepting
every
invitation of Lady Greville, or you may be certain that I
would never enter either her House, or her Coach with the
disagreable
certainty I always have of being abused for my
Poverty while I am in them.--When we arrived at Ashburnham, it
was nearly ten o'clock, which was an hour and a half later than
we were desired to be there; but Lady Greville is too fashionable
(or fancies herself to be so) to be
punctual. The Dancing
however was not begun as they waited for Miss Greville. I had
not been long in the room before I was engaged to dance by Mr
Bernard, but just as we were going to stand up, he recollected
that his Servant had got his white Gloves, and immediately ran
out to fetch them. In the mean time the Dancing began and Lady
Greville in passing to another room went exactly before me--She
saw me and
instantly stopping, said to me though there were
several people close to us,
"Hey day, Miss Maria! What cannot you get a
partner? Poor Young
Lady! I am afraid your new Gown was put on for nothing. But do
not
despair; perhaps you may get a hop before the Evening is
over." So
saying, she passed on without
hearing my
repeatedassurance of being engaged, and leaving me very much provoked at
being so exposed before every one--Mr Bernard however soon
returned and by coming to me the moment he entered the room, and
leading me to the Dancers my Character I hope was cleared from
the imputation Lady Greville had thrown on it, in the eyes of all
the old Ladies who had heard her speech. I soon forgot all my
vexations in the pleasure of dancing and of having the most
agreable
partner in the room. As he is
moreover heir to a very
large Estate I could see that Lady Greville did not look very
well pleased when she found who had been his Choice--She was
determined to
mortify me, and
accordingly when we were sitting
down between the dances, she came to me with more than her usual
insulting importance attended by Miss Mason and said loud enough
to be heard by half the people in the room, "Pray Miss Maria in
what way of business was your Grandfather? for Miss Mason and I
cannot agree whether he was a Grocer or a Bookbinder." I saw that
she wanted to
mortify me, and was
resolved if I possibly could to