things behind the stage,
crowded the passages, dressing rooms, and wings, and
forced everybody into everybody else's way. This was particularly distasteful
to the
professionals, who carried themselves as befitted those of a higher
caste, and whose
behavior toward the pariah
amateurs was marked by hauteur and
even brutality. And Edna, bullied and elbowed and shoved about, clinging
desperately to her basket and seeking a dressing room, took note of it all.
A dressing room she finally found, jammed with three other
amateur "ladies,"
who were "making up" with much noise, high-pitched voices, and squabbling over
a lone mirror. Her own
make-up was so simple that it was quickly accomplished,
and she left the trio of ladies
holding an armed truce while they passed
judgment upon her. Letty was close at her shoulder, and with
patience and
persistence they managed to get a nook in one of the wings which commanded a
view of the stage.
A small, dark man, dapper and debonair, swallow-tailed and top-hatted, was
waltzing about the stage with
dainty, mincing steps, and in a thin little
voice singing something or other about somebody or something evidently
pathetic. As his waning voice neared the end of the lines, a large woman,
crowned with an
amazingwealth of blond hair,
thrustrudely past Edna, trod
heavily on her toes, and shoved her
contemptuously to the side. "Bloomin'
h
amateur!" she hissed as she went past, and the next
instant she was on the
stage,
graciously bowing to the
audience, while the small, dark man twirled
extravagantly about on his tiptoes.
"Hello, girls!"
This greeting, drawled with an inimitable vocal
caress in every syllable,
close in her ear, caused Edna to give a startled little jump. A smooth-faced,
moon-faced young man was smiling at her good-naturedly. His "
make-up" was
plainly that of the stock tramp of the stage, though the
inevitable whiskers
were lacking.
"Oh, it don't take a minute to slap'm on," he explained, divining the search
in her eyes and waving in his hand the adornment in question. "They make a
feller sweat," he explained further. And then, "What's yer turn?"
"Soprano--senti
mental," she answered,
trying to be offhand and at ease.
"Whata you doin' it for?" he demanded directly.
"For fun; what else?" she countered.
"I just sized you up for that as soon as I put eyes on you. You ain't graftin'
for a paper, are you?"
"I never met but one editor in my life," she replied evasively, "and I,
he--well, we didn't get on very well together."
"Hittin' 'm for a job?"
Edna nodded
carelessly, though
inwardlyanxious and cudgelling her brains for
something to turn the conversation.
"What'd he say?"
"That eighteen other girls had already been there that week."
"Gave you the icy mit, eh?" The moon-faced young man laughed and slapped his
thighs. "You see, we're kind of
suspicious. The Sunday papers 'd like to get
Amateur Night done up brown in a nice little
package, and the
manager don't
see it that way. Gets wild-eyed at the thought of it."
"And what's your turn?" she asked.
"Who? me? Oh, I'm doin' the tramp act tonight. I'm Charley Welsh, you know."
She felt that by the mention of his name he intended to
convey to her complete
enlightenment, but the best she could do was to say
politely, "Oh, is that
so?"
She wanted to laugh at the hurt
disappointment which came into his face, but
concealed her amusement.
"Come, now," he said brusquely, "you can't stand there and tell me you've
never heard of Charley Welsh? Well, you must be young. Why, I'm an Only, the
Only
amateur at that. Sure, you must have seen me. I'm everywhere. I could be
a
professional, but I get more dough out of it by doin' the
amateur."
"But what's an 'Only'?" she queried. "I want to learn."
"Sure," Charley Welsh said gallantly. "I'll put you wise. An 'Only' is a
nonpareil, the feller that does one kind of a turn better'n any other feller.
He's the Only, see?"
And Edna saw.
"To get a line on the biz," he continued, "throw yer lamps on me. I'm the Only
all-round
amateur. To-night I make a bluff at the tramp act. It's harder to
bluff it than to really do it, but then it's
acting, it's
amateur, it's art.
See? I do everything, from Sheeny monologue to team song and dance and Dutch
comedian. Sure, I'm Charley Welsh, the Only Charley Welsh."
And in this fashion, while the thin, dark man and the large, blond woman
warbled dulcetly out on the stage and the other
professionals followed in
their turns, did Charley Welsh put Edna wise, giving her much miscellaneous
and
superfluous information and much that she stored away for the SUNDAY
INTELLIGENCER.
"Well, tra la loo," he said suddenly. "There's his
highness chasin' you up.
Yer first on the bill. Never mind the row when you go on. Just finish yer turn
like a lady."
It was at that moment that Edna felt her journalistic
ambition departing from
her, and was aware of an overmastering desire to be somewhere else. But the
stage
manager, like an ogre, barred her
retreat. She could hear the opening
bars of her song going up from the
orchestra and the noises of the house dying
away to the silence of anticipation.
"Go ahead," Letty whispered, pressing her hand; and from the other side came
the peremptory "Don't flunk!" of Charley Welsh.
But her feet seemed rooted to the floor, and she leaned weakly against a shift
scene. The
orchestra was
beginning over again, and a lone voice from the house
piped with
startling distinctness:
"Puzzle picture! Find Nannie!"
A roar of
laughter greeted the sally, and Edna
shrank back. But the strong
hand of the
manager descended on her shoulder, and with a quick, powerful
shove propelled her out on to the stage. His hand and arm had flashed into
full view, and the
audience, grasping the situation, thundered its
appreciation. The
orchestra was drowned out by the terrible din, and Edna
could see the bows scraping away across the violins,
apparently without sound.
It was impossible for her to begin in time, and as she
patiently waited, arms
akimbo and ears straining for the music, the house let loose again (a favorite
trick, she afterward
learned, of confusing the
amateur by preventing him or
her from
hearing the
orchestra).
But Edna was recovering her presence of mind. She became aware, pit to dome,
of a vast sea of smiling and fun-distorted faces, of vast roars of
laughter,
rising wave on wave, and then her Scotch blood went cold and angry. The
hard-working but silent
orchestra gave her the cue, and, without making a
sound, she began to move her lips, stretch forth her arms, and sway her body,
as though she were really singing. The noise in the house redoubled in the
attempt to drown her voice, but she serenely went on with her pantomime. This
seemed to continue an
interminable time, when the
audience, tiring of its
prank and in order to hear, suddenly stilled its clamor, and discovered the
dumb show she had been making. For a moment all was silent, save for the
orchestra, her lips moving on without a sound, and then the
audience realized
that it had been sold, and broke out afresh, this time with
genuine applause
in
acknowledgment of her
victory. She chose this as the happy moment for her
exit, and with a bow and a
backwardretreat, she was off the stage in Letty's
arms.
The worst was past, and for the rest of the evening she moved about among the
amateurs and
professionals, talking, listening, observing,
finding out what it
meant and
takingmental notes of it all. Charley Welsh constituted himself her
preceptor and
guardian angel, and so well did he perform the self-allotted
task that when it was all over she felt fully prepared to write her article.
But the
proposition had been to do two turns, and her native pluck forced her
to live up to it. Also, in the course of the intervening days, she discovered
fleeting impressions that required verification; so, on Saturday, she was back
again, with her
telescope basket and Letty.
The
manager seemed looking for her, and she caught an expression of
relief in
his eyes when he first saw her. He
hurried up, greeted her, and bowed with a
respect ludicrously at variance with his
previous ogre-like
behavior. And as
he bowed, across his shoulders she saw Charley Welsh
deliberately wink.
But the surprise had just begun. The
manager begged to be introduced to her
sister, chatted entertainingly with the pair of them, and
strove greatly and
anxiously to be
agreeable. He even went so far as to give Edna a dressing room
to herself, to the
unspeakable envy of the three other
amateur ladies of