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推荐理由：To ask or not to ask-this is a question.

Who Asks First-The Guy Or The Gal?

男孩女孩，谁先约谁？

"问"是一门艺术，做学问须敢问、勤问和问到底。那么，面对着自己喜欢的异性朋友时，你也会主动邀请他（她）约会吗？这个暑假你准备好约他（她）出去玩了吗？Come and join our discussion.

July Topic

Host: In our society it's usually the guy who asks the woman out. (Yeah.) Have we seen a change in that?

Ian Kerner (IK): Oh, yeah, definitely! I mean, I think, especially with the 1)proliferation of online dating, there are so many singles out there. And, you know, today women when they are online, they can wink at a guy; they can put a guy in a hot list. I mean, you know, it's post-Sex and the City. It's the age of third-wave 2)feminism, but I think many guys welcome women asking them out.

Host: Because I...I don't think women know or realize it: we feel pressure, too.

IK: Oh, totally!

Regena Thomashauner (RT): I think it's so frightening to be with a guy, because you're expected to ask her out, take the rejection, pay for her date, and then of course be 3)psychic and read her mind and to deliver her everything that she wants. And I think if we take a little 4)guesswork out of it and we say, "Hey, you are so cute, would you go out with me?" Oh, it'd be fantastic!

Host: But what about the...what about the flip side which is not so nice-the rejection part of that? What if the guy says no?

IK: Well, listen, I don't think it's always about coming out and saying, "Will you go out with me?" I think it's about being willing to start an interesting conversation with a guy, whether it's at a bookstore, online, at a movie theater, at a café. And if you start an interesting conversation, the rejection isn't as significant. I think that's also about not personalizing and making it about you as much about as the situation.

Host: Do some research. Know his interests.

RT: Absolutely! Because if you go up to a guy-even if you are at a sports bar-and you say, "Hey, I have no interest in sports but you're cute." You know, that 's a start. It is a beginning. You don't want to be aggressive. You want to be attractive; you want him to be drawn to you because of the 5)fabulous gorgeous woman that you are.

Host: You say, "Don't go on...on a group date, go on a one-on-one date."

RT: Oh, yeah, because you want to get to know the guy. You don't want to be stuck at...in a movie for two hours. And please, above all things, do not invite him to a wedding. It's so...so 6)inappropriate (Yeah, that's...that's terrible!) for a first date.

IK: But I...I think it's also again just being willing to start an interesting conversation with a guy somewhere and putting yourself out there.

RT: Even a not interesting conversation would work, don't they?

IK: No. I think you should always be as compelling, as interesting, as fascinating, as possible.

Host: We've got a few don'ts.

RT: I think women are fascinating, period.

Host: We've got some don'ts here-don't be nervous; don't be 7)vague; don't be aggressive, (Yeah.) which seems almost an 8)oxymoron because you...you're kinda being a little aggressive asking him out.

RT: I think you're being attractive and 9)seductive. Because aggressive is frightening; that's what hockey players do, and football players, that's not what a woman does.

Host: And the last one, don't get frustrated, what do you mean by that?

RT: Well I think that if you go for it, and he doesn't get the hint, just go for it again; especially if he's cute and adorable. Don't be 10)fazed if he doesn't 11)catch on at first.

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