If you suffer from low confidence and feel insecure about your own abilities, you may find it difficult to make even the simplest of decisions. Even the horrid choice of choosing where to go for dinner sends you into a frenzy. Insecurity occurs for several reasons. Perhaps at a young age your parents striped your ability to make any choices by choosing everything you ate, everything you wore, etc.

Now that you are grown and in the workforce, you find yourself suddenly having to make a lot more decisions. With little or no previous experience, it is no wonder that you start to fumble. Anxiety and worry are your constant companions during the decision making process. While trying to decide on your options, you spend hours playing out the possible scenarios of failure. You are nervous about what others may say and think, swearing that you can already hear the sounds of snickering in your head.

Needless to say, the feeling of not being able to make a decision sucks! And it all stems from not having enough self confidence. Here are some consequences of having low self confidence in decision making:

* Paralysis In Taking Needed Actions: In some cases, fear can overwhelm and even paralyze you to inaction. Hence, you prefer to remain as you are to avoid making the wrong decisions. Yet in so doing, you feel lousy. Stuck and defeated you are trapped in no-decision land!

* No Trust In Decisions Made: Even if you finally do make a choice, it is very possible that because of your low self-confidence, you have no trust that your decision was the best for the circumstance. Once again, you break out in sweat, worrying excessively.

* Refusal to Take Charge: When it comes to the bigger decisions that you need to make, you may well prefer to abdicate the responsibility to someone else. You feel more assured because in your opinion, someone else can make a better assessment of the situation. Your reasoning: if you are less intelligent, less outgoing and less capable, shouldn't you let the better man decide for you? Better yet, let your parents continue to decide for you even if it comes to making a choice in your career path!?! When things do not then proceed well, or you are not loving the life that has been planned and decided for you, it would be all too easy to put the blame on them and others.

* Shrinking Life Options: With low confidence in your abilities, it is inevitable that you find your options in life shrinking dramatically. You not only create limitations in what you can currently do, but are also more liable to miss out on numerous opportunities that may otherwise have been available to you.

In your current job, you think that this is as far as you can go. Others may find you capable but you choose to impose limits to your own growth and potential. Additionally, with no belief in your capabilities and resourcefulness, you find it hard to take up new challenges or to explore new frontiers.

So let's discuss how you can begin to overcome your inadequacies. Changing your attitude from a negative to a positive one will be most helpful. Only when you can break free, can a whole new world open up to you. You fall in love with life because you are no longer tied down by your insecurities, fears and negative beliefs.

Here are 6 ways to help you overcome your low self confidence in decision making:

1. Affirm Your Abilities Frequently: Try to recall instances that you have done well. The fact that you have ever done well is proof that you are capable of producing the same in the future.

Also determine what you are good at, and do more of these activities. It is important that you spend time nurturing and encouraging yourself. Give yourself a pat in the back, for even the littlest decisions that you make. When you do this frequently enough, you can gear yourself up to making bigger decisions in time.

2. Remove Limiting Beliefs and Fears: Ask yourself if it is really true that you are no good or have little abilities? If you do have limiting thoughts, recognize that you do have a choice in your thoughts and thoughts can be changed.

If your limiting beliefs came about because you have never been allowed to make decisions as a child, then it is time to take charge. Your parents may have wanted to shelter you from making the wrong choices when you were young but you need to learn to be responsible for your own life from now!

3. Take Action. Your very first instincts may have been to hold back or to procrastinate over making a decision. Your mind becomes frozen, as it gets caught up in a web of convoluted negative thoughts. In some situations, putting things in motion can get you started on the path towards making the right decisions. You can take action by finding out what it is you need to know, to make a better decision. When you take action, choices, that once look cloudy, can become clearer in what is involved!

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful." - Mark Victor Hansen

4. Upgrade Yourself: Without a doubt, if you find yourself lacking in knowledge and skills to make the right decisions, consider upgrading yourself. Education does not end when formal school ends; it is a lifelong process. So pick up what you need to learn in order to make better decisions in your field.

5. Support Your Decisions With Values and Visions: Depending on what it is you need to decide on, fall back on your values, desires and any supporting reasons. Hence it is important that you clarify what these important aspects about your life are first. They help to provide the much needed guidance needed to steer through the many life decisions thrown onto your path. If you have not sorted them out yet this far, it is no wonder you have been experiencing difficulties in making decisions.

6. Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously: So what if you make a mistake? Ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen even if I fail? If the consequence appears trivial, then why not just take up the challenge of making the decision?

Making mistakes is really part of learning. You cannot truly learn and grow without having gone through failures and mistakes. What is important is that you pick yourself up after that and ask yourself what you have learned in the process. Instead of blaming or berating yourself, choose to learn from these situations, so that you can make better decisions next time.

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery." - James Joyce (Irish novelist, 1882-1941)

Practice Makes Perfect. Start small if you have to. Building self confidence is not an overnight thing especially if you have been having age old habits of disbeliefs in your own capabilities. Decide what it is that you want and the values that you hold dear. Be guided by them.

Work on removing your fears. As you keep at building your self confidence, you will begin to build more and more trust in yourself. From negativity and doubt, you will begin to experience a new sense of empowerment. You are now building a life that you can lay claim to. Making bigger and bigger decisions for yourself just becomes easier!

"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement." - Golda Meir (Israeli Founder and Prime Minister. 1898-1978)

- Evelyn

如果你由于缺乏自信而感到痛苦并对自己的能力缺乏信心，那么你可能觉得即便是做一些最简单的决定也是十分困难的，甚至连选择去哪里就餐也会使你变得疯狂。这种缺乏自信源于几种原因。也许在你年幼的时候你的父母剥夺了你选择的权利，例如，你有权选择你爱吃的东西，你爱穿的衣服等等.

既然你已长大并能够自立更生了，你发现突然你自己必须要做大量的决定。由于你没有或者几乎没有相关的经验，难怪你开始做时就会笨手笨脚的。当在你做决定的过程中，焦虑和担心常伴你左右。当你试着去在你的选择中去做决定的时候，你花费了大量的时间才得出可能失败的预测。你十分担心他人的想法，还发誓道在你脑中你总能听到他人的窃笑。

不必说这种未能做决定的感觉真令人恶心！这全都是因为没有足够的自信。下面列出在做决定中缺乏自信所产生的一些后果：

必要的行动不能正常进行。在一些情况下，你将被害怕压倒，甚至使你无法采取行动,一切处于瘫痪状态。因此，为了去避免作出错误的决定你习惯于维持现状。虽然你这样做了，但是你却感觉到糟糕透了。你陷入了无法做决策的境地并被其彻底击败了！

对你所做的决策持怀疑态度。即使你最终作出了一个决定，但十分有可能因为你缺乏自信，你不相信你做出对现有情况最有利的决定。你愉快的心情再一次油然而生，可更多的是担忧。

拒绝掌管权。当你面临要作出一个巨大的决策时，你可能更倾向于把这项职责转交给其他人。你感到更放心，因为在你看来其他人能对这个情况作出更好的估计。而你的理由是：如果你不够聪明，不够外向，不够有能力，那么你为什么不让更优秀的人为你做决定呢？难道继续让你的父母继续为你在你的职业生涯中做决定，这就会更好吗？！当事情不能进展顺利时，那么你将不再热爱你为你所规划的生活，你很容易把它的结果怪到他人的头上。

减少你生活的选择。当你对你的能力缺乏自信时，你突然发现在生活中的选择减少了，这是不可避免的。你不仅对你目前能做的事情设下限制，而且可能错过了大量其他你可能获得的机会。

你可能认为现在的工作就是你能力之所及。其他人可能发现你很有能力可是你却选择将自己的成长和潜能埋没。除此之外，由于你不相信你很有能力而且足智多谋，你就发现迎接新的挑战或者探索新的领域是多么困难。

那么让我们来一起探讨以下你将如何开始去克服你的弱点，它将使你的态度由消极转变为积极，这对你是非常有帮助。只有当你打破常规，那么一个全新的世界将向你敞开。你将爱上生活，因为你不再被你的不安，害怕，消极的信念所牵制。

下面列出六种方法帮助在做决策时克服缺乏自信的弱点：

常常肯定你的能力.尝试着去回忆你干得不错的事情，那些事例是对你在未来有能力做得一样好的证明。

你应总是决定你擅长的事情，并多参与这些活动。花费更多的时间支持和鼓励你自己，这是很重要的。即便做出一些微不足道的决定也要学会表扬自己。当你经常这样做时，你已及时为做出大的决策做好了准备。

消除约束自己的信念和恐惧。问问你自己，你是否真的确信自己不够好或没有能力呢？如果你有约束自己能力的想法，你应该明白你的确应在你的想法中做一个选择,而且思维是可以改变的。

如果你的信念受限，是因为在你是个孩子的时候你没有自己做出决定的权利，那么现在是该掌握你自己的时候了。当你还是小孩时，你的父母以免你作出错误的决定可能想保护你，但是现在你需要学会对你自己的生活负责。

行动起来吧！当做决定时你第一反应所得的决策可能被限制了或者被拖延。你变得心灰意冷，因为它让你陷入错综复杂的消极的思维网络中，难以自拔。在一些情况下，一些事情的开展能够使你通向作出正确决定之路。通过找出什么是你所需要知道的，你才能采取行动去作出更好的决定。当你采取行动时你会发现曾经模糊不清的选择一下变得清晰起来。

"不要等到万事具备之时做决策。它不可能是完美了。因为总是有挑战，障碍存在使之未能完美。那么从现在开始吧。你所进行的每一步将使你越来越强大，越来越熟练，越来越自信，越来越有成就感。"--马克.维托.汉森

提升你自己。去掉疑虑，如果你发现自己缺乏做出正确决定的知识和技能，那么考虑提升你自己。即使正规的学校生活结束学习也是无止尽的：它是毕生的事业。所以在你的领域中学习你必学的知识促使你做出更好的决定。

支持你的决定。相信你的判断和眼光。依靠你所要做的决定，依靠你的判断，欲望和次要的原因。因此你应明确在你首要的生活中什么是重要的方面，这一点十分重要的。它能帮助你在你人生路途中你在驾驭你生活方面的许多决策时提供许多必要的指导。如果你目前没有将他们整理出来，那么你在做决定时经历困难就不足为奇了。

不要对自己太过认真。如果你犯了错那又怎样？问问自己：假使我失败了那最坏的情况是什么？如果它的后果是无足轻重的，那么为何不为做这个决定冒一次险呢？

犯错是学习的一部分。你在经历失败和错误中才能真正的学习和成长了。更重要的是在此之后你学会了掌管你自己，然后问你自己在这个过程中你学会了什么。为了在下一次你能作出更好的决定,代替批评和责骂自己，选择从中学习。

"一个人的错误打开他对自身的发现之门。"詹姆斯.乔伊斯（爱尔兰小说家，1882-1941）

实践使之完美.如果你必须去做一些事,那么从小事着手.因为建立自信不是一朝一夕之事,尤其当你长年养成了对自己能力不信任的习惯.决定你想要的和你认为什么是最有价值的.通过他们引导你做决定.

致力于消除你的恐惧.当你坚持建立你的信心时,你将会对自己产生越来越多的信任.在面对消极和怀疑时,你将体验一种新的授权意识.现在你有权利去重建你的一生,为你自己作出巨大的决定,也变得很容易!

"相信你自己.你创造的自己能够使你一生与快乐相伴.并煽动可能存在于内在微弱的小火花迸发成成就的火焰来充分发挥你自己."--戈尔迪·梅厄森(以色列国的创立者和总理,1898-1978)