To forgive may be devine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible--- and it can be surprisingly benefical to your physicla and mental health.

"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., So it can help save on the wear and tear on your organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."

So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:

Calm yourself. To defuse youranger, try a simple stress-management technique. "take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.

Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who cause you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.

Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear---even love. To gian perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.

Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more evergy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.

Don't forget to forgive yourself." For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says."But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."
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