Midnight came and passed silently, for there was nothing to announce it in the Valley of the Froom.
Not long after one o'clock there was a slight creak in the darkened
farmhouse once the
mansion of the d'Urbervilles. Tess, who used the upper
chamber, heard it and awoke. It had come from the corner step of the
staircase, which, as usual, was
loosely nailed. She saw the door of her bedroom open, and the figure of her husband crossed the stream of moonlight with a curiously careful tread. He was in his shirt and trousers only, and her first flush of `joy died when she perceived that his eyes were fixed in an
unnatural stare on
vacancy. When he reached the middle of the room he stood still and murmured, in tones of
indescribablesadness--
`Dead! dead! dead!'
Under the influence of any strongly-disturbing force Clare would occasionally walk in his sleep, and even perform strange feats, such as he had done on the night of their return from market just before their marriage, when he re-enacted in his bedroom his
combat with the man who had insulted her. Tess saw that continued mental distress had wrought him into that somnambulistic state now.
Her loyal confidence in him lay so deep down in her heart that, awake or asleep, he inspired her with no sort of personal fear. If he had entered with a pistol in his hand he would scarcely have disturbed her trust in his protectiveness.
Clare came close, and bent over her. `Dead, dead, dead!' he murmured.
After fixedly
regarding her for some moments with the same gaze of unmeasurable woe he bent lower, enclosed her in his arms, and rolled her in the sheet as in a
shroud. Then lifting her from the bed with as much respect as one would show to a dead body, he carried her across the room, murmuring--
`My poor, poor Tess - my dearest, darling Tess! So sweet, so good, so true!'
The words of endearment,
withheld so
severely in his waking hours, were inexpressibly sweet to her
forlorn and hungry heart. If it had been to save her weary life she would not, by moving or struggling, have put an end to the position she found herself in. Thus she lay in absolute
stillness, scarcely venturing to breathe, and, wondering what he was going to do with her, suffered herself to be borne out upon the
landing.
`My wife - dead, dead!' he said.
He paused in his labours for a moment to lean with her against the banister. Was he going to throw her down? Self-solicitude was near extinction in her, and in the knowledge that he had planned to depart on the
morrow, possibly for always, she lay in his arms in this
precarious position with a sense rather of luxury than of terror. If they could only fall together, and both be dashed to pieces, how fit, how desirable.
However, he did not let her fall, but took advantage of the support of the handrail to imprint a kiss upon her lips - lips in the
daytime scorned. Then he clasped her with a renewed
firmness of hold, and descended the
staircase. The creak of the loose stair did not awaken him, and they reached the ground-floor safely. Freeing one of his hands from his grasp of her for a moment, he slid back the door-bar and passed out, slightly striking his stockinged toe against the edge of the door. But this he seemed not to mind, and, having room for
extension in the open air, he lifted her against his shoulder, so that he could carry her with ease, the absence of clothes
taking much from his burden. Thus he bore her off the premises in the direction of the river a few yards distant.
His
ultimate intention, if he had any, she had not yet divined; and she found herself conjecturing on the matter as a third person might have done. So easefully had she delivered her whole being up to him that it pleased her to think he was
regarding her as his absolute possession, to dispose of as he should choose. It was consoling, under the hovering terror of to-
morrow's
separation, to feel that he really recognized her now as his wife Tess, and did not cast her off, even if in that recognition he went so far as to
arrogate to himself the right of harming her.
Ah! now she knew what he was dreaming of - that Sunday morning when he had borne her along through the water with the other dairymaids, who had loved him nearly as much as she, if that were possible, which Tess could hardly admit. Clare did not cross the
bridge with her, but
proceeding several paces on the same side towards the adjoining mill, at length stood still on the brink of the river.
Its waters, in creeping down these miles of meadow-land, frequently divided, serpentining in purposeless curves, looping themselves around little islands that had no name, returning and re-embodying themselves as a broad main stream further on. Opposite the spot to which he had brought her was such a general confluence, and the river was proportionately voluminous and deep. Across it was a narrow foot-
bridge; but now the autumn flood had washed the handrail away, leaving the bare plank only, which, lying a few inches above the speeding current, formed a giddy
pathway for even steady heads; and Tess had noticed from the window of the house in the
daytime young men walking across upon it as a feat in balancing. Her husband had possibly observed the same performance; anyhow, he now mounted the plank, and, sliding one foot forward, advanced along it.
Was he going to drown her? Probably he was. The spot was lonely, the river deep and wide enough to make such a purpose easy of
accomplishment. He might drown her if he would; It would be better than
parting to-
morrow to lead severed lives.
The swift stream raced and gyrated under them, tossing, distorting, and splitting the moon's reflected face. Spots of froth travelled past, and intercepted weeds waved behind the piles. If they could both fall together into the current now, their arms would be so
tightly clasped together that they could not be saved; they would go out of the world almost painlessly, and there would be no more
reproach to her, or to him for marrying her. His last
half-hour with her would have been a
loving one, while if they lived till he awoke his
daytime aversion would return, and this hour would remain to be contemplated only as a
transient dream.
The impulse stirred in her, yet she dared not
indulge it, to make a movement that would have
precipitated them both into the gulf. How she valued her own life had been proved; but his - she had no right to tamper with it. He reached the other side with her in safety.
Here they were within a
plantation which formed the Abbey grounds, and
taking a new hold of her he went
onward a few steps till they reached the ruined choir of the Abbey-church. Against the north wall was the empty stone
coffin of an abbot, in which every
tourist with a turn for grim humour was accustomed to stretch himself. In this Clare carefully laid Tess. Having kissed her lips a second time he breathed deeply, as if a greatly desired end were attained. Clare then lay down on the ground
alongside, when he immediately fell into the deep dead slumber of
exhaustion, and remained
motionless as a log. The spurt of mental excitement which had produced the effort was now over.
Tess sat up in the
coffin. The night, though dry and mild for the season, was more than sufficiently cold to make it dangerous for him to remain here long, in his half-clothed state. If he were left to himself he would in all
probability stay there till the morning, and be chilled to certain death. She had heard of such deaths after sleep-walking. But how could she dare to awaken him, and let him know what he had been doing, when it would
mortify him to discover his folly in respect of her? Tess, however, stepping out of her stone confine, shook him slightly, but was unable to arouse him without being violent. It was
indispensable to do something, for she was beginning to shiver, the sheet being but a poor protection. Her excitement had in a measure kept her warm during the few minutes' adventure; but that beatific interval was over.
It suddenly occurred to her to try persuasion; and accordingly she whispered in his ear, with as much
firmness and decision as she could summon--
`Let us walk on, darling,' at the same time
taking him suggestively by the arm. To her relief, he unresistingly acquiesced; her words had
apparently thrown him back into his dream, which thenceforward seemed to enter on a new phase,
wherein he fancied she had risen as a spirit, and was leading him to Heaven. Thus she conducted him by the arm to the stone
bridge in front of their residence, crossing which they stood at the manor-house door. Tess's feet were quite bare, and the stones hurt her, and chilled her to the bone; but Clare was in his woollen stockings, and appeared to feel no
discomfort.
There was no further difficulty. She induced him to lie down on his own sofa bed, and covered him up warmly,
lighting a
temporary fire of wood, to dry any dampness out of him. The noise of these attentions she thought might awaken him, and
secretly wished that they might. But the
exhaustion of his mind and body was such that he remained
undisturbed.
As soon as they met the next morning Tess divined that Angel knew little or nothing of how far she had been
concerned in the night's
excursion, though, as regarded himself he may have been aware that he had not lain still. In truth, he had awakened that morning from a sleep deep as annihilation; and during those first few moments in which the brain, like a Samson shaking himself, is
trying its strength, he had some dim notion of an unusual nocturnal
proceeding. But the realities of his situation soon displaced
conjecture on the other subject.
He waited in expectancy to
discern some mental pointing; he knew that if any intention of his, concluded over-night, did not vanish in the light of morning, it stood on a basis approximating to one of pure reason, even if initiated by impulse of feeling; that it was so far, therefore, to be trusted. He thus beheld in the pale morning light the resolve to separate from her; not as a hot and
indignant instinct, but denuded of the passionateness which had made it
scorch and burn; standing in its bones; nothing but a
skeleton, but none the less there. Clare no longer hesitated.
At breakfast, and while they were packing the few remaining articles, he showed his
weariness from the night's efforts so unmistakably that Tess was on the point of revealing all that had happened; but the reflection that it would anger him, grieve him, stultify him, to know that he had
instinctively manifested a
fondness for her of which his common-sense did not approve; that his
inclination had compromised his dignity when reason slept, again deterred her. It was too much like laughing at a man when sober for his erratic deeds during intoxication.
It just crossed her mind, too, that he might have a faint
recollection of his tender vagary, and was disinclined to
allude to it from a conviction that she would take amatory advantage of the opportunity it gave her of
appealing to him anew not to go.
He had ordered by letter a
vehicle from the nearest town, and soon after breakfast it arrived. She saw in it the beginning of the end - the
temporary end, at least, for the
revelation of his
tenderness by the incident of the night raised dreams of a possible future with him. The
luggage was put on the top, and the man drove them off, the
miller and the old waiting-woman expressing some surprise at their
precipitate departure, which Clare attributed to his discovery that the mill-work was not of the modern kind which he wished to
investigate, a statement that was true so far as it went. Beyond this there was nothing in the manner of their leaving to suggest a fiasco, or that they were not going together to visit friends.
Their route lay near the dairy from which they had started with such solemn joy in each other a few days back, and, as Clare wished to wind up his business with Mr Crick, Tess could hardly avoid paying Mrs Crick a call at the same time, unless she would excite suspicion of their unhappy state.
To make the call as unobtrusive as possible they left the carriage by the wicket leading down from the high road to the dairy-house, and descended the track on foot, side by side. The withy-bed had been cut, and they could see over the stumps the spot to which Clare had followed her when he pressed her to be his wife; to the left the
enclosure in which she had been fascinated by his harp; and far away behind the cowstalls the mead which had been the scene of their first embrace. The gold of the summer picture was now gray, the colours mean, the rich soil mud, and the river cold.
Over the barton-gate the dairyman saw them, and came forward, throwing into his face the kind of jocularity deemed
appropriate in Talbothays and its
vicinity on the re-appearance of the newly-married. Then Mrs Crick emerged from the house, and several others of their old acquaintance, though Marian and Retty did not seem to be there.
Tess
valiantly bore their sly attacks and friendly humours, which
affected her far otherwise than they supposed. In the tacit agreement of husband and wife to keep their estrangement a secret they behaved as would have been ordinary. And then, although she would rather there had been no word spoken on the subject, Tess had to hear in detail the story of Marian and Retty.
The latter had gone home to her father's, and Marian had left to look for employment elsewhere. They feared she would come to no good.
To dissipate the
sadness of this
recital Tess went and bade all her favourite cows good-bye,
touching each of them with her hand, and as she and Clare stood side by side at leaving, as if united body and soul, there would have been something
peculiarly sorry in their aspect to one who should have seen it truly; two limbs of one life, as they outwardly were, his arm
touching hers, her skirts
touching him, facing one way, as against all the dairy facing the other,
speaking in their adieux as `we', and yet sundered like the poles. Perhaps something
unusually stiff and embarrassed in their attitude, some awkwardness in acting up to their profession of unity, different from the natural shyness of young couples, may have been apparent, for when they were gone Mrs Crick said to her husband--
`How onnatural the
brightness of her eyes did seem, and how they stood like waxen images and talked as if they were in a dream! Didn't it strike 'ee that 'twas so? Tess had always sommat strange in her, and she's not now quite like the proud young bride of a well-be-doing man.'
They re-entered the
vehicle, and were driven along the roads towards Weatherbury and Stagfoot Lane, till they reached the Lane inn, where Clare dismissed the fly and man. They rested here a while, and entering the Vale were next driven
onward towards her home by a stranger who did not know their relations. At a
midway point, when Nuttlebury had been passed, and where there were cross-roads, Clare stopped the
conveyance and said to Tess that if she meant to return to her mother's house it was here that he would leave her. As they could not talk with freedom in the driver's presence he asked her to accompany him for a few steps on foot along one of the branch roads; she assented, and directing the man to wait a few minutes they strolled away.
`Now, let us understand each other,' he said gently. `There is no anger between us, though there is that which I cannot endure at present. I will try to bring myself to endure it. I will let you know where I go to as soon as I know myself. And if I can bring myself to bear it - if it is desirable, possible - I will come to you. But until I come to you it will be better that you should not try to come to me.'
The
severity of the decree seemed deadly to Tess; she saw his view of her clearly enough; he could regard her in no other light than that of one who had practised gross
deceit upon him. Yet could a woman who had done even what she had done deserve all this? But she could contest the point with him no further. She simply
repeated after him his own words.
`Until you come to me I must not try to come to you?'
`Just so.'
`May I write to you?'
`O yes - if you are ill, or want anything at all. I hope that will not be the case; so that it may happen that I write first to you.'
`I agree to the conditions, Angel; because you know best what my punishment ought to be; only - only - don't make it more than I can bear!'
That was all she said on the matter. If Tess had been artful, had she made a scene, fainted, wept hysterically, in that lonely lane,
notwithstanding the fury of fastidiousness with which he was possessed, he would probably not have withstood her. But her mood of long-suffering made his way easy for him, and she herself was his best advocate. Pride, too, entered into her
submission which perhaps was a
symptom of that
reckless acquiescence in chance too apparent in the whole d'Urberville family - and the many effective chords which she could have stirred by an
appeal were left
untouched.
The
remainder of their
discourse was on practical matters only. He now handed her a
packet containing a fairly good sum of money, which he had obtained from his bankers for the purpose. The brilliants, the interest in which seemed to be Tess's for her life only (if he understood the wording of the will), he advised her to let him send to a bank for safety; and to this she readily agreed.
These things arranged he walked with Tess back to the carriage, and handed her in. The
coachman was paid and told where to drive her. Taking next his own bag and
umbrella - the sole articles he had brought with him hitherwards - he bade her good-bye; and they parted there and then.
The fly moved creepingly up a hill, and Clare watched it go with an unpremeditated hope that Tess would look out of the window for one moment. But that she never thought of doing, would not have ventured to do, lying in a half-dead faint inside. Thus he beheld her
recede, and in the
anguish of his heart quoted a line from a poet, with peculiar emendations of his own--
God's not in his heaven: all's wrong with the world!
When Tess had passed over the crest of the hill he turned to go his own way, and hardly knew that he loved her still.
午夜静静地来了,又悄悄地走了,因为在佛卢姆谷里没有报告时刻的教堂。
凌晨一点后不久,过去曾经是德贝维尔府邸的屋子,黑沉沉的一片,里面传出来一阵轻微的咯吱咯吱的声音。睡在楼上房间里的苔丝听见了,惊醒过来。声音是从楼梯拐角处传来的,因为那层楼梯像往常一样钉得很松。她看见她的房间门被打开了,她丈夫的形体迈着异常小心的脚步,穿过那一道月光走了进来。他只穿了衬衫和衬裤,所以她最初看见他的时候,心里头一阵欢喜,但是当她看见他奇异眼睛茫然地瞪着,她的欢喜也就消失了。他走到了房间的中间僵硬地站在那儿,用一种难以描述的悲伤语气嘟哝着说--
"死了!死了!死了!"
克莱尔只要受到强烈的刺激,偶尔就会出现梦游的现象,甚至还会做出一些奇怪的惊人之举,就在他们结婚之前从市镇上回来的那个夜晚,他在房间里同侮辱苔丝的那个男人打了起来,就属于这种情形。苔丝看出来,是克莱尔心中继续不断的痛苦,把他折磨得夜里起来梦游了。
她在心中,对他既非常忠实,又非常信任,所以无论克莱尔睡了还是醒着,都不会引起她的害怕。即使他手里拿着一把手枪进来,一点也不会减少她对他的信任,她相信他会保护她。
克莱尔走到她的跟前,弯下腰来。"死了!死了!死了!"他嘟哝着说。
他用同样无限哀伤的目光死死地把她注视了一会儿,然后把腰弯得更低了,把她抱在自己的怀里,用床单把她裹起来,就像是用裹尸布裹的一样。接着他把她从床上举起来,那种尊敬的神情就像是面对死者一样。他抱着她从房间里走出去,嘴里嘟哝着--
"我可怜的,可怜的苔丝--我最亲爱的宝贝苔丝!这样的甜蜜,这样的善良,这样的真诚!"
在他醒着的时候是绝对不肯说出口的这些甜言蜜语,在她那颗孤独渴望的心听来,真是甜蜜得无法形容。即使是拼着自己已经厌倦了的性命不要,她也不肯动一动,或挣扎一下,从而改变了她现在所处的情景。她就这样一动也不动地躺着,简直连大气也不敢出,心里不知道他要抱着她干什么。他就这样抱着她走到了楼梯口。
"我的妻子--死了,死了!"他说。
他累了,就抱着她靠在楼梯的栏杆上,歇了一会儿。他是要把她扔下去吗?她已经没有了自我关心的意识,她知道他已经计划明天就离开了,可能是永远离开了,她就这样躺在他的怀里,尽管危险,但是她不害怕,反而觉得是一种享受。要是他们能够一块儿摔下去,两个人都摔得粉身碎骨,那该多好啊,该多称她的心愿啊。
但是他没有把她扔下去,而是借助楼梯栏杆的支撑,在她的嘴唇上吻了一下--而那是他白天不屑吻的嘴唇。接着他又把她牢牢地抱起来,下了楼梯。楼梯的松散部分发出咯吱咯吱的声音,但是也没有把他惊醒过来,他们就这样安全地走到了楼下。有一会儿,他从抱着她的双手中松出一只手来,把门栓拉开,走了出去,他只穿着袜子,出门时脚趾头在门边轻轻地碰了一下。但是他似乎并不知道,到了门外,他有了充分活动的余地,就把苔丝扛在肩上,这样搬动起来他感到更加轻松些。身上没有穿多少衣服,这也为他减轻了不少的负担。他就这样扛着她离开了那所屋子,朝几码外的河边走去。
他的最终目的是什么,如果他有什么目的的话,但是她还没有猜出来;她还发现她就像第三个人一样,在那儿猜想着他可能要干什么。既然她已经把自己完全交给了他,所以她一动也不动,满怀高兴地想着他把她完全当成了他自己的财产,随他怎样处理好了。她心里萦绕着明天分离的恐怖,因此当她觉得他现在真正承认她是他的妻子了,并没有把她扔出去,即使他敢利用这种承认的权利伤害她,这也是对她的安慰。
啊!她现在知道他正在做什么梦了--在那个星期天的早晨,他把她和另外几个姑娘一起抱过了水塘,那几个姑娘也和她一样地爱他,如果那是可能的话,不过苔丝很难承认这一点。克莱尔现在并没有把她抱过桥去,而是抱着她在河的这一边走了几步,朝附近的磨坊走去,后来在河边站住不动了。
河水在这片草地上向下流去,延伸了好几英里,它以毫无规则地曲线蜿蜒前进,不断地分割着草地,环抱着许多无名的小岛,然后又流回来,汇聚成一条宽阔的河流。他把苔丝抱到这个地方的对面,是这片河水的总汇,和其它地方比起来,这儿的河水既宽又深。河上只有一座很窄的便桥;但是现在河水已经把桥上的栏杆冲走了,只留下光秃秃的桥板,桥面离湍急的河水只有几英寸,即使头脑清醒的人走在这座桥上,也不免。要感到头昏眼花;苔丝在白天曾经从窗户里看见,有一个年轻人从桥上走过去,就好像在表演走钢丝的技巧。她的丈夫可能也看见过同样的表演;不管怎样,他现在已经走上了桥板,迈开脚步沿着桥向前走了。
他是要把她扔到河里去吗?他大概是的。那个地方偏僻无人,河水又深又宽,足可以轻易地就达到把她扔到河里去的目的。如果他愿意,他就可以把她淹死;这总比明天劳燕分飞要好些。
激流在他们的下面奔腾,打着漩涡,月亮倒映在河水里,被河水抛掷着,扭曲着,撕裂着。一簇簇水沫从桥下漂过,水草受到推动而在木桩的后面摇摆。如果他们现在一起跌到激流中去,由于他们的胳膊互相紧紧地搂在一起,因此他们是谁也活不了的;他们都可以毫无痛苦地离开这个世界,也不会有人因为他娶了她而责备她或者他了。他同她在一起的最后半个小时,将是爱她的半个小时。而他们要是仍然活着,等到他醒了,他就要恢复白天对她的厌恶态度了,这个时候的情形,就只是一个转瞬即逝的梦幻了。