It is the moment that every woman ---- or at least every one who has had to endure an unhappy marriage ---- recognizes. Head thrown back, actress Nicole Kidman lets out a scream of joy at the realization that, this time, it really is over.

　　就在这一刻，每一个女人--至少是每一个忍受不幸结婚的女人--都清醒了。女星尼科尔"基德曼高昂着头发出一声欣喜的呼号。这一次，她真的是解脱了。

　　Kidman's confidence that this is the right decision, is shared by millions of other women around the world. For all the evidence, both statistical and anecdotal, suggests that women fare better in divorce than men. While at the moment Tom may seem to be moving on at a rate of knots, chances are that in five years time it is Nicole who will be having the fewer regrets about their parting. So far, Kidman is providing a textbook explanation for why women cope better with break-ups than men.

　　基德曼认为这是她的明智之举，而她这么做的信心也为全世界数百万女性所分享。不管是从统计数字还是奇闻轶事来看，所有的证据都表明离了婚的女性生活得比男性强。很可能5年内，为两人分手而后悔的是尼科尔，因为此刻汤姆克鲁斯的演艺事业看起来正飞黄腾达。迄今为止，基德曼为为什么女性能比男性更好地处理分手做出了一个合乎规范的解释。

　　She has been pictured in Australia with a separated girl's most important friend ---- her mother. If, as reports suggest, Nicole is planning to move with her children back to her home country, she can count on a good network of female family members to help take the strain of single motherhood.

　　有照片显示基德曼身在澳大利亚，与离婚女性最好的朋友--母亲在一起。如果如报道所预测的那样，尼科尔将携子女返回澳大利亚，她可以倚仗良好的女性家族圈来缓解作为单身母亲的紧张压力。

　　It is this ability of women to create strong sustaining networks of female friends that gets them through the worst days of divorce. Even if she is in a good relationship, a woman will have close girlfriends with whom she talks about everything that is going on her life. If the marriage breaks up, she still has that support system in place. Men, by contrast, are much more likely to report that their spouse is their sole confidante: lose the marriage and they lose their best friend.

　　女性具有建立强有力的、能支撑自己的同性人脉的能力，正是这一能力让她们度过了离婚过程中最糟心的日子。即使女性与家人关系良好，她们也会寻找能谈论生活琐事的贴心朋友。即使婚姻破裂，她们这一支撑网络始终还在。相形之下，男人很可能会宣告妻子是她们唯一的红颜知己：失去婚姻，男人也就失去了最好的支持者。

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　　It is this putting of all their emotional eggs in one basket which informs men's different responses to divorce. The sensible ones get hitched again, and as soon as possible: in the over-45 age group they lead women in the remarriage stakes by almost 10 per cent. The sad ones, meanwhile, just get sadder.

　　男人对离婚的态度不同于女性，他们把所有情感寄托在一个人身上。明智的男人会在离婚后与前妻再续前缘，而且是越快越好：45岁以上的男人们中，几乎有10%让前妻冒险与之再婚。而那些不能复婚的可悲男士，只能更加悲惨。

　　Self-harm comes in many forms, all of which show up in the research literature on divorce and the gender gap. Men's physical health, for instance, is higher inside marriage: unmarried men between 45 and 64 are twice as likely to die within l0 years as married men of the same age. 'A man who lives with a woman will not only eat better and drink less, he also goes to the doctor sooner with symptoms,' reports Penny Mansfield, Director of a marriage research organization. "There is someone to nag him about taking care of himself."

　　糟蹋自己的方式多种多样，但几乎都出现在关于离婚和性别隔阂的研究文献中。比如，未离婚的男士身体较健康：45到64岁之间的离异男士，其10年内死亡的几率是同一年龄段的已婚男士的两倍。'和女人一起生活的男士不仅吃得好、喝得少，而且有了病症能及时去看医生'据彭妮曼斯菲尔德，一家婚姻研究机构董事说。"在婚姻中，女人对男人唠叨，让他照顾好自己。"

　　For women, the health advantages of getting married are less clear. While better nutrition and health care ---- the result of being part of a double or higher income unit ---- may be part of the package, there is also the extra burden that comes with looking after other people. Whether a woman decides that the extra work of marriage is worth it comes down to the emotional and practical support that she gets from her partner. Research found that men consistently overestimate their own contribution to domestic responsibilities and underestimate that of their wives.

　　对于女性来说，结婚带来的健康优势不那么明确。双份收入带来更好的营养与保健，这只是婚姻的一部分，还有随之而来的照顾丈夫的额外负担。一个女人决定婚姻所带来的额外付出是否值得，取决于另一半在感情上及行动上对她的支持。研究发现男人总是高估自己分担的家庭义务，而低估妻子所分担的义务。

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　　It's this gap between expectation and reality which seems to trigger a woman's desire to leave a marriage. Once a woman starts to feel unsupported by her partner, she also realizes that she feels just as alone as she ever did as a single person. In which case, she may ask herself whether she wouldn't be better off on her own. Men, on the other hand, are less affected by the quality of the marriage, and more concerned with the simple fact of its existence. Just being married, even to someone who makes your heart sink, brings men significant satisfactions. No wonder, then, that they have to be dragged into divorce kicking and screaming: for every seven separations initiated by women, men bring only three.

　　正是这理想与现实之间的差距引发了女士要摆脱婚姻的想法。一旦女人开始感觉没有了另一半的支持，她便会感到自己很孤单，和结婚前没什么两样。而在这样情况下，女人就会思量独自生活的境遇是否会更好。相反，男人很少受婚姻质量的影响，他们更关心婚姻存在与否这一事实。即使是对于那个曾经抛弃过你又和你结婚的男人来说，只要结了婚，他就心满意足了。无怪乎，男男女女必须打闹着艰难地离婚：其中女性提出分手的占7成，男士占3成。

　　The picture of Nicole Kidman dancing down the street at the thought of being free from Tom Cruise was flashed around the world as an iconic image of how modern women are thriving on divorce. But it's important not to let Kidman's pose sweep reason away.

　　尼科尔"基德曼因为从汤姆"克鲁斯那儿获得了自由，而沿着大道跳舞的照片散布到了全世界，这是现代女性是怎样通过离婚而获得生机的生动写照。可重要的是，别只看到基德曼装腔作势，而无视其离婚的真正原因。

　　For the fact remains that marriage is good for women as well as men, married women are healthier and happier than their single sisters. While there can be no doubt that divorce can be a positive step for many people, what we need to do now is concentrate on helping people build healthy relationships which last. For while there is something exhilarating about Nicole Kidman's whoop of joy, let no one forget the years of silent unhappiness which preceded it.

　　婚姻对于男人女人都有好处，这是个不争的事实。已婚女士比单身女性更健康更幸福。毫无疑问，对于许多人来说，离婚是迈出了积极的一步。如今我们所需要做的就是帮助人们建立健康持久的家庭关系。因为当我们为基德曼欣喜的呼号而感到欢欣鼓舞时，还是不要忘记离婚前那段寂静不幸的岁月吧。

　　(来源：DIOnews)

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