Big Hands

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands.

大手

老师：如果我左手有7个橙子，右手有8个橙子，那么我有什么？

学生：一双大手。

What soldiers?

Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.

Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?

什么士兵？

妻子：亲爱的！快看那些士兵，他们看经过的那位漂亮女郎都看得发呆了。

丈夫：士兵？什么士兵？

Five Hundred Times

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

五百遍

　　在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道："你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现今生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写'我开车闯了红灯'500遍。"