English Language Errors around the World

Have fun reading the following signs, all of which contain amusing language errors. With a partner:

1. Work out why the sign is funny. Why does it make you laugh? What was the writer really trying to say?

2. Write a sign that expresses the writer's idea more accurately.

1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

2) Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

4) Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

5) At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

6) Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

7) Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

8) Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan: TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.

10) On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

11) In a restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

13) In a maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

14) In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

16) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

17) In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

18) In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

20) Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

21) Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

22) Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

24) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

25) Ski hotel, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

26) Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

27) Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

28) An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

29) A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

30) Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

31) Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

32) On the door of a Moscow hotel room (during Communist rule): IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

Chinglish

1. Yesterday I meet a problem on my way to work.

2. "Can I help you?" -"Yes, could you introduce a book for me to help me study grammar."

3. "What is your means?" -"My means is I don't know how to do skateboard."

4. "Don't you have a car?" -"Yes, I don't have a car."

5. "I am Beijing University" -"Yes, may I speak to Mr. John."

6. "How are you doing?" -"I am studying English."

7. "How do you get to work?"-"I come to buy a bus."

8. "How to spell island?" -"I don't know how to spell."

9. Though she lives close to me, but she never visits.

10. This is my first time to come to Shanghai.

11. Not only she have a husband, but also have a boyfriend.

12. "I go first, goodbye." -"See you later."

13. "Did you eat your medicine?" -"I only can eat it at night."

14. "Please, pardon." -"I said 'Don't repeat my speech.'"

15. "Where is Carol?" -"Here I am, I come back."



The following conversation is between two Chinese people speaking English. They have just met each other on a train going to Hangzhou.

A: "Hello, may I ask what is the time?"

B: "It is seven half passed. Where do you go?"

A: "I go to Hangzhou. You are from what city?"

B: "I from Shanghai. And you?"

A: "I am from Hangzhou. Now I go back to home. Do you go there now?"

B: "Yes, I am. I visit my sister. She is get married on Saturday. She marry a Chengdu person.

A: "What do you think of Hangzhou? Is it your first time to come?"

B: "No, I have been visited my sister before. I very like the weather and scenery here. Shanghai people is more fashion and their living way is more Western , but Hangzhounese are work hard and the city is clean."

A: "Really? What do you do in your free time?"

B: "I watch DVD and listen music. And you?"

A: "I like travel and study English but I meet many problems."
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