entirely taken me up, and I only knew that he was speedily
expected.
"The day before
yesterday, on my
arrival at Paris, I heard she
was dead; I sent to his lodgings to enquire if they had any news
of him, and word was brought me he came to town the night before,
which was
precisely the day that Madam de Tournon died; I
immediately went to see him, concluding in what condition I
should find him, but his
affliction far surpassed what I had
imagined.
"Never did I see a sorrow so deep and so tender; the moment he
saw me he embraced me with tears; `I shall never see her more,'
said he, `I shall never see her more, she is dead, I was not
worthy of her, but I shall soon follow her.'
"After this he was silent; and then, from time to time,
continually repeating `She is dead, I shall never see her more,'
he returned to lamentations and tears, and continued as a man
bereft of reason. He told me he had not often received letters
from her during his
absence, but that he knew her too well to be
surprised at it, and was
sensible how shy and timorous she was of
writing; he made no doubt but she would have married him upon his
return; he considered her as the most
amiable and
constant of her
sex; he thought himself
tenderlybeloved by her; he lost her the
moment he expected to be united to her for ever; all these
thoughts threw him into so
violent an
affliction, that I own I
was deeply touched with it.
"Nevertheless I was
obliged to leave him to go to the King, but
promised to return immediately;
accordingly I did, and I was
never so surprised as I was to find him entirely changed from
what I had left him; he was
standing in his
chamber, his face
full of fury, sometimes walking, sometimes stopping short, as if
he had been distracted; `Come,' says he, `and see the most
forlorn
wretch in the world; I am a thousand times more unhappy
than I was a while ago, and what I have just heard of Madam de
Tournon is worse than her death.'
"I took what he said to be
wholly the effect of grief, and could
not imagine that there could be anything worse than the death of
a mi
stress one loves and is
beloved by; I told him, that so far
as he kept his grief within bounds, I approved of it, and bore a
part in it; but that I should no longer pity him, if he
abandoned
himself to
despair and flew from reason. `I should be too happy
if I had lost both my reason and my life,' cried he; `Madam de
Tournon was false to me, and I am informed of her unfaithfulness
and
treachery the very day after I was informed of her death; I
am informed of it at a time when my soul is filled with the most
tender love, and pierced with the sharpest grief that ever was;
at a time when the idea of her in my heart, is that of the most
perfect woman who ever lived, and the most perfect with respect
to me; I find I am
mistaken, and that she does not
deserve to be
lamented by me;
nevertheless I have the same concern for her
death, as if she had been true to me, and I have the same
sensibility of her
falsehood, as if she were yet living; had I
heard of her
falsehood before her death,
jealousy, anger, and
rage would have possessed me, and in some
measure hardened me
against the grief for her loss; but now my condition is such,
that I am
incapable of receiving comfort, and yet know not how to
hate her.'
"You may judge of the surprise I was in at what Sancerre told
me; I asked him how he came by the knowledge of it, and he told
me that the minute I went away from him, Etouteville, who is his
intimate friend, but who
nevertheless knew nothing of his love
for Madam de Tournon, came to see him; that as soon as he was sat
down, he fell a-weeping, and asked his
pardon for having
concealed from him what he was going to tell him, that he begged
him to have com
passion of him, that he was come to open his heart
to him, and that he was the person in the world the most
afflicted for the death of Madam de Tournon.
"`That name,' said Sancerre, `so astonished me, that though my
first
intention was to tell him I was more afflicted than he, I
had not the power to speak: he continued to inform me, that he
had been in love with her six months, that he was always desirous
to let me know it, but she had
expresslyforbid him; and in so