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The Marriage Contract-Part20_Honore de Balzac(1799-1850)_Translated Works(翻译文学)-第2页

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confide to you my wife. I know no better guardian. Being



childless, a lover might be dangerous to her. Henri! I love her

madly, basely, without proper pride. I would forgive her, I think,



an infidelity, not because I am certain of avenging it, but

because I would kill myself to leave her free and happy--since I



could not make her happiness myself. But what have I to fear?

Natalie feels for me that friendship which is independent of love,



but which preserves love. I have treated her like a petted child.

I took such delight in my sacrifices, one led so naturally to



another, that she can never be false; she would be a monster if

she were. Love begets love.



Alas! shall I tell you all, my dear Henri? I have just written her

a letter in which I let her think that I go with heart of hope and



brow serene; that neither jealousy, nor doubt, nor fear is in my

soul,--a letter, in short, such as a son might write to his



mother, aware that he is going to his death. Good God! de Marsay,

as I wrote it hell was in my soul! I am the most wretched man on



earth. Yes, yes, to you the cries, to you the grinding of my

teeth! I avow myself to you a despairing lover; I would rather



live these six years sweeping the streets beneath her windows than

return a millionaire at the end of them--if I could choose. I



suffer agony; I shall pass from pain to pain until I hear from you

that you will take the trust which you alone can fulfil or



accomplish.

Oh! my dear de Marsay, this woman is indispensable to my life; she



is my sun, my atmosphere. Take her under your shield and buckler,

keep her faithful to me, even if she wills it not. Yes, I could be



satisfied with a half-happiness. Be her guardian, her chaperon,

for I could have no distrust of you. Prove to her that in



betraying me she would do a low and vulgar thing, and be no better

than the common run of women; tell her that faithfulness will



prove her lofty spirit.

She probably has fortune enough to continue her life of luxury and



ease. But if she lacks a pleasure, if she has caprices which she

cannot satisfy, be her banker, and do not fear, I WILL return with



wealth.

But, after all, these fears are in vain! Natalie is an angel of



purity and virtue. When Felix de Vandenesse fell deeply in love

with her and began to show her certain attentions, I had only to



let her see the danger, and she instantly thanked me so

affectionately that I was moved to tears. She said that her



dignity and reputation demanded that she should not close her

doors abruptly to any man, but that she knew well how to dismiss



him. She did, in fact, receive him so coldly that the affair all

ended for the best. We have never had any other subject of dispute



--if, indeed, a friendly talk could be called a dispute--in all

our married life.



And now, my dear Henri, I bid you farewell in the spirit of a man.

Misfortune has come. No matter what the cause, it is here. I strip



to meet it. Poverty and Natalie are two irreconcilable terms. The

balance may be close between my assets and my liabilities, but no



one shall have cause to complain of me. But, should any unforeseen

event occur to imperil my honor, I count on you.



Send letters under cover to the Governor of India at Calcutta. I

have friendly relations with his family, and some one there will



care for all letters that come to me from Europe. Dear friend, I

hope to find you the same de Marsay on my return,--the man who



scoffs at everything and yet is receptive of the feelings of

others when they accord with the grandeur he is conscious of in



himself. You stay in Paris, friend; but when you read these words,

I shall be crying out, "To Carthage!"



The Marquis Henri de Marsay to Comte Paul de Manerville:

So, so, Monsieur le comte, you have made a wreck of it! Monsieur



l'ambassadeur has gone to the bottom! Are these the fine things

that you were doing?



Why, Paul, why have you kept away from me? If you had said a

single word, my poor old fellow, I would have made your position



plain to you. Your wife has refused me her endorsement. May that




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